|
|
The Fellowship of Loneliness
By Shirlisa Christner and Lara Bode
“That I may know Him, and the power of His resurrection,
and the fellowship of His sufferings, being made conformable unto His
death.” - Philippians 3:10.
How do we come to know God and the fellowship of His
sufferings? After much meditation, searching the Scriptures, and whining to the
Lord about my lonely condition (J),
I (Lara) believe that loneliness was definitely one of the sufferings of Christ
Jesus when He was here on earth in human form. There was no one even remotely
like Him — God and man in One, and no one could understand the burdens of His
heart, the life He needed to live, the terrible load of all our sins on Him
alone, and the death He needed to die. His lack of honor for the traditions of
men was mocked, His unusual birth circumstances were questioned, and He was not
welcome in His own town. Even His three closest disciples did not understand
much of what He said to them, and all His earthly friends deserted Him during
the awful hours preceding His death. I believe Jesus definitely experienced
loneliness, for Hebrews 4:15 tells us that Jesus was tried in every way, just as
we are, yet without sinning.
The Lord has taught me a lot through my loneliness, and
through it I’ve come to know Him in a much more personal way. He also gave me
the idea of writing an article about loneliness, as I figured it would be a
pretty good guess that many of you are lonely as well! Immediately, I thought of
Shirlisa Christner, a thirty-three-year-old sister whose name many of you are
familiar with due to her thought-provoking poems. So here are our combined insights, faithfully and patiently taught to us
by the Lord about the Fellowship of Loneliness.
Personal testimonies...
Several months ago, I (Lara) sat in my room looking out our
west window across the fields dotted with little farms here and there. I was
looking up at the Rocky Mountains beyond, wistfully thinking. Shortly before, I
had experienced the privilege of spending an activity-packed week with a great
friend of mine, who lives in another state. Naturally, I really missed her when
she left. Then I enjoyed a brief visit from another best friend, who also lives
many miles away. Both of these fellowship-filled times were now over, and my
life returned to its normal routine. Thinking about my faraway friends, I wasn’t
exactly sad, but I was lonely. Lonely — me? Yes! Surprising to many of our
subscribers and long-distance friends who imagine me as a popular “ringleader”
of all the local girls, I am nearly friendless, except for Lisa (of course), and
my beloved pen-friends and our dear subscribers. My family of course, is more
important and special than any friend could ever be, and I enjoy many wonderful
times of fellowship with all of them. Still, though, I’m the kind of person
who thrives on fellowship; I love to talk, to get together with other young
ladies, to knit or sew or bake with others. For months, I prayed and hoped for a
friend — I mean, just one. Was that too much to ask?
It was a sultry Friday afternoon in late July, with heat
waves shimmering laterally across the landscape. The year was 1982; I (Shirlisa)
was nineteen. A nearby community was hosting an ethnic festival during this
particular weekend, and the locals were buzzing with general small talk
regarding the gala affair. It was a period of my life which was mixed with a
combination of curious searching and loneliness, and though I realized that this
event exuded great quantities of empty frivolities and godlessness, I had heard
just enough to feel a stir to scout it out — thinking I would participate only
in those activities which were at least borderline or better (apprehensively
hoping that there might be a few).
Less than six months earlier, I had penitently recommited my
life to the Lord and was still feeling a bit insecure as I groped for a better
footing in the ways of God. Regrettably, the pull toward the world continued to
be very present at certain times, through work associates and friends whom I even
then recognized as being spiritually adrift but whose company seemed preferable
to the undesirable alternative of being without — of being alone. My conscience
stung as I considered the fact that my dear parents had never approved of such
worldly occasions as this festival in my growing-up years, and I knew that their
desires had not diminished, even though I was “eighteen and older”. I wanted
to honor them, and yet....
Having persuaded my sister to meet me at a specified location
after work that afternoon, we headed out unrestricted on our new road of
adventure. I immediately noted that I was lacking the anticipated surge of
exhilaration as the miles ticked by on the car’s odometer, but I was certain
that “the thrill” would soon happen automatically when we arrived at our
destination and became a part of the excitement. However, it never did — God
was on my parents’ side.
