Choosing to Hope
By Lisa Bode

     “'For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.’” – Jeremiah 29:11.
Dear Sisters,
     A rousing melody on the classical radio awakened me at 7:30 this morning. We’d had a hymn sing at our house and lots of company the night before, keeping me up late. I would have rolled over and tuned the music out – but I didn’t want it to wake up Lana, my roommate in the bottom bunk, and I was scheduled to meet a friend for coffee at 9:00. So I hurried down the ladder, stumbled across the room, and somehow managed to hit the power button on the radio.
     I’m not a morning person, and early hours tend to find me disoriented and incoherent J. But I managed to find my way down the hallway to the shower, and saw a sign on the bathroom door. “Do not shower.” What is with that? I thought.
     I leaned over the banister and called down to Mom in a groggy voice. “Why can’t we shower, Mom?”
     She explained something about the water filter having a problem, and no one could shower until 9:00.
     “But I have to be gone by 9:00, Mom,” I groaned. “I have to shower!”
     “I’m sorry, honey,” she called back up. “It’s not working, and I can’t shower now either.”
     “But I have to leave…” I whined, still trying to wake up, beginning to realize that my schedule constraints could not fix the water filter. My beautifully laid out plans for this morning were already going awry. I would have to make do without a shower and go on my way. I had no choice, no way to change my situation.
     I stumbled down the stairs and looked out the window at the front porch. The sunrise illuminated a beautiful frozen winter morning. It dawned on me then that I did have a choice. I couldn’t change my circumstances. I couldn’t fix the shower, or resolve the much greater disappointments and unknowns in my life. But I could change my attitude.
     It was my decision – would I live today frustrated and resentful, or would I choose to rejoice in hope?
     Every day you and I face choices. We have dreams and desires for our lives, plans for very little details like morning schedules, and plans for big decisions like education, ministry, marriage. We have a vision of how we want life to work.
     Sometimes God’s plan matches our plan. Everything works out just how we’d envisioned. Other times God’s plan is similar, but involves a little adjustment on our part, a few sacrifices or unexpected changes.
     And then other times God’s plan completely intersects ours. His way points in a totally different direction, involving something we never expected, something we didn’t ask for, something we desperately did not want.
     Bethany is a teenage girl who loves God with all her heart. She’s been battling cancer for a few years, and just found out that her cancer is growing and inoperable. She may have only a few months to live.
     Kathryn and her sister were serving God in Moscow, Russia. One morning as they stood on a street corner, a drunk driver hit them. Her sister died instantly, and Kathryn has faced intense physical challenges ever since.
     Elisabeth Elliot and her husband had surrendered their lives to Jesus and were working to reach an Indian tribe who had never heard the Gospel. Her husband was speared to death in the prime of his life only a short time after they were married. She was left in Ecuador, a single mother.
     Lisa Beamer was an average Christian woman, leading Bible studies, mothering two children, and loving her husband Todd. On September 11^th, 2001, her husband boarded United flight 93. He never came home from work that day.
     Each of these women had dreams, desires, just like us. They had plans for their future, ways they envisioned their lives working out. And then God allowed a tragedy. His plan involved something they did not expect, something they did not ask for, something they desperately did not want.
     We look at the promises of the Bible – promises that God causes all things to work for our good, that He knows the plans He has for us to give us a future and a hope, and so many other optimistic verses that seem to paint a picture of a wonderful, happy life. And then we look at reality, tragedy, disappointment. Points where God’s plan leads in an entirely different direction from our plan, and involves circumstances that we did not want and cannot change.
     Where is the goodness of God? Where is His love, His omnipotence, in events like these? He could heal Bethany’s cancer, but so far He hasn’t. He could have kept Kathryn’s sister, Jim Elliot, or Todd Beamer alive. But He didn’t. Why not?
     The Bible tells us, “Good and upright is the Lord ….”– Psalm 25:8.
     “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” – Rom. 8:28.
     But how do we balance that with a disappointing reality?
     In our minds, good equals our plan, what we want, the fulfillment of our desires and dreams.
     But in God’s mind (and His thoughts are so much higher than ours – Isaiah 55:9), good equals the fulfillment of His plan for us to be conformed to the image of His Son. “For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son….” – Romans 8:29. That is the context of Romans 8:28.
     Why was Peter released, but John the Baptist died in prison?
     Why did Jesus calm the storm for His disciples, but later allow Paul to be shipwrecked?
     Why did God say “no” to your dreams, allow your heart to be broken, and lead you in a direction you’d never anticipated?
     We don’t know why. We can guess at reasons, but we can’t fully understand, and we can’t change what happened.
     But we can change our attitude.
     Today we can despair and give up following God, because His plan is not what we may have wanted.
     Or today we can go through the motions of following God, drag ourselves through His will with a heart of bitterness, resentment, self-pity, and despair, because God overturned our schedule, or said “no” to our dreams.
     Or today we can deny ourselves and lay our plan on the altar – the little details and the big things. We can give up our definition of good, our opinion of how life should work, and we can accept God’s definition of good and trust His character when we don’t understand. Today we can choose to accept His plan with both hands, to fully embrace the opportunities He does give, and to joyfully do without the opportunities He withholds.
     Lisa Beamer writes in her excellent book Let’s Roll, about “…thoughts of all the loss that we have experienced personally. We’re left with choices about what we will do with those feelings. The choices… are to look at all the things we’ve lost or to look at all the things we have, to become bitter or to become better, to live in fear or to live in hope.”
     It is our choice. We cannot always choose our circumstances. But we can choose our attitude.
     “And now, Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in You.” – Psalm 39:7.
     Last fall I surrendered to Jesus in a new way (see the article “Questions” in this issue). In December we felt His call to transition The King’s Daughter ministry online. That decision was not impulsive, but the culmination of weeks of prayer and thought. And in January I felt as if my life was emptying out, as if my plans were crumbling, as if nothing was how I’d expected or wanted it.
     So I face a choice, and so do you. What will we hope in – the fulfillment of our dreams and desires? They may crumble, and we may plummet to despair.
     Or will we hope in God? “…And you will know that I am the Lord; those who hopefully wait for Me will not be put to shame.” – Isaiah 49:23.
     Lisa Beamer and Elisabeth Elliot, Kathryn and Bethany, chose to live in hope – hope in God. So do I. Will you? ©

A Source of Confidence
By Lana Bode

Dear Sisters,
     It was a late night in January. I was tired. I was cold. I felt empty. I stared across the room, pencil in hand, poised, thinking. Where is my confidence? In whose strength am I really trusting? I had just read Philippians 4:13. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
     I thought about that verse. I pondered. Finally, I turned to my open journal and admitted, “My confidence is in myself. I rely on my strengths and talents to make me successful. This will fail. Christ is the only sure foundation.”
     I turned to Philippians 3:3. “...have no confidence in the flesh.” Have no confidence in the flesh. It’s that simple. By myself, I am nothing. And based on John 15:5, I can tell you that by yourself, you are nothing. Our strength is sadly weak.
     Have you ever faced a challenging situation and thought, “I can handle this”? Or “I can make it”? I do not want to say that these phrases are wrong. But too easily, they advance from casual phrases to our own philosophies. We begin to not only say, but believe, that we can handle it, that we can make it. And if things start going too badly, then we turn to God.
     I have often wondered why we frequently wait to turn to God until we are desperate. Why don’t we claim His strength early on instead of waiting until disaster strikes?
     Whatever the reasons may be, each of us needs to realize that God’s strength is infinitely greater than our own. We must trust God’s power in every situation. Dear sisters, I firmly believe that God wants us to draw from His power supply.
     In 2 Corinthians 6:1, Paul says, “We then, as workers together with Him also plead with you not to receive the grace of God in vain.” Each of us can be a worker together with God.
     We cannot survive without Him, but He can easily survive without us. Nevertheless, He wants – wants – to work together with us. What an amazing offer!
     Maybe your problem is not overconfidence in yourself, but lack of confidence in God. Maybe you wonder if God is really able to work through the weak vessels we all are.
     The answer is yes. (See 2 Cor. 12:9.) When Paul wrote to the Corinthians (see above), he pleaded with them not to receive the grace of God in vain. God’s grace is there. We just have to use it, and use it for His glory. He can, and will, work through you if you open your vessel, weak as it may be, and invite Him to flow through.
     Maybe you have opened your vessel to God, and you don’t understand what God has chosen to do in your life. Maybe you have just experienced a painful tragedy. Maybe you are going through a tough trial.
     I used to think that Christians should never ask God “why?”. Now I have begun to realize that it is okay to bring our questions, our misunderstandings, to God. That’s what the prophet Habakkuk did.
     And God will answer you. Most likely, He will answer in much the same way that He answered Habakkuk. “A full answer is coming. It may be slowly coming, but you will someday understand. And in the meantime, faith in Me will carry you through.” (See Habakkuk 2:3-4.)
     And God will give you the grace to respond much like Habakkuk did. “...I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation. The Lord God is my strength; He will make my feet like deer’s feet, and He will make me walk on my high hills.” – Habakkuk 3:18-19.
     And then, on dreary nights, when you feel tired, cold, empty, you can know, deep down, that God is there, and that He will perfect that which concerns you. ©

