A Gift for Mother
By Shirlisa Christner

     The bright lights of the tiled emergency room glared down upon my weary frame without mercy, their intensity pounding away at my already-depleted reservoir of sense and reason. What on earth was this all about, anyway?
     I stared about me in wonder at all the high-tech apparatus lining the walls and counters, my nose simultaneously sifting through the vast and different smells so foreign to the secure surroundings of the farm home we had left behind just several short hours before. Doctors and nurses darted here and there in their uniforms, stethoscopes draped about their necks, patients’ charts in their hands. Would they soon have the answers that my family and I so desperately needed?
     My mind groped on, dimly searching for meaning in all this maze of unfamiliarity and concern. Then, as if directed by a heavy magnet, my attention was drawn back to the still, frail form before me – the tangible reason for my bewildering assortment of questions, the focus of my churning thoughts and knotting stomach: Mother. She who had been the source of my existence from the very moment of my conception and the one without whom I could not even begin to fathom the continuation of life. I had never known a second without her – geographically, yes, but always realizing that her reassuring role in my life was only a drive or a phone call away. Mother. What had gone wrong? And what on earth was this really all about, anyway?
     My eyes scanned her quietly as she lay on her bed without a sound, held like a captive by the cold, metal side rails as though she had neither the choice nor the strength to resist the restrictions of her plight and circumstances. She suddenly seemed so child-like, so unusually dependent, so unlike “Mother”. It had been she who held those lonely vigils at each family member’s bedside throughout the night as fevers raged, as ears ached with infection, as throats burned with inflammation, and as the nightmares offered their unsolicited contribution of horror to the darkness of the night.
     My heart wanted to break as I now observed this ever-dependable angel of mercy in such a state of helplessness – her dark, tired eyes silently imploring us for reassurance, searching our faces for a smile offering her the promise that everything would soon be all right, that she would soon be on her feet again, mothering us, loving us, tending her home, leading a healthy, pain-free life – something of which she had known so little throughout the entirety of her adult life. She had never been very strong, but somehow, she had always rebounded from her setbacks. Somehow, she would again – because she was Mother. She must! Living life without her was totally unthinkable!
     A young doctor came in, followed by a nurse. They spoke quietly in the corner. “Please do your work carefully,” the feelings cascaded my soul; “this is not just some ordinary human being. This is Mother – this is my mother, and my daddy’s beloved responsibility.” After a moment or two, the doctor turned and began asking Mother questions. She seemed drained, as though her mind were pleading with the world to leave her weak and weathered body alone. Her answers came slowly, contemplatively. I assisted frequently, hoping to prevent a mental overload for her.
     After all, it was approximately 2:00 a.m., and sleep had been a rather scarce commodity for a number of nights prior to this. Eventually, the questions came to an end; the nurse ran an EKG; and once again, I was left alone with thoughts – and with the God of my life who suddenly seemed so very far away. Would my faith withstand the darkness as I had always believed it would? Would my endurance measure up to my testimony of months and years gone by? And what would be the outcome of Mother’s life?
     As though hooked up to a machine, my thoughts began to flash into the past, rapidly flipping backwards through the slippery pages of time, reviewing a story which I had never thought of as having been written. My mind’s eye converged upon some chapters which I immediately regretted finding in the archives of my memory. Why could I not erase them? No, more than that. Why had they ever existed in the first place?