Some hours later, as the hot summer sun was beginning to ease
down towards the treetops on the western horizon, we pulled into the driveway at
home, the place to which I had always been able to resort as a haven of peace,
comfort, and safety, the parents upon whom I had always been able to count as
being trustworthy, steady, and loving. Inwardly, I squirmed as my conscience
began to roll: I had gone against my parents’ wishes and had thus betrayed
their confidence in me; I had advocated the ways of the world (the drinking, the
money-backed competitions, ungodly music, etc.) simply by being there as a
participant, however minimal my involvements may have been; and, I was no richer
for it spiritually, nor in the friendships I was hoping to gain during those
days of “social scarcities”. I felt internally soiled, empty, and alone. I
winced as I realized that I had bought into one of the Devil’s lies: that
fulfillment could be found in the friendships and things that he offered,
all of which completely excluded the precious presence of the living Christ.
Barely able to choke back my tears long enough to find a place of seclusion, I
quickly ran out of the house, hurried to the edge of my parents’ grassy
property where I flung myself down at the base of a giant evergreen, and let
wrenching sobs wholly engulf my troubled and lonely soul. I felt cheated and
unsatisfied, and so very desolate.
What God has taught us...
Nearly fourteen years have passed since that unforgettable
summer evening — an evening in which God so graciously met me (Shirlisa) as I
allowed the tears to wash earth’s dust from my eyes and the sufficient blood
of Jesus to once more cleanse my heart of its waywardness. When I left my
sequestered surroundings an hour or two later, I possessed within my heart the
assurance of the Holy Spirit that God would restore what I had lost amidst the
turmoil and disappointments of the recent days, months, and few years past —
if I would remain faithful to Him. Truly, He has. The seasons of loneliness, the
perplexities, and the disappointments (both past and still to come) did not
suddenly just float away into nothingness, however, following that memorable
audience with the Master, because there was still a divine plan that had to be
fulfilled and a foreordained path that needed to be walked. But a deep love for
God took root in my heart during that tearful tryst, thereby strengthening my
spirit for the journey that still lay ahead.
The thought came to me (Lara) as a shock. Philippians 3:10
expresses the Christian’s longing to “know Him and... the fellowship of His
sufferings”, loneliness evidently being one of those sufferings that Jesus
experienced. I could say, “that I may know Him, and the fellowship of
loneliness.” The fellowship of loneliness? Can there possibly be such a thing?
Aren’t “fellowship” and “loneliness” opposites? As I studied and
prayed about this strange concept of “the fellowship of loneliness”, the
Lord showed me that there really is such a thing; it’s a fellowship
with the Lord that is often deepened and made very close and personal when He is
virtually the only Friend I have. This is a very unique friendship — Master to
servant — but it is a wonderful and perfectly fulfilling one. My sad and
lonely spirit remembered that I had longed for a friend — just one. And God
had answered my prayer. He provided a Friend, just One, but a far different
Friend than what I had imagined. It’s a Friend Who is with me always, Who
loves me more than anyone else ever could. A great and true Friend -- the best
One I will ever have. I will readily admit that having the Lord for my very
closest Friend is not exactly what I had in mind when I prayed for fellowship,
but in drawing near to God (Hebrews 10:22), and telling Him my inmost thoughts,
He has drawn near to me as well. And isn’t that what we desire most of all
anyway — a close relationship with the Lord? When Grandma died suddenly last
January, I clung to these words from a hymn I’d recently learned called “Nearer,
My God, to Thee”: “Nearer, my God, to Thee, Nearer to Thee! Even though
it be a cross That raiseth me; Still all my song shall be, Nearer, my God, to
Thee, Nearer, my God, to Thee, Nearer to Thee!” May our “cross” of
loneliness raise us ever nearer to our God!
Why does God allow us to be lonely?
One of Shirlisa’s and my favorite hymns is “More Love to
Thee”, with words by Elizabeth Prentiss: “Once earthly joy I craved,
Sought peace and rest; Now Thee alone I seek, Give what is best; this all my
prayer shall be: More love, O Christ, to Thee, More love to Thee, More love to
Thee.” We know that God loves us, and when He allows us to experience
loneliness, it is not a cruel affliction, but instead an opportunity — even a
privilege — to join in the close fellowship with Him which can so easily grow
out of this suffering. My loneliness has greatly helped me in my relationship
with God, for I have learned to depend on Him for my every need — even for fellowship. Reading through the Psalms has convinced me that through
all the trials and hardships and loneliness of David’s life, his fellowship
with the Lord sustained him as he poured out his heart to God. I even talk aloud
to the Lord sometimes, and I’ve tried to make prayer not only half an hour in
the morning, or whatever, but a continuous conversation about everything, all
through the day (like the Bible says to “pray continually” - 1 Thess. 5:17).