Wholly Christ's: A Resurrection Message
By Melanie Kool

     Soft and clear, Jesus calls us: “Come unto Me.”¹ For us, He left His home and all that He had, coming to earth to lay down His life that we might live. He paid the ultimate sacrifice, to save us. Then He went on to defeat death and all that could try to hold His people back, rising as Prince of Life, triumphant. He won the ultimate victory, that we might share it. Soft and clear, He calls us: “Come unto Me.” The wind whispers it, dewdrops adorn it, and the flowers lift their heads as if to listen.
     Late afternoon sunlight slanting across fields of rippling green grass, shining through newly opened leaves and dancing apple blossoms, speaks of His love. Early morning bird song, erupting in joyous chorus at the dawn of a new day, speaks of His love. The moon rising in brilliant radiance, shedding its soft light over freshly fallen snow, seems to echo His words: “Be still, and know that I am God.”²
     “As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you.”³ It was out of love and friendship that Christ became our Savior. Taking on Himself what was our due, He proved Himself the truest Friend there could ever be. “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”⁴ He has given everything. It is His joy to give to His people.
     When Christ rose again on Resurrection Morning, it was with life and victory for all who might follow. When He ascended to His Father with triumph, that triumph was for us. Now before His Father’s throne, He still carries us in His heart. “Wherefore he is able also to save them to the uttermost that come unto God by him, seeing he ever liveth to make intercession for them.”⁵
     In the spring, we see the sun melt the ice, freeing streams to run again. We see an abundance of new life burst forth all around us. This is a picture of what Christ can bring to our hearts. As one “anointed with the oil of gladness,”⁶ He offers life to the fullest extent.
     Soft and clear from an open pathway, Jesus calls. “Come unto Me.” It is a call to discover more. The way is ever open, for we are His treasure, ransomed with the price of His own blood. Out of limitless abundance, He waits to meet our every need and go beyond. Whatever He leads us through, He ever shepherds us into the fullness of His plan with the promise, “And thou shalt know that I am the Lord: for they shall not be ashamed that wait for me.”⁷
     Soft and clear, we hear His voice. Laying down the treasures of our hearts, we find the unsurpassable treasure of Jesus Christ. Simply and freely withholding nothing, we find everything.
     Radiant clouds, parting to let the sun burst forth in glory, tell of His greatness. Mighty ocean waves, thundering in to break on the shore, join in worshipping the Creator. Brilliant leaves, budding against a blue sky on a windswept day, lift up a welcome to the returning King. “Worthy art Thou, O Lamb of God.”⁸ ©

     ¹ Matthew 11:28.
     ² Psalm 46:10.
     ³ John 15:9..
     ⁴ John 15:13
     ⁵ Hebrews 7:25.
     ⁶ Psalm 45:7.
     ⁷ Isaiah 49:23.
     ⁸ Revelation 5.

Is There Life After High School?
By Audra Thrower

     Graduation. A day filled with excitement, family, and fun. But underneath it all lies the question, “What happens next?” With thousands of possibilities in the world, which one should you choose?
     I would like to take a moment and tell you in a few words the path I have chosen.
     I graduated in May of 2002, and I am very busy with my “higher education” J. Our family has chosen not to go the way of “normal” college, so I shall complete my studies here at home.
     Because I am very interested in home skills, and believe that God has called me to be a wife and mother someday, my mother has put together an extensive home economics course for me. I make at least three full meals a week (at least, that was the plan; I cook almost every meal J). I am now in charge of cleaning, hunting for recipes, washing muddy children J, and mega cooking. I enjoy it very much, especially the mega cooking.
     Mega cooking is when I set a day aside and make multiple batches of food to freeze. It makes food preparation easy, and helps out when in a pinch. For example, on a given day I make fifteen loaves of bread and five pizza crusts. Then we have pizza for supper – yum!
     Another aspect of my home economics course is teaching younger siblings (or child training J). I share the teaching of my younger brother with my dad. I teach my brother math one or two days a week. It is really fun to see how he is learning! Teaching my brother also lightens my mother’s load so she is free to teach the other children and run the household.
     Here are some suggestions for the new graduate, or for those approaching that milestone:

1. Write down the things that you are interested in.

2. Talk over your list with your parents. They have lived longer than you and can give you many helpful insights for the future.

3. Pray about your choice(s).

4. Come back to your list after a week or so and reevaluate what you have written. You would be surprised at what can change!

5. Choose from your list a few of the items that you are most interested in.

May God bless you in this important time in your life! Keep your eyes on the Lord. ©

Graduation and Beyond
By Sarah Knecht

     The night of May 4, 2002, was one of the most special nights of my life. That was the night I donned the cap and gown after twelve years of home school training.  As my father presented me with the Advanced Training Institute course completion certificate and prayed for me, I excitedly anticipated the new phase of life before me.
     Life had not just ended, nor had it just begun (as many young people might view high school graduation); a lifetime of learning lay ahead.  Now the “intellectual foundation” from which to fulfill my God-given calling had been laid. The books aside, attention could now be directed to the responsibilities and priorities of womanhood.  The application phase had begun.  Graduation was for me an electrifying culmination of years of study and an exciting continuation of a life for the glory of God.

Finding Your Place: being vs. doing
     In the eyes of others, the “what are you going to do?” question often overshadows the all-important “who are you?” question. What you choose to do reflects who you are – the inner character you’ve built during life before high school graduation.
     What is the difference between the student who sees her future as the continued fulfillment of Christ’s call on her life, and the student whose life reflects the world’s way of thinking? One lives for and in Christ alone. The other merely added Him to her daily palette of “things to do”.
     The personal commitments you have made to your Lord as His follower during your school years will now take on a whole new dimension as you graduate from high school.  What will you do now? Will you choose standards that glorify your Creator?  Will you maintain pure relationships?  Will you continue to keep a daily quiet time even though your schedule may become increasingly busy after graduation?
     What you choose to do will reflect who you are. Of course, this principle operates the other way, too. What you choose will influence who you become.

Personally Speaking
     When I graduated this past May, I faced this same truth. I realized that who I am in Christ is more important than what others think I should be doing; who I am will determine what I do.  Increasingly, I seemed to be so barraged by the world’s opinion of what I should be doing that it could have been easy to lose sight of the purposes for which God created me.
     During the months before I graduated, I began to meditate on what it meant to be mighty in Spirit. I knew that as God’s child the Holy Spirit indwells me, but what does it mean to be mighty in Him?  As I prayed and studied, I discovered certain aspects of becoming mighty in spirit. These include:

• being mature in conscience by having a conscience void of offense toward God and man

• being strong in faith by knowing what God desires for my life and making decisions accordingly

• being steadfast in love by loving beyond the comprehension of the mind

• being energetic in enthusiasm by becoming an energy-giver (results of a joyful spirit and clear life purpose)

• being dynamic in drive by being so filled with God’s Spirit that rivers of living water flow out of my innermost being to others (see John 7:38 and Luke 11:13)

• being alert in sensitivity by discerning and obeying the Holy Spirit’s prompting

• being keen in discernment by judging good and evil according to God’s standard

• being rich in wisdom by searching out the deep truths of God’s Word

     I do not yet fully understand or apply these, but I see that this is what God desires me as His child to become. He had to show me who He wanted me to be before revealing what He wanted me to do.

Finding Your Place: doing
     It is so important to plan your activities according to your purpose in life! God has general purposes for His people, and a specific purpose for every event in your life. We discover the latter by faithfully performing the former.
     Remember to go forth with the attitude of a giver.  The Lord Jesus came to earth to give all He had, and “as He is, so also are we in this world” (1 John 4:17).  One way to serve with the attitude of a giver is within your own family. You are still part of your family, so find a way to “pay dividends” for their investment in you. Give back “with interest” to those who have helped make you successful!
     And expect to take time to pray, seek the Lord, and adjust.
     So how do you choose your activities? When you define your purpose in life and seek to return the blessing your family has been to you, your activities will seem almost to choose themselves.