*        *        *

     It was late spring in 1974 – beautiful, my favorite time of the year. The location was central Michigan and the place that had been my family’s home for three difficult, but wonderful years. I was eleven and by then was feeling a strong tug toward the ways of the world – the ways of my school friends and the methods by which they dealt with their families and circumstances. Many of those children were not raised in strong Christian homes, as I had been. Nevertheless, a restless, wayward independence had begun to burrow a dark, ugly tunnel into my over-confident young heart, likewise taking its toll upon the well-being of my soul. This particular summer-like day soon revealed its destructive appearance.
     There were three of us working in the garden that warm, sunny afternoon: Mother, Sheryl (my older sister), and me. (The scene was still amazingly vivid to me – painfully so, I reflected wincingly.) Some days earlier, it had been tentatively arranged that Mother, Sheryl, and I would go down to northern Indiana and spend most of a week among some very close relatives. It was summer vacation, and this was something we had never done before. We were anticipating the impending event with a great deal of excitement. And now suddenly, Mother was informing us that it apparently wasn’t going to work out for her to go, after all. Therefore, it was automatically understood that Sheryl and I would not be able to go, either.
     Bent forward over my “endless” row of green beans, I felt disappointment mixing with anger. Why were Sheryl and I “always” restricted by whether or not one of our parents could also participate? Why could we not be permitted to go to Grandma’s or to Aunt So-and-so’s place without supervision, the way our school friends often reported as having done? The barrage of indignant questions quickly spawned a terrible churning in the pit of my stomach, and in one awful moment, my eleven years of age stretched itself to its full height and dropped a bomb on Ionia County’s quiet countryside.
     With a sudden sharp swipe of my tongue, I began to lash out at my precious mother, viciously expressing my disdain over the idea that all plans had to cease simply because she wouldn’t be able to go with us. Why couldn’t we go by ourselves (transportation being the exception, of course) the way other children were permitted to? In other words, why couldn’t we be “normal”, with more grown-up independence?
     Now as I sat there in the hospital room, there was no amount of medication that could have sufficiently assuaged the torture of my recollections. But my memory rolled on.
     My angry outburst finally ended with this question, “So why can’t Sheryl and I go anyway?!” Suddenly, I realized just how quiet my mother had been throughout the whole episode. Without looking up from her row of beans as she squatted down at a location diagonally in front of me, she very softly and simply said, “Go.” A horror of guilt hit me full in the face as I absorbed her response. Inwardly, my entire being snapped to full attention. In the same slow second of time, I looked intently at her face. She was crying. In an instant, I felt my heart melting into a puddle of hot shame and conviction from God. I knew all along that what I had been feeling and saying was wrong, but I pressed on, desiring to be “heard” like an adult, for a change (as though I really had the right to).
     I struggled for just a moment, not wanting to give in to the admission of wrongdoing. However, as I took another careful look at that sad, tear-drenched face and rehearsed the softly-spoken answer deep down in my soul, something in my heart turned towards the right. Remorse overwhelmed me. As tears sprang into my eyes, I heard my strangled voice choking out the words, “I’m sorry, Mom!”, and I meant it. We cried together as I sought her forgiveness.
     Not long thereafter, Sheryl and I were able to go to Indiana, as planned. Although we enjoyed ourselves, it was nowhere near as glamorous as what I had imagined something like that might be – because I missed my mother and dad. Strange, and yet not. In spite of our difficulties, we were a close family, and we loved each other. But that was the gift I had chosen to give my mother in that particular moment, on that day in our lives, for those unerasable pages in time.

*        *        *

     Now, as I gazed down upon my dear mother through the fully-redeemed and compassionate eyes of a grown daughter, realizing that her life seemed to be slipping away from us, I stung with the awareness that every moment of my thirty-four years of life had been like a tiny box in which I had placed a gift – through my words and through my actions, revealing either my love for her, or my love for myself. These gifts had the power to build her up or to destroy her, to make her smile or to make her cry.
     The outcome rested in my hands. My choices determined either the increase or the decrease of her happiness in the one and only life that she had been given to live. How much had Mother been benefited by my “gifts” to her – and how much had she been hurt? Going back and physically reliving those days would never be possible, but moving forward with a fervent heart and determination to give the best gifts I possibly could, still was. And that is what I purposed to do.
     Indeed, “regrets make poor companions”, but with the help of God, they can become substance by which we are taught invaluable lessons, thereby causing us to reform our ways into that which will produce the greatest beauty in our own lives and in the lives of those around us. Many years of wrong patterns may have already passed into history, but it is never too late to begin anew. By submission to the grace of God, new “gifts” can replace old and regrettable ones in the short amount of time that we have left with one another. Though mistakes will be made as long as we inhabit these temples of clay, a timely “I’m sorry – please forgive me” will go miles in making the needed correction, and in tying a beautiful ribbon on the box as we offer the timeless gift of joy to the hearts of those whom we love.
     It’s a moment in time, and a gift forever. Let us give ever so carefully, as though it’s our last opportunity — for someday it will be.