I believe loneliness is a blessing (often in disguise!) which is sometimes God’s
perfect best for us to lead us on toward the likeness of Christ Jesus.
As I’m sure you have also experienced, I (Shirlisa) have
been in a crowd, surrounded by family and friends, and have felt desperately
alone. Therefore, I believe that loneliness is usually an internal state
of being. Like you, I have many friends, but very few close friends, and even
fewer are those with whom I feel close enough to share anything and everything
(the Lord and my dear family being among my primary confidants). In years past,
I often wished for a girlfriend who would fill that place as well, but maybe
today I wouldn’t be quite as close to the Lord or to my family if such had
been my opportunity heretofore. Sometimes God so wisely withholds even blessings
from our lives if He sees that they will actually mar the beauty and decrease
the full value of the vessel He is painstakingly working to create.
Though it took me years to learn this, and contrary to what
many of us seem to believe, loneliness need not and should not be seen as a foe
to be feared; for it is when we feel so utterly devoid of the presence of others
that we are best able to welcome and to feel the awesome Presence of the blessed
Saviour who knows, feels, and understands all things, and who knew loneliness
like none other has ever known. Remember, He “was in all points tempted
(tested, tried) like as we are...” As the social beings whom God created
us to be, we recoil from loneliness and frequently go to great extremes to avoid
it, never considering the fact that the deepest valleys of solitude almost
always precede the most glorious summits of success. Let’s consider some
prominent examples which Lara and I have found in the Bible:
Joseph: was ostracized by his older brothers through
jealousy; was sold as a slave into heathen Egypt, far away from his family and
familiar surroundings; was lied about and confined in prison for a number of
years; then became a mighty ruler and deliverer in Egypt,
being renowned in surrounding countries as well.
Moses: was separated from his biological family and
countrymen for most of his first forty years; spent his next forty years on the
backside of the desert; then became one of the greatest deliverers ever
recorded in history.
Samuel: was separated from his mother and family at a
very young age; grew up in the temple under the guidance of an aged priest
instead of in a normal neighborhood where other boys his age worked and played
freely; then became one of the greatest prophets ever known to Israel.
David: was first isolated as a shepherd boy in the
quiet hills of Judea where he taught himself skills crucial to the outcome of
his future, and also, where the groundwork was laid for the meditations which
would later be known as the Book of Psalms; then he led Israel’s
army to victory by killing Goliath; secondly, he spent time as a fugitive
running for his life, was separated from family members, lived in caves; then
became one of the greatest conquerors and kings the nation of Israel would ever
know.
Esther: was orphaned at a young age and lived with her
uncle; then was taken to King Xerxes’s palace (which must have been
frightening); then God worked through her to miraculously rescue the
entire Jewish nation from impending destruction.
Anna: was widowed at a young age; was sequestered in
the temple and dedicated to a life of prayer and fasting; then,
in her old age, became one of the first to recognize and prophesy over the
Saviour of the world.
Mary: was suddenly found to be with child, and was
likely faced with misunderstandings and false accusations from all sides; then
stayed in seclusion with Elizabeth for several months; then experienced
the honor of raising God’s own Son, and being able to watch many years of His
life firsthand.
Jesus Christ: spent forty days and
nights fasting and praying alone in the wilderness; then His ministry
began. Thereafter, His own brothers and sisters apparently distanced themselves
from Him; He was not welcome in His own country; He was despised by the
religious leaders, those who should have been His co-laborers; His twelve
disciples often failed to understand Him and His real mission to mankind —
they slept while He agonized alone in Gethsemane and forsook Him when the mob
came to apprehend Him; and finally came the blackest hour of His life, when even
the Father turned away His face from Him — “My God, My God, why hast Thou
forsaken Me?” -- all of which needed to take place before His glorious
resurrection and His triumphant ascension to live and reign as King of kings and
Lord of lords!