Personally Speaking
     The question of “what am I going to do?” kept swirling around in my mind, and when an answer didn’t just appear, I began to worry.  However, the Lord gave me special Scripture passages that applied directly to me. He also led my parents and others to give me wise counsel.
     After much prayer and thought, I began to consider the following questions: What gifts has the Lord given me? What specific group of people am I burdened for? What are my deep-down desires?  What are my hobbies? What are past activities I enjoyed or didn’t enjoy and why? What have I always liked doing? What are some “common threads” of my activities?
     These thoughts and other factors helped me to sit down and write out a life purpose statement, which I share here for the benefit of those who might find it helpful:

I desire to motivate Christians, specifically young ladies and families, to embrace their God-given roles and responsibilities by my communicating God’s truth through writing, God’s beauty through art, God’s best through my lifestyle, and God’s design in my future home and marriage (Lord willing).  I desire to motivate girls to grow in Christ by encouraging them to establish Godly habits and adopt personal convictions/make personal commitments.  I desire to support my authorities and make my loved ones successful.

     Writing out a clear life purpose statement helped me to measure activities according to what I knew the Lord wanted me to do.  Currently, I am tutoring two home-schooled students over the Internet using my own program of English and grammar. Also, I enjoy tutoring my 14-year-old sister and 13-year-old brother.  We work every day together and have as much fun as possible, despite the many challenges we meet!  Also, I am researching material for a book on Godly character qualities.  It has turned out to be quite a project, and many people have helped make me successful in this endeavor.
     Although the new phase of “life after high school” is often uncertain, if you understand what the Lord desires you to be, He will ensure that what you are to do is revealed in His time.  As I discovered, you aren’t fated to flounder around without purpose.  God has a purpose for this specific time in your life.  With a life centered around God, a heart willing to say “Yes, Lord,” and time set aside to pray and ask yourself some questions, anything can happen! ©