*        *        *

Appreciating Our Mothers
By Lisa Bode

     I did not realize how much I appreciated my mother until I was away from home for five weeks, the first time I’d been away from her for that long. Only then did I comprehend all my mom really did, all she tried to do, how much I truly did appreciate her – but unfortunately, how infrequently I had showed my appreciation.
     Our moms do such an incomprehensible amount for us. Starting when we are very young, they care for us constantly and dream of what we’ll be when we grow up. Then we start growing up and conflicts begin as we realize that our mothers are not perfect and forget that it is usually our own faults that cause our sad disagreements. Eventually we may begin to misunderstand or ignore her, and what should be one of the most special relationships in our lives is instead the cause of worries and conflicts and tears and headaches.
     Only in the last year or two have I begun to enjoy a close relationship with my mom and to realize how much our moms do for us and how much we need to appreciate them – and sincerely show our appreciation.
     As I fried sausage in the kitchen about half an hour ago, I thought as I worked that I’d come up with fifteen ways for us to show appreciation to our mothers. That list quickly extended to twenty. I’d encourage you to start doing each of these twenty things – make each one a habit. If you have a wonderful relationship with your mother, keep it up by doing these things. And if your relationship with your mom is in shambles, start doing these things and you’ll be surprised at the changes. These are in no particular order – just read them and start doing!

1. Give up all your expectations for what your mom should be or do. The reason many of us do not show gratefulness is that we expect so much. We expect things like the following: a mother who understands us, three good meals a day, clean clothes in the closet, a shoulder to cry on, ten compliments for every criticism, etc., etc., etc., and when we don’t get these things, we cry and complain – when we do get them, we accept them in silence. Give all your expectations to God so that you do not expect anything of your mother, and then let her surprise you with what she does give! I did do this one first on purpose J as it is the key to showing appreciation. Start here.

2. Give her a hug at least once a day.

3. Say thank you for food. Every time your mother cooks you a meal, fixes you a snack, or just does the littlest thing, say thank you! Two little words, but make them a habit and they will communicate a lot.

4. Remember her birthday, Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Christmas, etc. Give her a little gift or at least a card or a phone call.

5. Praise her character. Whenever you notice good qualities your mother shows – and as you look for them, you’ll realize she has them in abundance – then praise it! Either just tell her – “You show a lot of meekness. You’re a good example to me.” – or write her a little note.

6. Set aside special times to enjoy her company. It’s so easy to “not have time” for the most important thing we should be doing – investing in people’s lives. If you see your mom sitting alone at the table, or if you’re in the waiting room together before a doctor’s appointment, or if the two of you are riding in the car, take advantage of that time to see how she’s doing and build your relationship.

7. Write little notes of appreciation for her. If it’s been awhile since you’ve written a note to your mother, write one! Leave it on her desk, on her pillow, or someplace where she’ll find it. Just remind her how special she is.

8. Ask her opinion. When it comes to little decisions such as what to wear, how to have your hair cut, what color looks best on you, ask your mom’s opinion! Ask for it before she can give it unasked J. This way she’ll know you value her advice and admire her taste.

9. Talk to her. Enjoy talking to your mother just like you enjoy talking to a friend. It’s amazing how you can live in the same house as someone and yet go days without saying much more than “pass the butter”. Talk!

10. Share her goals regarding little brothers or sisters. Talk to her about concerns she may have for your little brothers and sisters and work with her to be a positive influence in their lives. Become like a team working together – whether it’s to teach your little sister how to cook, to get your two-year-old brother to stop sucking his thumb, whatever!

11. Remember to complete given assignments. It causes such a problem when our moms need to remind us of things again and again. Make sure you remember! Whether it’s something she always wants you to do, like making your bed, or a one-time job, such as putting the laundry in the dryer while she’s out shopping, remember it. Be reliable.

12. Do more than is required. Each of us probably have our own assigned work to do around the house. Do this work cheerfully and with a good attitude, but whenever you have opportunity, go beyond. If you see a spill on the counter, clean it up, whether it’s your job or not. These little things can make your mom’s day!

13. Show your mom that you appreciate home. Our moms work hard to make our homes an atmosphere of love and peace. And if you do not appreciate your home, you have a problem! I began to appreciate my home much more after I realized what unfortunate home situations so many in our world have. Praise your mom for the little things she does – hanging up a decoration here and there, turning on some background music, etc. Let her know you notice.

14. Never leave unresolved conflicts for the next day. Keep your relationship with your mom close by following a simple rule: do not go to bed at night if you are upset with your mom. First get it resolved. Do not go to bed at night if your mom is upset with you. Figure out what you did and ask her forgiveness. Otherwise you wake up in the morning with a strained relationship and it worsens until someone makes the effort to make it right.

15. Be the first one to suggest she take time off. Our moms can work and work and work and never take time off. So make those needed suggestions to encourage your mom to take a little rest, to go out with your dad for an evening, to have lunch with her friend, to put her feet up.