Apostle Paul: spent a number of years in various places of confinement, during which time much
of the New Testament was written.
John the Disciple: was tortured and left alone to die
on the Isle of Patmos; then he received the powerful Revelation of Jesus
Christ and of those things still to come.
Many of the Godly men and women since then who became
outstanding trailblazers as evangelists and missionaries knew much about
solitude. Often they welcomed it as an opportunity to enter into a greater
intimacy with God; to allow the brilliant searchlight of the Holy Spirit to burn
deeply into the innermost chambers of their souls, thus revealing every worldly
encumberment and every besetting sin which might ever so subtly undermine the
foundation of their blood-bought faith and love for Christ; and also, to find
rest from the cares, fears, and bewilderments which were such a large portion of
the life that they knew.
In closing...
Loneliness is simply a call from the regions of that which is
lacking to the Fullness of Desire, from the creature to his Creator, from the
soul to its Saviour, revealing to both the mortal and the Immortal that there is
not only place, but need for more of the living God and the divine fellowship
for which there is no earthly comparison. Therefore, as much as rests within the
Providence of God’s will and wisdom in allowing the presence of loneliness to
grace our lives (He knows best), we would do well in learning to embrace it as a
companion which will help to bring us closer to the risen Christ — both in
likeness and in relationship — “That [we] may know Him, and the power of
His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being made conformable
unto His death.” ©
Your Best Friend
By Lara Bode
Imagine this: It’s the end of a tiring day. Ten minutes
after your normal bed time, you slip on your nightgown and wearily collapse into
bed. It seems like only moments later when you are awakened by the incessant
noise of your alarm clock. You sit up, rubbing your eyes. Can it be morning
already? You turn off the alarm, pull yourself out of bed, and get dressed. You
notice that your brother has been up for a while already, and is in the library
studying his Bible. But you haven’t any time for that; you wake up your little
sister and get her dressed, fix your hair, and rush down to make breakfast. The
day flies by in frenzied activity: helping your mother, doing schoolwork,
folding laundry, watching the baby, and cleaning the house. During nap-time you
finally get a break and run up to your room, where your sister is doing her
devotions. But you’re much too tired for that now, so you sink into a chair to
read a book or write a letter. Then your mother needs your help again, so you
get up and help her fix supper. The evening seems filled with one job after
another, and you wearily plod through it, wondering why you’re so frustrated.
Does this sound like one of your days? For me, this sort of
day was quite typical! What was wrong? I wondered. The work I did seemed
pointless, and I was regularly frustrated and grumpy. A few months ago, I
realized that this was not the way I should be living my life. But what could I
do?
Then the Lord brought these thoughts to my mind: Imagine
that your best friend is a wonderful girl who lives close by. All your family
really likes her. Your friend wants to spend time with you and talk with you
sometimes, but you never have time for her. She suggests maybe talking on the
phone a few minutes really early in the morning, but you protest that you need
your extra sleep -- even a few minutes would ruin your schedule. She suggests
that you run over during the afternoon when you have a few extra minutes; your
mother thinks this is a great idea, but you refuse this offer also, saying that
you need time to relax by yourself. Your friend writes you wonderful letters
full of spiritual insights, but you don’t even find time to read them; they
sit forlorn in a stack on your shelf.
Would you do this to your friend? “Of course not!” I
told the Lord. But then I saw what He was showing me: that this was how I was
treating Him. He wants to spend time with me; He, the Almighty God, is also my
Best Friend, and He wants to talk with me, to fellowship with me, to let me know
Him. If our schedule or our sleep keeps us from spending time
with God, then we are telling Him that these things are more important to us
than He is.
So, I apprehensively decided to try getting up fifteen
minutes earlier in the mornings to give me some time in Bible study and prayer
before I begin my day. (Later in the afternoon or evening, I usually do a more
extensive Bible study.) It has made an incredible difference! Now I am able to
see all the work that I do as working for the Lord, and I am not nearly as
easily frustrated by menial work. I fellowship with the Lord all through the
day. Even though sacrificing some sleep, I am less
tired and far less weary during the course of a day, and my spirit is in
constant joy! For true joy does not come from pleasant circumstances, a relaxing
lifestyle, new belongings, or exciting events; it comes solely from a close
relationship with Jesus. And He wants this sort of relationship with you; all
you have to do is make it a priority in your life.