Questions
By Lisa Bode

     “I graduate this spring, yet I do not have the faintest idea what lies beyond.”
     I wrote those words five years ago. I remember sitting at that desk in my room, surrounded by textbooks and assignment sheets, knowing that my goals for high school were almost complete, that in a few months I would take the college-entrance SAT, my parents’ prerequisite for high school graduation. If I got acceptable scores, I would be through the whole system. Take away the stack of school books. Take away the weekly assignment sheet. Take away the “home school high school student” status. And what was left of my life? What lay ahead?
     “I walk through the fires of uncertainty,” I wrote in my journal that day. “In a way I want to grow up, but in another way it seems as if the future is hurtling in much too fast…. I cannot hold back my completion of and graduation from high school – it will come.... Yet such an empty void seems to lie beyond! I have spent my whole life in a secure routine of family and school, only occasionally interrupted by minor changes. Now it seems as if I have jumped off the cliff. Where now? I cannot reconcile myself to the thought of finishing school only to live inactive…. Yet I have absolutely no idea what this next year will hold.”
     Five years have passed since that journal entry, years filled with growth and activity, with change in my situation and in myself. Throughout these years I’ve felt a prevailing sense of uncertainty and unknown concerning the future. But God has never failed to give clear direction and grace for the present.
     Admittedly my post-high-school path has been highly unusual. As of today I have practically no college credit to my name. The work I do is one-of-a-kind and hard to explain. My schedule is crazy. I wouldn’t recommend my life to anyone. But it’s the life God has clearly given me, and I rejoice in how He has led me each step of the way.
     During the last five years since my graduation, The King’s Daughter ministry has continued, giving me a new magazine to design every other month. Each issue always seems impossible at first. But God has never failed to complete a single one.
     My education has continued from home through a few brief structured courses, in topics ranging from Biblical principles to constitutional law to the history of modern Israel. But I’ve learned more through life experience than I have through textbooks and classes.
     I’ve been given the opportunity to work for a local ministry and research and write about modern missions and the Islamic world. And as far as a job goes, you could call me a private writing instructor, though the title sounds a little bit sophisticated for what I actually do J. This is the third year I’ve offered private writing classes to home-schooled students in my area. I currently teach forty-eight students in three classes and several tutoring sessions each week. That’s a lot of papers to grade, and a lot of faces to smile at! (See “Dream Teaching” in Vol. 9#3 for more specifics.)
     I still live at home and enjoy the joys and challenges of being with my family. No matter how busy my schedule gets, a little bit (or sometimes a lot!) of each day is almost always spent cleaning, cooking, shopping, teaching my younger siblings, participating in family devotions, and/or scheduling a “special time” with a specific family member.
     So a typical day in my life ranges from writing articles like this one to doing the week’s grocery shopping, from studying the Church in Turkey to grading paragraphs about skunks, from teaching personal narrative at a middle school level to reading Christian philosophy, from scanning and editing your beautiful photos to scrubbing the bathroom sink.
     For the last few years, this has been normal life for me. But now again, almost everything is changing. Even though I’m not specifically “graduating” this spring, I’m facing another transition. After this May I have no definite plans. Again my future could be described as an “empty void”. Again I’m struggling with uncertainty and unknown. Where now? What should I do? Where should I go? What is God’s will? What is His plan for the next few years of my life?
     Are these your questions also?
     Maybe you’re graduating from high school this spring, or perhaps that point is years ahead or behind you. But either way, do you feel as if you are wandering into a woods of endless possibilities, countless options? Innumerable colleges, degree programs, scholarships, jobs, ministries, mission trips, family needs, once-in-a-lifetime opportunities – the horizon that was once so straightforward is now filled with overwhelming details. The familiar is fading away and you face the unknown. You are afraid of getting lost, choosing the wrong path, or perhaps worst of all, standing still, doing nothing at all.
     How do you figure out which path to choose? How do you answer people’s questions, “What are you doing? What are your plans? What comes next?” How do you discern God’s specific will from a myriad of great-sounding ideas? What do you do after high school?
     I told you I could not recommend to you my post-highschool path. I can’t give you specific answers to your questions. I don’t know God’s specific plan for the next year of my life, much less yours J! But I hope to point you to Someone who does know. And I hope to share with you a simple message that is in the process of transforming my life and changing my dreams.
     I hope to also be very practical, to leave you at the end of this article with some definite direction that we can begin applying together today, no matter where each of us is in life.
     In fact, we will be so practical we will begin with pen and paper. Are you ready J?
     The question is not “What do I do?” The question is “What do I want in life?” Be honest. Don’t simply quip an answer you’ve always been taught, or write what you think I want to hear J. Stop and think. Search your heart. What do you want in life, if you could pick one thing, one goal, and leave the rest behind?
     Write it down on your paper, as clearly and concisely as possible. Then check yourself. Are you being true? You see, what you do after high school is directly related to what you want in life. Whatever you wrote on your paper will determine a great deal about the direction you take. So let’s examine where your answer may take you.
     Do you want to have fun? You can reach that goal by considering only those options where you will be surrounded by cool friends. A good college campus should work well for this purpose. Choose a major that sounds exciting. Be sure, however, that your study schedule isn’t so full that you don’t have time for a lot of fun. And if your expenses aren’t already being paid, you must find a decent job, preferably at an exciting place. This way you’ll have enough money to buy a cool car, nice clothes, coffees, and other fun stuff. Chances are you’ll have a great time.
     Or perhaps “fun” is not what you wrote on your paper. Okay, do you want the approval of other people? In that case, find out what they are expecting from you. Most will probably expect you to go to some school for at least some period of time. The more practical and sophisticated your major sounds, the better. Having a well-paying job with a nice title (or at least planning toward one) is also highly impressive. The most important thing is to make sure that you always look nice, that you always seem busy, and that you learn enough to sound smart.
     Maybe you simply want to be happy. That answer begs another question. What kinds of people or situations make you happy? Surround yourself with people you like, and pursue life situations that sound fulfilling. If someone or something doesn’t make you as happy as you anticipated, you can always try something new.
     Or maybe you have another specific ambition. Is your life dream to become a doctor? Medical school would then seem like the logical choice. Do you want to be a journalist? Major in journalism at a Christian college, and perhaps you could work part-time for a local newspaper. Do you want to be a wife and mother? Live at home or with another family so that you can learn homemaking skills. Interact with children. And wherever you go, make sure first that there are enough nice guys around, that you are bound to get married sometime soon.
     What is it you want in life? Have you read through the previous paragraphs and thought, “Something is missing. Something is wrong here.” You are right! If any of these are what you ultimately want in life, something is missing. Something is wrong. You may with time and effort reach your goal, yet you will still feel desperately unfulfilled.
     All of us want to have fun. All of us like to be happy and to make other people happy. All of us have specific interests and ambitions. All of us probably want to get married someday. There’s nothing necessarily wrong with any of those. Some of them are indeed worthy, God-honoring goals. But none of them should be our ultimate desire.
     What do you ultimately want in life? What is your greatest longing, your final goal? What did you write on your paper?
     There are many answers I would have written in years past. My first dream was marriage and a log cabin in the country with lots of kids. Then I simply wanted to go to an impressive college, become very, very intelligent, dye my hair brilliant red, and change my name to “Thacia Olive”. That was the life for me J. Next I decided I would rather be a novelist and write bestsellers. Then my life dream changed to working with children in the inner city. But when I was seventeen, and in the years since then, God has transformed my ultimate desire. And now I would write on that paper simply this: “Jesus”.
     David wanted one thing in life – to dwell in the house of the Lord, to behold the beauty of the Lord, to meditate in His temple (Psalm 27:4). Mary, Martha’s sister, chose the one thing that was necessary and sat at the feet of Jesus to hear His Word (Luke 10:42). Paul counted everything loss in view of knowing Jesus (Philippians 3:7-14).
     It is in Jesus alone that we find true fulfillment and happiness. It is in Jesus alone that we find the ability to work effectively, to accomplish things that really matter, to build relationships that glorify Him. It is Jesus who created us, who designed and fashioned us for His purposes, who writes our life plan. Compared to Him, all other pursuits are rubbish (Phil. 3:8), fading glitter, vain hope. Without Him life is meaningless, a downward spiral to despair.
     “…do not you know… that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price….” – 1 Corinthians 6:19-20. We belong to Jesus. He bought us with His blood. He is not only Savior; He is Lord and Master, and is calling for our unconditional surrender and complete obedience.
     Before you research colleges, degree programs, scholarships, ministries, mission trips, jobs – search your heart and decide what you truly want in life! All else will flow from your answer. And I hope so much that you will lay aside your goals of fun, happiness, approval, ambition, romance. I hope so much that you will decide, not based on today’s feelings, but on a commitment that you will renew every day for the rest of your life, that Jesus is all you want, that your existence will be all about glorifying and following Him.
     I hope that you erase whatever you might have written and that you write on your paper “Jesus”. And if you did write “Jesus”, I hope you circle and double-underline it J.
     But do not write it unless you mean it, unless today and every day after, you will surrender 100% to Jesus. Do not write it unless you are willing to give up everything and to accept with joy His will, even when it seems appalling.
     These are the words of Jesus: “If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate… even his own life, he cannot be My disciple. Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple…. So then, none of you can be My disciple who does not give up all his own possessions.” – Luke 14:26-33.
     Are you willing to take Jesus and leave all else behind? Will you follow Him anywhere? Are you willing to love and serve Him, whatever He asks? No strings attached? Your life desire is to do His will?
     Your answer may be no. Wholehearted surrender is difficult and frightening. Many people say “I surrender all” but few actually live it. So you can join the world majority, choose among your options, and go your way. But you’re missing out.
     If your answer is yes, it will radically affect what you do after high school and who you are for your entire life! If Jesus is truly all you want, He will be the final answer in every decision, the guide in every option, the determining factor in every choice.
     If Jesus is what you want, be prepared to be astonishingly unusual, earth-shatteringly different. Be prepared to walk a narrow and difficult path. But be prepared to experience the greatest love, joy, and fulfillment possible.
     Wholehearted surrender – saying “Jesus, You are all I want” and really meaning it – is a huge jump. It’s answering a call to discipleship that few dare to accept. It’s a risk. It will ultimately change everything about you. It may lead you into situations you never considered. It may turn your life upside down.
     A tremendous fear often takes hold of us at this point. It seems certain that once we’ve surrendered our lives to Jesus, He’ll drive everything into the ground. Surely He’ll send you to be a single missionary to Nepal, where you’ll waste away in desolation and receive Christmas letters with photos of your friends’ husbands and families. Or surely He’ll tell you to stay home and help your mom, where you’ll shrivel in boredom and receive emails from all your friends about their exciting college friends and opportunities. Or surely He’ll tell you to go to school, where you’ll perish in loneliness and receive phone calls from your family about all the fun stuff that has happened while you were away.
     Dear sisters, if you follow God, He will lead through suffering. Following Him involves self-denial and crosses (Matthew 16:24). But He will not drive your life into the ground!
     We know this from the Bible. He is performing His plan for your life. His way is perfect (Psalm 18:30). His paths are lovingkindness and truth (Psalm 25:10). He will work out all things for your good (Romans 8:28). He designed you for a purpose and knows just how He wants to use you and where you’ll be most fulfilled. He has good works prepared for you to do (Ephesians 2:10). He will accomplish what concerns you (Psalm 138:8). His mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:23). His gifts are good (Matthew 7:11).
     Jesus tells us in His Word that when He faced a choice, He chose to not withhold His own blood, His own hands, His own feet, His own life from you and me. He suffered personal agony and ultimate sacrifice to give us what He knew was best for us, what He knew we needed.
     How can anyone think that this same Jesus, who gave His lifeblood for you, will withhold the direction, the funds, the love, the permissions, the opportunities you need?  If He knows something is best for you, He will never withhold it. If He does withhold it, you can trust it was not best. “He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?” – Romans 8:32.
     A life with Jesus, doing His will and abiding in His presence, even in what you might view as the worst possible case scenario, cannot even compare to a life without Him, fulfilling all your other dreams. Only Jesus can satisfy, and He will satisfy. He will give you the very best at the very best time! Choose Jesus with the certainty that it is the best, most joyous choice!
     I said I would be practical. Choosing Jesus above all else and surrendering your entire life to His plan, whatever it may be – that is a very practical step and a prerequisite for all that comes after. It is a step that should be daily renewed.
     But what comes next? You’re still facing all these options, possibilities, decisions, right? The seconds until your high school graduation or another major life transition are still ticking away. You kneel in prayer to surrender your life, and you rise to do – what?
     Well, your life belongs to Jesus. He is your ultimate desire. So ask Him!
     But again, I do not think the question is, “What should I do?” When we ask that alone, we miss an essential point. Our attention is in the wrong place and we cannot see the true picture.
     When I face a decision, or simply just a day’s work, I ask Jesus three specific questions. These questions give a unique focus.
     The first question is, “Jesus, who are You? Would You reveal Yourself to me?” This question shifts my focus from my activity to something far more important – the character of Jesus. The purpose of our existence is to bring glory to Jesus (Isaiah 43:7). Without Him we are nothing (John 15:5). Without Him every work is vain (Psalm 127:1). Without Him life is meaningless, devoid of value or joy. No matter what we do or where we go in life, it is essential that we know not just about Jesus, but that we know Jesus! A decision should propel us to discover who He really is. Ask to see His power, His glory, His love (Psalm 63).
     I know of three essential ways to get to know Jesus. (These are not ordered in importance; all three are necessary.) First, study His Word every day. In God’s Word Jesus reveals Himself to us. Second, spend time every day completely alone with Jesus, seeking to know Him. Those who wholeheartedly seek Him find Him (Jeremiah 29:13). Third, obey His commands. Jesus promises in John 14:21 that He will disclose Himself to those who keep His commandments.
     Do you see the practical application here, the projects you can begin today? As you obey the directions God has given to all of us in the Bible, Jesus will reveal to you not only Himself, but also the specific directions you need.
     The second question I ask Jesus is, “Jesus, who do You want me to be? Would you mold me to Your image?” This question shifts my focus from who I want to be, or what I want to do, and focuses my heart on the One who is perfectly shaping my life, the One to whom I belong and with whom I should cooperate.
     Jesus does not want us to be amazingly strong, capable, and self-righteous people who will do great work for Him. That is how others are impressed, but that is not how He is glorified. Jesus is glorified when amazingly sinful and weak people, like me, lay themselves on the altar and say, “Jesus, mold me; Jesus use me.” (See 1 Corinthians 1:18-29 and 2 Corinthians 4:7.) God is in the process of making us like Jesus. (See Romans 8:29 and 2 Corinthians 3:18.) Molding requires complete surrender and necessitates seasons of sometimes immense suffering. But the world is then surprised, and Jesus is glorified, when such great work comes from those who would otherwise be such failures. It becomes clear to whom the credit belongs, and it’s not us.
     The third question I ask is, “Jesus, where are You working? Would You involve me in Your work? How can I be with You where You are working?” Jesus is at work in our world today! He did not create the earth, spin it into orbit, and sit back to watch. He is actively at work right now, doing His will, performing His plan, calling His people. “The counsel of the Lord stands forever, the plans of His heart from generation to generation.” – Psalm 33:11.
     And Jesus wants to be at work through us. He is searching for instruments to use, channels to flow through, weak beings in whom to make His strength perfect. (See 2 Chronicles 16:9 and 2 Corinthians 12:9.) His work is significant and wonderful, and He wants to involve us in it, in ways we can’t even imagine!
     Yet we tend to get so caught up in our little lives, in our current projects and selfish ambitions, that we never realize Jesus’ bigger plan, and never bother to ask Him what He’s actually doing in our world today. It’s my habit to grab a good work, make it mine, and go for it, calling out to God to bless me. Just yesterday I made this mistake with this magazine issue – sent a quick prayer heavenward, “Jesus, please bless me in my work” as I sat down to organize files.
     Then I caught myself. No, no, no. Since when is this my work? It will be quite the failure if it is. Jesus is not in the business of being manipulated into blessing our projects. He is about His thing. What are we about? “Then Jesus said to His disciples, ‘If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me.’” – Matthew 16:24.
     What is Jesus about? He prays (Romans 8:34). He loves (John 15:9). He serves (Matthew 20:28). If we start doing these three things for the people around us, I believe Jesus will begin to involve us more and more in His work.
     So what do you do after high school? What do you do at any point in your life? Surrender to Jesus. Knowing Him should be your ultimate desire; following Him should be your ultimate plan.
     Ask Him these three questions. Jesus, would You reveal Yourself to me? Would You mold me to Your image? Would You involve me in Your work?
     And then, only once your heart is right, then if you have a specific question, whether it be about a scholarship or a ministry, a family need or a distance learning program, whatever options you face, ask Jesus about that, too.
     But do not ask your questions while you pace your bedroom floor, or while you stare out the window in frustration, or while you search the web for scholarships. Ask these questions to Jesus; ask these questions kneeling down in faith that He will not withhold from you any good thing (Psalm 84:11), that to those who ask it is given (Matthew 7:7), that wisdom is generously available to the one who believes (James 1:5-8).
     Jesus will reveal His will to those who truly want to know and do it. Remember, He did not withhold His own blood. He did not withhold His hands and feet from the nails. He will not withhold the answers you need, of that you can be certain.
     He may ask you to wait. He may not show you everything at once. He may lead you down a path you’d never anticipated.
     But He will give you all you need for every step of the way. And you will find that His plan for you is perfect. ©