16. Say “I love you!” Three important words. When’s the last time you said them to your mom?

17. Evaluate your past actions toward your mother and ask forgiveness for every offense. So many of us have hurt our moms so much more than we realize by wrong words, actions, or attitudes we displayed years ago. Most likely our moms have forgiven us, but they do still remember, and it brings them such joy and gives such healing to our relationships if we ask their forgiveness. Think back to ways you offended her even years ago and then humble yourself to ask her forgiveness.

18. Do special little things that she loves. Fix her favorite kind of coffee. Rub her back. Clean her kitchen sink. You know those specific little things that mean so much to your mom – do them!

19. Avoid those little things that irritate her. Every mom has special pet peeves that we probably do not understand! Does your mom just detest T-shirts? You may not understand why, but don’t wear them! Or is it extremely important to her that you know how to knit? Learn to knit, whether you view it as a necessity or not. You may not understand why seemingly little things are big things to her, but honor her and put her tastes first.

20. Finally, praise her to others. Let others know you think you have a wonderful mom. Tell your brothers and sisters, tell your friends, tell your relatives, tell everyone how great you think she is!

     This Mother’s Day and this whole year look for ways to show appreciation to your mom. Stop wishing that she was more, or different, or like your friend’s mom, as is so often a temptation, and start being thankful for what she is. Give up all your expectations and ask the Lord to give you a new perspective of gratefulness for all that your mom does.©

Names of God: The Word
By Amy Zander and Mrs. Mary Zander

     The Word is most precious. It is God reaching down to sinful man and giving of Himself to instruct us in all that pertains to life. The Word is Jesus Christ, God manifest in the flesh. We see this Name in Revelation 19:13 – “…and his name is called The Word of God.”, and again in 1 John 5:7 – “For there are three that bear record in heaven, the Father, the Word, and the Holy Ghost: and these three are one.” God, as the Word, spoke through the prophets of the Old and New Testaments to leave His words as a written eternal record for us, so that we may know how to please Him in all things.
     Just as Jesus Christ, the Word, created everything in the universe (see John 1:1-3), His words bring life to us today. Without the Word of God we have no life. John 6:63 says, “It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life.” And in John 6:68 as the multitudes turned away from following Jesus, Peter declared, “...Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast the words of eternal life.” It is impossible to reverence the Lord and yet dishonor the Bible, they are inseparable. The Bible, God’s Holy Word, and Jesus are one, for He is the Word and the Word is God!
     The Word is powerful! As Jesus compassionately ministered to the needy, the authority of His word was established (Luke 4:36). We learn from Hebrews 4:12 that His Word “...is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.” We also have overcoming power as children of the King! The “...word of God abideth in you, and ye have overcome the wicked one.” - 1 John 2:14.
     The Word as light illuminates our path as well as uncovers and reveals our inner selves. Psalm 119:105 declares, “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.” A.J. Gordon said, “If you are willing to choose the seeming darkness of faith instead of the illumination of reason, wonderful light will break out upon you from the Word of God.”
     Psalm 119:18 and 130 beautifully parallel this: “Open thou mine eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of thy law…. The entrance of thy words giveth light; it giveth understanding unto the simple.” If we have faith and believe the Word, we will have light. Notice in 1 Thessalonians 2:13, that only if you believe will the Word of God work effectually in you. “… the word of God, which effectually worketh also in you that believe.” (Emphasis added.)
     The Word is the truth which sanctifies and cleanses us, setting us on the path of righteousness. Jesus said, “Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you.” - John 15:3. By “...taking heed thereto according to thy word.” (Psalm 119:9), we are kept pure. Jesus prayed to His Father in John 17:17, “Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth.” And Christ our Saviour loved us and gave Himself for the Church so “...he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word… not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.” - Ephesians 5:26-27.
     The Word nourishes us. “And Jesus answered him, saying, It is written, That man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God.” - Luke 4:4 (emphasis added).  And we see, in the words penned by David, our need to memorize and meditate upon the Word: “Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.” - Psalm 119:11; see also Colossians 3:16.
     Do we truly love, obey and delight in the Word? Jeremiah wrote, “Thy words were found, and I did eat them; and thy word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of mine heart” (15:16). We should desire the Word that we might grow by it, and study to show ourselves approved unto God, unashamed and rightly dividing the truth (1 Pet. 2:2 and 2 Tim. 2:15).
     We should desire to have the zeal Martin Luther expressed when he remarked, “I study my Bible as I gather apples. First, I shake the whole tree that the ripest may fall. Then I shake each limb, and when I have shaken each limb, I shake each branch and every twig. Then I look under every leaf.” David, the man after God’s own heart, proclaimed in Psalm 119:140, “Thy word is very pure: therefore thy servant loveth it.”
     Showing our love for our Saviour is done by keeping His words (see John 14:23-24). God has exalted His Word, and we should do the same in love! Psalm 138:2 says, “I will worship toward thy holy temple, and praise thy name for thy lovingkindness and for thy truth: for thou hast magnified thy word above all thy name.”
     The Word is eternal (Psalm 119:89). We need never fear its ruin or decease. The Word stands firm and triumphs against the foes of God! We have been born again “...not of corruptible seed, but of incorruptible, by the word of God, which liveth and abideth for ever.” - 1 Peter 1:23.
     God wonderfully provided a way for His children to fellowship with Him, through the Word! God has given us the preserved Word, so that we have all we need that pertains to life and Godliness.©