Consider these Scriptures:
“Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after
righteousness: for they shall be filled.” - Matthew 5:6.
“My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O Lord; in the
morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up.” - Psalm 5:3.
“O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul
thirsteth for thee...” - Psalm 63:1.
One thing that has been very helpful to me is reading the
book of Psalms. David’s words so often express the cry of my heart for the
Lord, and I’ve gleaned many insights and deepened my relationship with God by
reading them. Also, even though I do my most extensive Bible reading and
studying later in the day, there are many benefits that come from reading even a
little from the Bible and committing the day to the Lord before beginning a
normal day’s routine. The last two verses listed above also indicate the value
of seeking God in the morning. I would exhort all you sisters to keep the Lord
before you at all times! Focus on Him, talk to Him, and ask Him to make you “hunger
and thirst after righteousness”. He will fill you with His joy! ©
A Satisfied Heart
By Holly Hageman
When we first give our lives to Christ and accept Him as our
Saviour, all of Heaven rejoices! Our own hearts rejoice, too, because we have
found in Him the answer to the lostness of our souls, the joy of life, and the
purpose for living — knowing that our names have been written in the Book of
Heaven, our sins blotted out, never to be remembered again. What a glorious
promise and gift we have been given, Heaven now having become our home, and a
great salvation so full and free!
All too soon, it seems, the joyful journey leads us to a fork
in the road. The decision we must make -- which path should I take? Oh! The
roads are marked! One shiny, bright sign with attractive flashing lights marks
the entrance to an appealing, wide, well-traveled road marked, “My Will”. On
the other hand is a humble, lowly sign, planted deeply in rich, fertile soil and
green pasture, beautifully lettered and well-kept. It says that the road marks
the way to fullness of life, the pathway to joy, and the blessing of God. The
sign reads, “God’s Will.” The road appears to be narrow and full of twists
and turns. Unlike “My Will Road”, it tells of losing oneself and
surrendering to Another. It does not promise continual, sunshiny skies and an
easy travel. Yet, it claims that its way is the way to fullness of life. What a
decision! Tell me, which road would you take?
Following God’s will for your life is truly the only way to
obtain a satisfied heart. Following God’s Will involves surrendering
our own will. Surrender is giving up, resigning, and yielding oneself to the
power of another. Surrender to God is giving our hearts, wills, plans, dreams,
and ambitions — our very lives — into His hand and making God Himself the
sole pursuit of our hearts and lives. Dissatisfaction of heart arises when our
own wills rub against God’s Will, and our hearts pine after something earthly
to satisfy our heart’s capacity for Christ.
A satisfied heart is one that loves God’s Will and, beyond
that, one that loves Jesus more than anything or any other person. Other people
and relationships cannot satisfy the need in our hearts for fellowship with God.
Often we will look for friends or companions to meet a need in our lives. God
has designed that we should fellowship with one another and encourage, love, and
inspire one another in Him. However, God hasn’t designed for a friend or
companion to fill His place in our lives. He wants us to gain our strength,
assurance, and confidence from Him alone. It is the power and strength of God
that enables us to stand when all else fails. It is His strength and assurance
that empowers us to stand for Christ when we are in the midst of opposition. It
is as we find who we are in Jesus and how much He loves us that we can have the
humble, beautiful, strong confidence in Him that God desires for us.
Loneliness is an evidence of a sensitive heart. It is the
heart longing for love and fellowship. If we try to fill our lonely hearts with
a person through a relationship, we may find ourselves lonelier than
before and possibly in a place of spiritual compromise. Loneliness of heart is
meant to be fully satisfied by God. Loneliness can be quite painful, and at
times our hearts will cry out because of it. But if in our loneliness we go to the Lord and
ask Him for a greater filling of Himself and a knowing of His great love for
us, He will be faithful to meet us in our need and to reveal Himself to us in
greater measure. He is the Good Shepherd and desires to give us what we ask of
Him. He will lead us in green pastures and fill our cup to overflowing so that
we shall not want any good thing. The result will be that our sensitive hearts
will be found full of His tenderness for others in their need. His love will
prove to be strong in our weakness, and we will be able to comfort others with
the same comfort with which we ourselves have been comforted.