The Great Unknown
By Jennifer Schlaudt

     It was a glorious Saturday in mid-March – the day I had eagerly awaited for months. I was celebrating my eighteenth birthday with family and Mexican food. Amid the bright wrapping paper and cheery cards, though, imminent graduation loomed on my horizon like a cloud. “What are you going to do after high school?” well-meaning people had been asking me since I was barely into my sophomore year. I hadn’t known what to tell them then, nor did I know now.
     Others in my graduating class were more fortunate. Russell aspired to become a lawyer and had already begun some training with a local legal firm. Andrea was flooded with recruiting materials from numerous colleges, all seeking her remarkable marksmanship skills for their rifle shooting teams. And even my cousin Dave had committed to study engineering at a state university.
     They all knew what they were going to do; the way was clearly set before them. But I? I had no clue! The expectations and demands of society pressured me – a person my age was supposed to know what to do with her life! And I didn’t. It was time to face the “great unknown”.
     My parents and I felt that my seeking a career outside the home through college education might turn my heart away from God’s perfect design for women. It would also separate me from my parents and make it much harder to remain under their God-given authority. Yet, we realized that the Lord had given me a love for learning and a knack for written and verbal communication. What was I to do with these for His kingdom? And I might not have a home of my own for years – what should I do in the meantime? College? Home ministry? A cottage industry? Something that hadn’t even crossed my mind? I simply didn’t know.
     Despite the uncertainty that seemed to surround me, however, I had my Father’s promise in Isaiah 42:16: “I will bring the blind by a way they did not know; I will lead them in paths they have not known. I will make darkness light before them, and crooked places straight. These things I will do for them, and not forsake them.” This much I did know, and to this assurance I clung. I was blind and could not see the path ahead, but He could. The “great unknown” held no uncertainty for God, neither did it cause Him stress or intimidation. He had promised to lead me and to enlighten me and to never forsake me. For now, that would have to be enough.
     Having no answers to these pressing questions, my dad and I determined that I would take a free year after high school in which to seek the Lord’s will and find out. We would take no immediate steps toward further education or vocation, and I would have some breathing time to rest, pray, and simply wait. There was no reason to rush heedlessly into something that I might later regret. I could work on improving my domestic skills and help my mom in ways that were not possible when I pursued academics full-time. Here, at least, was the next step. After this year, only God knew.
     Now, on my eighteenth birthday, God began confirming to us that our decision had been the right one. In a conversation that was one of the biggest surprises of my life, my mom confided to me that she was expecting my sixth sibling! The gap between this baby and my youngest sister would be nearly six years – God had blessed us when we least expected it! Several weeks passed before I realized the significance of its timing in my life. God knew that this baby was coming long before we did. When we made plans for my year at home, we had no idea – but He knew! He knew that I would have been sick with disappointment if I had to be away from home when the baby was born. He knew that Mama would need my help to keep things running in our household. He knew that I needed to be home this year for reasons I had not even dreamed of! The Lord had led me to take a year off. He had sovereignly directed my dad to counsel me in this way for His purpose. I was in His will, and now He had confirmed it. What cause for celebration! My Lord was leading me in paths I had not known, just as He said He would!
     And God has continued to guide me in ways that I cannot fathom. He has shed enough light on the “great unknown” for me to take each additional step. Now in the midst of my year at home, I am enjoying all sorts of fantastic opportunities that the Lord has sent my way. I am cooking several meals a week, shopping for all the groceries and running other errands for Mom, tutoring my brothers and one other student in literature and writing, grading all my siblings’ school assignments, learning editing and desktop publishing through the release of a family newspaper, and seeking God’s will for the next step. Many of these experiences I never would have sought on my own, but there was no need to seek them – the Lord dropped them at my front door! The baby is due almost any day now, and my life should accelerate several notches after his/her arrival!
     And, only this week, my gracious Father has again amazed me with His perfect timing. After several months of unsuccessfully investigating potential distance learning options for me, my parents have received word of a new Internet program with a solidly Christian approach to education that will be getting underway in the spring. This program is exactly what they have been looking for in every particular, and it will enable me to continue my education to whatever extent the Lord leads while remaining at home. God has come through for us again! Another step in the “great unknown” has been lovingly and clearly revealed to us. I still do not know for certain what next year holds, or next semester, or next week, for that matter! But God led me into this place and He will lead me into the next phase in the same way.
     Nobody welcomes uncertainty. The “great unknown” makes us feel uncomfortable and out of control. We like to plan our lives and find direction for our steps as much in advance as possible! Have you ever considered, though, that if God were to give us a map of the path for the rest of our lives, we would feel no need for Him anymore? With such a revelation, we would go our way in our own strength, and He would be forgotten. Jennifer Lamp, in her wonderful book His Chosen Bride, writes that our need is one of God’s instruments to keep us coming back to Him. “Our need,” she shares, “is the most glorious possession we have outside of Christ himself.”
     If you are in the midst of uncertainty about your future, preparing to face the “great unknown” in your life; if you don’t know what to do or which way to turn – it’s all right. Don’t feel pressure from the world to know the rest of your life right now. God’s timing is different from ours. As you earnestly seek Him, He will lead you at exactly the right time in exactly the right way.
     Jennifer Lamp puts it this way: “Ask Him to show you the next step, and while you focus on stepping, trust Him for the one beyond that.” Rely on your parents to be part of that guidance, and stay close to the Lord. Remember that He works through little things to prepare us for much bigger things that we cannot even imagine! He is faithful!
     Some days are difficult, but no circumstances can alter the eternal truth of God’s Word or the constancy of His nature. He is so much greater than any “great unknown”, and He always comes through for those who remain faithful to Him. When doubts assail us, we simply have to cry out to the Lord, pleading for the very faith to trust Him. This is His promise to us: “The Lord is near to all who call upon Him, to all who call upon Him in truth. He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him; He also will hear their cry and save them. The Lord preserves all who love Him…” – Psalm 145:18-20.
     I can hardly wait to discover the rest of my life story. He has one for you, too! If your heart is in line with His, you can trust Him to reveal His story for you when the time is right.
     “Take a day at a time, trusting and obeying. God will lead you clearly as you listen to Him.” – Elisabeth Elliot Gren. ©