Faith
By Jordana Marion, with Lara Bode

     “And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.” – Hebrews 11:6.
     What is faith? Webster’s 1828 dictionary defines faith as “simple belief of the Scriptures, of the being and perfections of God, and of the existence, characters, and doctrines of Christ, founded on the testimony of the sacred writers…”
     Hebrews 11:1 tells us that faith is “the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen”. Faith is knowing for a fact that we trust in God even though we can’t see Him with our eyes. It takes faith to believe that the spiritual realm exists.
     There are many examples of women in the Bible who displayed faith. Without faith it is impossible to please God. God often does amazing things in and through those who trust in Him.
     One great example was Mary. Gabriel brought her such amazing news that she was to be the mother of the Messiah! She must have been completely shocked. The angel assured her with these words, “Do not be afraid, Mary; for you have found favor with God.” – Luke 1:30. She had to have great faith to believe what the angel told her. These are her words: “Behold the bondslave of the Lord; be it done to me according to your word.” – Luke 1:38. Luke 1:45 further verifies that Mary unreservedly believed God; Elizabeth says to her, “Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished.”
     Mary’s life is an excellent illustration that faith is believing in God, trusting His Word as Truth, putting all of yourself under His control.
     Trusting God brings blessing into our lives; “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord....” – Jeremiah 17:7a. Hannah was also a great woman of faith. She grieved for years over her barren womb, yet she knew that God was in control. She prayed in faith for God to open her womb, and He did (see 1 Samuel 1). The story of Hannah’s trust in God, His blessing on her, and her gratefulness to Him is an inspiring testimony of the rewards of trusting God.
     Right now in my own life, I (Jordana) am experiencing challenges which I know the Lord wants to use to strengthen my faith and trust in Him. I am getting ready to graduate from high school, and I am not sure what I’m going to do this summer or the next few years of my life. It is hard not knowing what God has for me to do, but I have put my faith in the Lord and am working to surrender my will to Him. I know that whatever God works out will be best and it will bring glory and honor to His Name.
     Hard times and challenges do come into our lives, but they do not have to discourage us! When we are walking with the Lord and fully trusting in Him, our faith can actually be strengthened during difficulties! Simply trust in His Word and yield yourself to Him.
     In my current challenge of not knowing what lies ahead in my life, it can seem as if I am blinded, not knowing which way to turn. But I know that God wants to use this to help me stay focused on Him – like a horse with blinders on its bridle, helping it stay focused on the path in front of it. God often does this with us. When He puts “blinders” on us so we don’t know what is going on, it can be easy to panic, but we must realize that God is doing this for a reason. He allows this so that we won’t be as distracted by the world. His desire is that we keep our focus on Him and the path that He has laid before us. Genuine faith takes away fear; “In God I have put my trust; I shall not be afraid.” – Psalm 56:11a.
     It is often difficult to walk totally in faith, but we can find encouragement in God’s Word. 2 Corinthians 5:7 tells us to “...walk by faith, not by sight....” Even though we often can’t understand all the things that are happening to us, God always sees the “big picture”. He knows and understands every aspect of everything, and is working every circumstance for our good. “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” – Romans 8:28.
     Even during those times when we think we understand the way our lives are going, we still need to live by faith in God. Things are not always as they appear. We must realize that we cannot rely on our sight for everything; we need the Lord who is so much stronger than we are. We can trust in Him!
     The Lord shows mercy to those who trust in Him; “... But he who trusts in the Lord, lovingkindness shall surround him.” – Psalm 32:10b. I am so thankful that I have the Lord’s hand to grasp, and His arms around me. All I have to do is call on Him for help. This is faith!©