We can be satisfied in the midst of trials and suffering. It
is possible to have our hearts joyful, satisfied, and worshipping the Lord in
the midst of trials and suffering! [Holly knows what she’s
talking about! She wrote this while she was sick in bed. - Ed.] In fact, God
desires that we give thanks in all things! When a trial comes, what an
opportunity it is to offer a sacrifice of praise! If we worship the Lord in the
midst of a difficult trial, what a blessing it must be to the tender heart of
Almighty God!
Paul and Silas had just experienced a terrible beating and
were thrown into the inner prison, their feet securely fastened in stocks;
surely their bodies ached, and their backs must have been torn, bleeding,
bruised, and swollen. The prison probably was filthy, filled with dank air; and
rats could probably be heard scuttling here and there in their cell. We could expect men
in such a condition to be full of self-pity, grumbling and complaining, groaning
in their sleep; however, at midnight the neighboring prisoners heard Paul and
Silas praying and singing! What a testimony it must have been to the
other men to hear Paul and Silas worship God in the midst of their pain and
suffering. Acts 16 tells us that an earthquake shook the foundations of the
prison, all of their chains fell off, and the doors swung open! The presence of
God and the convicting power of the Holy Spirit must have been prevalent,
because the first words of the jailer, after calling for a light and falling
down before Paul and Silas, were, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” Paul
and Silas were able to speak the Word of God to the jailer and his family, and
that very night he and his family believed and were baptized. What a great
victory was won for Christ!
A great victory can be won for Christ in our lives when we
give our hearts and tongues to praise in the midst of trials and suffering. A
sacrifice of praise that blesses the heart of God will surely bring a lifting of
our own hearts, and the eyes of others will be turned to see the Source of Hope
within us. We can, by our joyful, satisfied hearts in the midst of trials,
direct the hearts of others to Christ.
Possessions or status cannot satisfy the desires of our
hearts. Only the things that God can do for us are the things that cannot be
stolen from us or taken away. He is the Giver of all good things, and the things
He wants for us are eternal treasures that cannot rust or be destroyed. Our
relationship with Jesus is the chief of eternal treasures. God, in His love,
will pare away at our hearts, wills, and lives until there is nothing we hold
nearer to our hearts than Jesus and our relationship with Him. Jesus is really
all that matters in view of eternity. Jesus is the Great Treasure, the Pearl of
Great Price! If we place our treasure in Heaven and give our lives to pursue
that which is eternal, our hearts will surely follow. “For where your
treasure is, there will your heart be also.” - Luke 12:34.
A satisfied heart comes from a surrendered life. When
we initially lay down our lives upon the altar, it is the beginning of a moving
of God that will bring us to a place of absolute surrender where He will move and
flow through our lives without hindrance. God will, once we have laid our wills
down, continue down the “hall of our heart”, touching hidden areas of our
heart and bringing them to light. Symptoms of unsurrendered areas will arise in
serving of self, seeking our own way, pride, anger, and sometimes jealousy.
These symptoms will help us to identify and surrender afresh all of our heart to
the moving and working of His Spirit in our lives. Our hearts must be willing
for this work to begin, and we need to turn toward the path of following God’s
Will. But even this turning is His work. “For it is God who is at work in
you, both to will and to do His good pleasure.” - Phil. 2:13.
Even if your heart wants to follow the road marked, “My Will”,
you, too, can be placed upon the road of “God’s Will”. Ask Him to change
your heart, to bring you to the place of surrendering your will. He can place
your feet upon the path toward fullness of life, joy, the blessing of a
fruitful life, and a satisfied heart.
“Now the God of peace, who brought up from the dead the
great Shepherd of the sheep through the blood of the eternal covenant, even
Jesus our Lord, equip you in every good thing to do His will, working in us that
which is pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be the glory
forever and ever. Amen.” - Hebrews 13:20-21. ©
The Art of Letter-Writing
By Amy Zander
I have used these hints in corresponding and thought they
would be good to share. I’ve found that after getting pen-friends, many do not
know how to write good, descriptive letters. My mom has helped me a great deal
on this article, so I’d like to thank her for her wonderful help and advice. -
Amy.