So Faithful to Me
By Rachel Prahst

     “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” – Jeremiah 29:11.
     The words echoed throughout the large church sanctuary as I concluded my graduation speech. On June 8, 2001, my home school high school days were brought to a close and “what’s next” began J. Please allow me to share with you the journey on which the Lord has led me since that day, and the hope and future He gives to those living in His will.
     My name is Rachel Prahst and I live in Strongsville, Ohio, a suburb of Cleveland. I am nineteen years old and the oldest of five (soon to be six!) children.
     At the time of my graduation I purposed as my life goal to continually work on perfecting my faith and to grow in the fear and knowledge of God. I based this on 2 Peter 1:5-11.
     My second life goal is to stand out and be different, a shining light in a dark world, an example of Him in all I do. Never did I realize when I spoke those words on my graduation night how the Lord would mold and change me and use me in the days, weeks, and months to come.
     When I was seventeen, my parents began discussing plans for my future. Now I must tell you that I absolutely despise change. Anything other than “the usual and expected” really bothers me! I think if it were up to me, I would have stayed a senior and been home-schooled forever! But, much to my regret, life goes on, and it most certainly has J.
     My parents encouraged me to consider college in order to pursue something that could always be an asset to me and benefit me in the future. They never encouraged me to be “career minded”, but wanted me to choose something that I could do if I remained single, or that I could fall back on to supplement my husband’s income if I should marry (if my husband were to lose his job, or be injured and unable to work, etc.).
     They advised me to find a course of study that wasn’t highly competitive, and a job that would pay well and could be easily obtained. Preferably my post-highschool plans would not only challenge me academically but would also prepare me for the possibility of being a wife and mother.
     For me, one of the hardest parts about choosing a college major was narrowing down my interests. I had so many options running through my mind!
     While I was pondering all of those options, every once in a while my mom would interrupt my thoughts with, “Why don’t you consider doing something in the medical field?” At the age of five I had wanted to grow up and be a nurse like my mom, but since that time I never even considered it. I decided that nursing just wasn’t for me – it required you to do too many “gross” things and besides, both my mother and grandmother were nurses – why would I want to do the same thing?
     But my mother persisted, and after much prayer and research, I finally decided to compromise and choose something in the health field that was not as involved as nursing. In the summer of 2000 I volunteered twice a week at a local hospital’s outpatient physical therapy facility and decided that I would choose physical therapy as my course of study.
     During my senior year of high school, I began to look into what local community colleges had to offer. At the community college level I would be able to obtain a two-year Associate Degree in Physical Therapy Assisting (PTA).
     We began looking at a college about forty minutes away from our home. I already knew someone in their PTA program and was able to sit in on some of the classes. From what I could tell, it definitely appeared to be a profession that I would enjoy. The pay scale and job outlook were not the best, but I thought I could sacrifice that for doing something that I enjoyed.
     My first semester at this college was a challenge for me. First of all, I got my driver’s license one week before school began (something I do not recommend!). My mother drove me for the first week of school, and I remember being dropped off and going to my anatomy lab – and it was all I could do to keep myself from crying! Technical Mathematics turned out to be beyond my comprehension of “hard” and included such foreign things like calculus and trigonometry. I learned what “study habits” are and struggled with my changing role.
     Spring semester flew by and was much easier than the adjustment period I went through in the fall. I was “in the groove” with my studies and enjoyed fellowshipping with fellow Christians that I was blessed to have in my classes.
     In March I interviewed to get into the PTA program. The head instructor knew I was a Christian and asked me some pointed questions, while also making some rude comments that disturbed and intimidated me. (If accepted, I would have to sit and listen to this man teach for the next two years!) In the interview I was asked what I would do if I were not accepted into the program. And completely out of the blue I blurted out, “I guess I’d look into nursing!”
     After hearing my own words I wondered why on earth I had just said that. My mom was equally surprised when I came home and told her of my reply. Faced with the realization that I might not get accepted into the PTA program I talked with my parents over the next weekend and decided I would go to the counseling office the next Monday and apply to the nursing program just “in case.”
     Two weeks later I received my acceptance letter into a two year Associate Degree R.N. program. I was amazed they had contacted me so soon – other people I knew had been on the waiting list for months and still hadn’t heard from them. I really thought I would be accepted into the PTA program and then that would be the end of the nursing idea. At the end of April I did receive a phone call letting me know that I had been accepted into the PTA program, but for some reason I wasn’t at all excited. In fact over the next month I was in complete turmoil. All I could think of was “what do I do now?” I did extensive research, looking into the pros and cons of both fields, and was rather disheartened when nursing started looking like a better choice.
     One day I was “for sure” going into nursing, another day I was “for sure” sticking with PTA. Much thought, consideration, and prayer went into my decision-making process. I wanted to follow the Lord’s will for my life, but was so unsure of what His will entailed. Finally, I told my mom I was just going to stay with Physical Therapy Assisting. It was what I had planned on, it’s what they announced as my future plan at my graduation. How could I change that now? Besides, I don’t even like change!
     After making my decision I still felt no peace, and the turmoil within me continued. Finally my mom arranged for me to go to a local hospital to observe a nurse at work and the next day to shadow a PTA. The first day I was amazed at how much I enjoyed what I saw the R.N doing. The next day I realized that for me, physical therapy assisting might become rather monotonous. It was an eye opening realization.
     That week my mom gave me a Bible verse that she had read in her devotions that seemed to directly apply to my situation. It is from Isaiah 30:21 and reads: “Your ears will hear a word behind you, ‘This is the way, walk in it,’ whenever you turn to the right or to the left.” – Isaiah 30:21. It became clear to me that God was telling me to walk in the way of “nursing”, but I was afraid to step out in faith and to give up the plans I had made over the past two years.
     On May 25^th, my mother’s birthday, I read the day’s reading from My Utmost for His Highest entitled “The Test of Self Interest”. I read of living a life of faith, stepping out, following God’s calling, surrendering yourself to God’s plan instead of following your own.
     “God sometimes allows you to get into a place of testing where your own welfare would be the right and proper thing to consider if you were not living a life of faith; but if you are, you will joyfully waive your right and leave God to choose for you.”
     I needed to surrender all of my PTA aspirations and also all of my nursing fears. According to Oswald Chambers, “We have no right to judge where we should be put, or to have preconceived notions as to what God is fitting us for. God engineers everything; wherever He puts us, our one great aim is to pour out a whole-hearted devotion to Him in that particular work. ‘Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with all thy might.’”
     After my morning quiet time I knew without a doubt what my decision would be and had an inner peace within my heart. That afternoon I drove out to school and purchased a nursing sweatshirt, wrapped it, and gave it to my mom as a birthday present, letting her know of my decision to choose nursing.
     Now here I sit, amazed at God’s goodness and faithfulness to me. My first semester of nursing school is now over and was definitely a challenge academically, spiritually, and relationally. God was able to use me in ways I never would have dreamed. Doors for witnessing and proclaiming my faith in Him were swung wide open, and people were actually coming to me with questions about having a faith in Him. I was able to befriend and talk about my faith in Christ with a girl who professes to be a Jehovah’s Witness.
     At times it is still easy to become discouraged, but God has placed me in nursing at this college, and He is the author of the perfect plan for my life.
     So that’s my life since high school! I’ve enjoyed studying nursing more than I ever thought I would. I’m also working at a clinical hospital site once a week. Nurses are in demand, so I’m sure I’ll have many opportunities to work in a variety of settings. And I am also getting a very practical knowledge base that can aid me in the future as a mother.
     But most of all, I look forward to interacting and impacting people’s lives and sharing the love of Christ that is within me. One of my biggest fears when I chose to go into nursing was that I would regret my decision. But, I’ve learned that if you’re walking the path God has chosen for you, there are no regrets! He is faithful, and His way is perfect! ©

One Step at a Time
By Julie Beach and Sarah McMains

Be still, my soul! Thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence
let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul!
The waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them
while He dwelt below.
– Katharina von Schlegel

     Sarah: As the time of my completion of high school studies drew closer, I was excited. I knew my future was in the hands of the Almighty God. Yet the Lord had not yet revealed to me an incredibly exciting, special opportunity. I like plans, but sometimes God says, “Wait.”
     By His grace, I graduated from high school in the spring of 2001. Around that time the Lord gave me a particular burden and interest in international ministry. That summer I became especially burdened with the needs of the people in Romania.
     So many options and opportunities are available – it can be overwhelming! The Lord showed me that it was not a matter of choosing what I would do next, but of finding what His choice already was. He would reveal it in His perfect time.
     I have at times fallen into the trap of comparing myself with others. Just as He has created each of us with different heritages, families, gifts, talents, and all the other obvious differences, His yet unseen plan for each of us is incredibly unique.
     In December I sent in my application for the ministry in Romania. In the meantime we were praying about what the Lord would have me do next. This was another time of waiting.
     How nervous yet excited I was when I stepped on the plane headed for Oklahoma City in March. I was on my way to teach character in public schools! Was this really what God wanted me to do? I felt so inadequate. But the fact that I was feeling inadequate in myself was no reason to not do God’s will. His strength is made perfect in weakness.
     God used that time in Oklahoma City to teach me more of Himself, to push me out of my comfort zone, and to cause me to rely upon Him in new ways! It gave me a whole new perspective on life! We were there in the schools to show the love of Christ, to be salt and light in a lost world where people were hurting desperately, people who need a Savior.
     How different my life could be if I saw each contact I had as an opportunity to make Christ known, to point someone to Him. This challenge that I received two days before I came home really stuck with me – to serve the Lord at home as I did in Oklahoma City.
     While I was in Oklahoma my parents told me that I should not go to Romania. What?! I thought that was where God wanted me. Though the challenges I had been dealing with concerning my health had been difficult, I had never expected them to hinder me from going to Romania. But I knew it was true, and I should not go unless the Lord worked in a miraculous way in this area. This was hard to believe and accept.
     As I sat on my bed the day I was to return home, in a special way the Lord strengthened my faith in His guidance and love. Did you ever notice the intricate detail with which He fashioned such things as pecans (a good-for-you snack J)? This same God formed the universe. “Lift up your eyes on high, and behold who hath created these things, that bringeth out their host by number: He calleth them all by names by the greatness of His might, for that He is strong in power; not one faileth.” – Isaiah 40:26.
     Think of the beautiful little flower on the hillside that no human eye has ever seen. But He sees, and it brings Him pleasure. This same Creator has designed my future. He knows. He has a plan far exceeding my own. I must now love Him with all my heart and trust.
     There were several reasons I needed to spend the summer at home, and I did stay busy with various projects. But what would follow that time, I did not know. It was a time of waiting, of learning to trust. I trust Him with the destiny of my eternal soul; cannot I trust Him with my future here on earth, in this temporal world?
     The Lord showed me that all of this was a part of His plan, that the seasons of waiting are of no less importance than the times of active and exciting service, for they are His perfect plan. As I set goals for the summer, I was reminded of Jeremiah 45:5, “And seekest thou great things for thyself? Seek them not...” That’s when the pressure comes – when I am planning and seeking “great things” for myself. That’s when I start to feel overwhelmed and get discouraged.
     Now God has me back in Oklahoma City, and I am so grateful He has brought me here. What a joy it is to know that it is His will! Honestly, at first it was hard to realize. He wants me here serving in seemingly small ways, rather than on some foreign mission field doing “great” things for Him? But who am I to tell my Master where I should serve? If I am not content and joyfully serving Him in the more common, ordinary ways, instead of in incredible and fascinating ministry opportunities, then it is not Him that I am seeking – it’s the exciting and extraordinary.
     What an opportunity I have of laying up treasures in heaven, serving Him where I am right now, in the ways He has set before me, with a right heart! Over and over again, especially in the stories of the Old Testament kings, He has shown me that He is the One who puts down one and sets up another. If my focus is on myself and my own dreams and desires, I will miss the opportunity I have right now to know and love Him more and to encourage and inspire those around me.
     How this short life on earth does impact eternity! I know that I don’t even fully realize the influence I have on those around me, whether it be for good or evil. I am so grateful for the Godly people who have influenced and inspired me through the years. His daily involvement in the lives of His children amazes me. He cares!
     His ways and thoughts are so far above my own, and He has truly done exceedingly abundantly above all that I could ask or think. He has used circumstances that I would never have chosen to show me that this is where He wants me, and I wouldn’t change it for anything. I don’t know how in the future He will use some of the interests and desires He has given me, but I do know that my way was ordained from the foundation of the world. As I read in my journal of the times I have struggled with doubts and fear of the future, it has been a tremendous encouragement to look back and see how each time He has remained faithful!

     Julie: “The Lord doesn’t plan easy, but He always plans good.” My dad told me this, and I have held on to these words ever since. I graduated from high school over five years ago, and I know that the way the Lord has led me has not been easy, but it has been undeniably good.
     Life after high school has definitely been a journey of faith. After seeking the Lord, I attended an eight-week course for young ladies. It was a great time to rely on the Lord and learn from Him. I returned to attend the next segment of that course the next spring, and gained many valuable skills.
     Then that December I had the opportunity to teach in the public schools of Oklahoma City. I taught in the schools for six months that school year. I learned to depend on the Lord to work through me, especially when I was out of my comfort zone. As I saw the Lord work in the schools, Matthew 5:16 became a special verse: “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”
     But all this was general training. How was I going to develop a marketable skill? My desire was to be a wife and mother, and my parents wanted me to have a way to supplement my husband’s income or to support myself if something happened to him. So, “what should I do?” was the question on my mind.
     There were many options – sewing for a decorator, teaching writing classes, tutoring. The ideas seemed endless. We explored several options, but nothing seemed to “fit” just right. Then I heard about an opportunity to attend a two-week course in proofreading and editing. I knew that was for me! The Lord worked everything together so that I could go.
     I attended the course and loved it. My goal was (and is J!) to become a free-lance editor from home. But “how do I get the experience necessary?” – became the next big question. We wrote letters and made phone calls, but no opportunities presented themselves. During this time the Lord led me to Isaiah 41:9. “Thou whom I have taken from the ends of the earth, and called thee from the chief men thereof, and said unto thee, Thou art my servant; I have chosen thee, and not cast thee away.”
     Knowing that God had chosen me was a great comfort in that time, and helped me to be content. While I loved being home, I wanted to continue on the path I knew the Lord had for me.
     Then the Lord opened a door for me to go back to Oklahoma City. One of my main responsibilities when I arrived was to put away food and clean tables after breakfast and lunch. The Lord used this to turn my focus to meditating on His Word, and to teach me some of what it means to really be a servant and to serve Him. Am I content to do the “unseen” things for Him? Or am I only willing and excited about doing those things that others will see and notice, that are appealing and exciting? Is what He did for me worth it? Yes! Can He give you the grace to wipe tables (or anything else) for Him? Yes.
     During my time in Oklahoma, the Lord impressed upon my family His calling me to go to Mongolia. I have been blessed with another roommate who is from Mongolia, and I am looking forward to taking her home with me to visit my family for a couple of weeks before she returns to Mongolia.
     Right now my time here in Oklahoma will be over in less than a month. I have learned so much – about editing, being a servant, and leaning on the Lord for grace and joy. The opportunities to gain experience have been such a blessing from the Lord and He has given me confidence. I have also been able to work on some extra free-lance projects for a few days each month. I am amazed at how things are falling into place – I never thought six months ago I would be doing this!
     I don’t know what the next step is, but I know He will be faithful to show me in His time. He will do exceedingly abundantly above all we ask or think!