Besides developing your writing skills and improving your
handwriting, you can form good friendships by corresponding with pen-friends. However,
sometimes letters can fall into a continuous repetition, like “How are you? I
am fine. How is the weather where you are? Here it is cold. School has been
going well. I’m working on a report. What are you doing in school?...” and
so on; these get to be monotonous and boring. Moreover, with this style of
writing, little or no growth occurs. So the question, “How can I make each of my
letters informative?” comes up for every correspondent writer. Here are some
tips:
1. Be Descriptive! Instead of saying, “Flowers are blooming
here. They are pretty.”, say “Beautiful flowers of every color are in bloom
now. We have daisies, lily-of-the-valleys, columbines, roses, ... and much more!
My favorite flowers are daisies and carnations; they are so lovely and have such
a wide range of colors.” Share amusing experiences you’ve had, embarrassing
cooking mishaps, your thoughts and ideas, recent books you have read, and then
go into detail about those things. When you develop the skill of being
descriptive, your pen-pals will enjoy corresponding with you, and you will enjoy
writing to them.
2. Be Edifying! Building each other up is important.
Encourage your pen-friends in their daily walk with Christ, and ask them to do
the same for you. Share struggles and triumphs, special Scripture verses, and
devotional books you have found helpful. For a guide to what is beneficial to
your pen-pals, use Philippians 4:8. The things we are to think about, we are to write
about as well. It is such a blessing to have others encouraging you!
3. Be Clear! When writing, make sure your grammar is correct
and your penmanship is neat. Check for misspelled words. It is a big help to
always have a dictionary and thesaurus handy. Once written, read over your
letter to ensure that it flows smoothly and everything makes sense. Many
mistakes can be prevented when you take the time to read over each letter.
4. Be Faithful! Everyone appreciates the pen-pal who replies
soon after receiving a letter.
5. Be Personal! Many times there is the “pen-pal group
letter”. This kind of letter (a “Dear Pen pals” letter) is often cold and
discourteous, even if it does save time. Write to each pen friend, an
individual, gracious letter. If you are using a basic letter for several people,
start the letter with their names and include responses to their newest letter,
such as commenting on things they wrote about and answering their questions.
Pen-pals who write personal letters are greatly desired.
6. Be Yourself! Even when you’re corresponding with Christian
girls, there are going to be some differences. If one correspondent likes
football and wears a head covering, but you dislike sports and don’t wear a
covering, don’t be afraid to own up to the differences. Instead of writing
about things you have no interest or conviction in, concentrate on writing about
things you do have in common. Remember, there must be some similarity between
you and your pen friend or you wouldn’t have written to each other in the
first place! Respect each other’s different personalities and convictions, and
focus on similar interests, likes, and attributes. Nonetheless, if your friend
influences you towards evil, it would be better to drop the correspondence.
Always consult your parents if you have any misgivings.
7. Be Open! Be sure to write about yourself and your family.
It is good to ask questions, but don’t wait for someone to ask you a question
in order to share about yourself. If your family loves classical music, start a
paragraph like this. “My family really loves classical music. Since we go to
the library once every week, we check out books about our favorite composers.
Antonio Vivaldi is my very favorite; his violin concertos are so beautiful!...”
It is so much easier for your pen-pals to write to you when you talk about your
family life and the things you enjoy doing.
8. Be Creative! How fun it is to open a letter and have a
little gift drop out! One time my pen-friend Sarah inserted a packet of herb tea
in her letter. Here are some ideas for things to slip in: recipes, stickers,
attractive stationery, notepads or note cards, poetry, pressed or dried 4-leaf
clovers, flowers, herbs, small crafts (such as doilies or cross-stitched
bookmarks), and bright confetti. Also, for a feminine touch, drop a sprig of
lavender into an envelope and press. It will add a fragrant scent and a
Victorian air to your letters. Have fun coming up with original and artistic
gifts for your pen-pals.
Lastly, consider Colossians 4:6: “Let your speech be
always with grace”, and be certain to continually write courteous,
pleasant letters.
Using these tips as a guideline helps me to write good,
descriptive letters, and a letter well-done is satisfying. May these tips help
you to become a better correspondent! ©
|
|