     Our journeys of life after high school have been taken one step at a time. Our Guide has always known the way. May the Lord direct your paths as you continue trusting in Him.
     “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” – Proverbs 3:5-6. ©

My Inheritance Currently
By Faith Martin

     Since I graduated from high school almost three years ago, God has led me on a unique journey. In fact, one of the lessons He has taught me in this time is that each of our lives is unique. We can’t compare ourselves to each other or try to be someone else. Psalm 47:4 says, “He shall choose our inheritance for us…” I have found over these years that His choices for my life have been the best, no matter how unreasonable they seemed on the surface.
     Do I play the harp, violin, and flute? Am I part of a blow-your-socks-off ministry in an orphanage overseas? Have I gotten two college degrees in two years for less than $100?
     I admit it – the answer is “no” on all three counts. I can pound out a tune on the piano, but I’ve never been out of the country and the degree is – getting there (and well past the $100 mark!).
     I have found in my life during these years that God is more interested in how I respond to the crosses He has given than to the gifts He has bestowed upon me. Responding to gifts (musical talent, academic achievement) is a natural outflow of doing something that comes easily, pleases us, and blesses others. And we are to develop the talents God has given us. But for many of us, God may be more interested in developing the areas that we might not think of as our primary gift. Why might this be? Perhaps it’s because we learn to lean on God and receive His strength when He has called us to something that does not come “naturally”.
     This has certainly been true in my life. Although I am the oldest of eight children, I never particularly enjoyed spending time with smaller children outside of my family. I guess it was the “been there, done that” syndrome. I was also quite intimidated by people with handicaps. Yet it has been in these two areas that God has given me my primary ministry and work at this time in my life! Has this been stretching? Definitely! Actually, there have been times when I have been totally fed up with what God has given me to do. But that could be why God has me here. He is teaching me to live the life that He wants, rather than the one that I want, and that will often involve laying my own will on the altar.
     It might sound kind of morbid to talk about our daily lives as a cross, but Jesus’ exhortation has always been wonderfully comforting to me. “Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest…. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” – Matthew 11:28, 30. Nothing morbid about that. If we are bearing the cross that Jesus wants us to bear, then He will give us rest! The cross He helps us to bear is light. One of our own choosing, borne by ourselves, would become an intolerable burden.
     So with that, let me tell you about the “inheritance” the Lord has given to me right now – His perfect plan for me at this point in my life. Although it’s kind of challenging to sort my life into categories, I thought it might be most helpful to someone who’s just starting this road to see how God has led me in three major areas thus far – home responsibilities, work/ministry, and further schooling.

Home responsibilities
     Ah, the home front! I have seven younger siblings. When I graduated from high school, I wondered whether or not it was “God’s will” for me to stay at home. Then I realized that God can give direction through the circumstances around me – in this case, through my parents’ wishes and the needs of my family. (Let me drop in a word about finding God’s will – asking our parents about various post-high school options is one of the best ways to find God’s direction!)
     The (almost) three years that I have spent here at home since graduation have been the most wonderful and the most difficult years of my life. Simply put, staying home to minister to your family is not the easy route! Why are so many young ladies who have been carefully raised in the ways of God rebelling? Because being an adult at home, surrendering your life to the will of God, is one of the hardest “after school” options a person can choose. And if we are not spiritually prepared for the opposition of the enemy, we will fall.
     Girls, I don’t mean to sound pessimistic. I love my family more than I can say, and serving them is a blessing. However, when the hard times come (and they will), we have to be able to lean on our own relationship with the Lord. Our parents’ standards and rules will no longer be enough to keep us from throwing in the towel and saying, “Enough of this! When does my life start?”
     I have the uncomfortable feeling that I’m making serving at home sound terribly foreboding. I can hear people saying, “But I’ve been helping my mom as long as I can remember, and it doesn’t bother me. Why should that change just because I’ve graduated?” It changes because we now have a choice. We are adults now; messages bombard us from every side saying that adults should be free to live their own lives! Thus, unless we can face the temptations of the enemy and say, “I know it is my choice – and I choose to follow God’s call to stay at home,” we will become bitter and disillusioned.
     Perhaps one of the most important aspects of this choice for me has been that it has clarified whom I am serving. I used to think that I was serving my mom, and I tried to convince myself that this was a good thing. After all, my mom is one of the most loving, caring people I know. Why, then, did I sometimes react (inwardly) to her requests? Why did I feel resentment creeping up when she asked me to do something? God gently showed me that the problem was me. (Surprise, surprise J.) An excerpt from my journal records this realization:
     “…last night the answer just ‘hit’ me. I’ve been trying to serve ‘two masters’ by putting ‘pleasing Mom’ and ‘pleasing God’ into different categories in my life. I had failed to realize that serving Mom and my family is a ‘subdivision,’ in a sense, of serving God, and that I am to work ‘as unto the Lord.’ Until now, I always thought that that verse meant that I was to do my work just as if I was doing it for the Lord. But now I see a whole new meaning in it. I am working for the Lord, not for people! Working to please a human authority will only result in discontentment and resentment, because no matter how wonderful a human person is, they can never fill your need for approval and acceptance. Depending on them for those things will not only leave you disillusioned but will also put extra strain on them, because that relationship was not meant to be the all-sufficient one in life.”
     And that, as Robert Frost’s poem says, “has made all the difference.”
     So, what do I actually do at home? In the mornings I help to home school six of my siblings. I also help out with the usual daily work of housekeeping, laundry, cooking, etc. Also, my mom doesn’t sew (one of the few things she can’t do!), so I serve as a “sewing tutor” for my sister Joy. I also play the piano for my family’s nursing home ministry.

Work/Ministry
     Often those of us who have chosen to stay at home feel a lot of pressure to “minister” – in every possible way but in our own families! Girls, we need to realize that the world will not always value or understand the priority that we place on serving our families. Part of this realization will take the form of humility, since others may look down on us for not doing enough and just “sitting around at home.” (Is that an oxymoron or what J?!) If God has called us to minister at home, we have to be faithful to that calling regardless of what others think of us.
     However, this certainly doesn’t mean we can’t do any ministry outside the family! There are abundant opportunities for young ladies to minister in the community and to other families. I have worked for two and a half years as a mother’s helper. This is a once-a-week job that has really blessed me as well as the home-schooling family that I help. I started this on a volunteer basis, but the parents wanted to pay me. Now that I look back, I can see that the Lord provided this source of income for me at a time when I couldn’t have had a full-time job.
     This year I also started working as a CAP (Community Alternative Program) worker one day a week (Saturdays, since my siblings aren’t doing school that day). CAP is a program in which handicapped people are placed with personal “therapists.” I work with a nine-year-old, and the whole experience has been a blessing!
     The reason I list work along with ministry is that they can often go together. Getting paid for something doesn’t mean it’s not a ministry. It just makes it important to keep the perspective of “ministry” as we work, realizing that this is a part of God’s current call on our lives.

Further Schooling
     Since I graduated, I’ve been taking courses through the Telos Institute International, which is based in Indiana. They offer both an associate’s and a bachelor’s degree in Character Development Services (a fancy name for counseling J). I have been working on the associate’s degree, and like I mentioned at the beginning, it’s getting there! Because I feel my primary calling right now is serving my family, I only take two courses at a time. The end is in sight, however – I’m hoping to finish at the end of this year.
     With today’s advances in computer technology, there are many options available for further schooling without having to leave home. I recommend Brad Voeller’s book Accelerated Distance Learning: The New Way to Earn Your College Degree in the Twenty-first Century for those who are interested in pursuing a degree from home.

     Well, that’s my story! Your story won’t be like mine. That’s okay! Each of us is unique and precious, and the Lord’s thoughts about you are too numerous to count (see Psalm 40:5 and 139:17-18). Remember that He is willing and able to lead you.
     Like Elisabeth Elliot says, if we poor, foolish sheep just look to our Shepherd, He is more than willing to guide us. May the Lord bless each of you as you look to Him!
     “And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us: and establish thou the work of our hands upon us; yea, the work of our hands establish thou it.” – Ps. 90:17. ©

His Perfect Love
By Havilah C. Worden

The last velvety petal of a once graceful rose falls to the ground.
A lovely young girl becomes ill.
A precious, long-awaited infant is born – dead.
In the midst of all of this you ask the question,
Where is God?
Where is Love?
Why?
In the stormy days,
When things don’t go as planned,
When hope is gone,
We tend to blame Him.
Why?
Why do we blame the One who said,
“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man
Lay down his life for his friends”?
The one who not only said it but did it – for you.
Do we not understand His Love?
His Perfect Love?
The love that sometimes allows inconveniences, sadness, despair
– for you.
We can catch but a glimpse of His perfect plan, and
We rarely can understand it, but
We can trust and watch the beauty unfold.
And when that rose blooms we will know that He knew best all along.
Will you trust – His Perfect Love? ©