Celebrating Twelve Years of Friendship
By Stephanie and Becky DiLella,
and Sarah, Karen, and Abigail Einwechter

     We date the start of our friendship to our first letters written in the summer of 1989. Since that time we’ve grown closer together with each passing year – not because it has been effortless, but because of perseverance and diligence. We would like to share the story of our friendship and lessons we’ve learned through it. Our hope is to encourage each of you to build strong friendships, especially in the area of long-distance pen-pal relationships.
     [If you are interested in developing your own pen-pal friendship, email editor@thekingsdaughtermag.com for more information. - Ed.]
  We want to encourage you to keep Christ in the center of your friendships and glorify Him in and through them. “Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.” – 1 Corinthians 10:31.

Our story...
Stefanie:
     Our friendship began in 1989, although actually we have known each other since very little girls when we attended the same church in Maryland. Then the Einwechter family moved to Pennsylvania, and my family moved to Virginia, and we didn’t see each other for years.
     In 1989, when Sarah, Karen, and Abigail were studying letter-writing in their home-schooling, Mrs. Einwechter thought writing real letters would be the best way to learn. So Sarah wrote a short letter to Becky and me, and we replied with an equally short letter. Although no one would have guessed it at the time, that was the beginning of a wonderful friendship.
     At first we were all reluctant to write, but kept at it because our mothers thought it was a good idea. Gradually we all began to look forward to sending and receiving letters, pictures, and diaries. After the Einwechter family visited my family in 1992, our friendship became closer. Letters were longer, and phone calls more frequent. We even wrote a continued story together which we kept up for about four years. That provided many hours of enjoyment for us all!
     Looking back over the years, I can see how our friendship has grown as we’ve grown up together. Last summer I spent some time reading through our old letters (yes, I’ve kept them all!). It was interesting to see the subjects change over the years. When we were younger it was flower gardens and our animals, then our continued story. In later years, we shared our hopes and dreams for our futures. Now we are as close as sisters, and are able to share all our joys and sorrows, as well as our daily news. Letters from Sarah, Karen, and Abigail always brighten my day!

Becky:
     Our twelve years of friendship have meant more to me than I could ever say. A special bond has been created. In name we may be friends, but in our hearts we are sisters.
     A real friend is always there, in both happy times and sad. “Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.” – Romans 12:15. Sarah, Karen, and Abigail have put this principle into practice again and again. It’s a wonderful blessing to have someone with whom to share your hopes, dreams, and concerns. Many times I have poured out a concern or trial in my life and received a compassionate letter full of advice, prayers, and Scripture.
     Our friendship has never meant more to me than it has this past year. I have suffered a personal loss and been in a lot of emotional pain. Through it all, the Einwechter girls have been there for me – weekly cards and calls, little poems, a verse of comfort. They’ve cried with and for me, and prayed for my healing each day. Their love and concern helped me keep going.
      Over the years, we’ve all changed and matured, but our relationship remains steadfast. Together we’ve been through trials and triumphs, joys and sorrows, laughter and tears. It has meant so much to me to have such dear, true friends. Our friendship is a precious gift from God and has been a real blessing in all of our lives.

Sarah:
     We keep our friendship strong by keeping close contact with one another. We do this through regular correspondence – cards, notes, diaries, pictures, and gifts. We’ve done special things together – like writing a long continued story (over 500 hand-written pages); recording tapes for each other; making journal books with diary entries, poems, verses, and pictures; and working together on producing sales lists for our goat herds. We call each other on birthdays and when something significant happens, and we’ve visited ten times since we started writing. We also pray for each other regularly.

Abigail:
     We have much in common with the DiLella girls. Both our fathers are pastors and writers, we have been home schooled, and we are part of large families with a similar pattern of girls and boys – we have three girls followed by six boys, then a baby sister; they have two girls followed by nine boys, then a baby sister.
     We all like to read and write letters. We also enjoy sewing, quilting, canning, cooking, baking, gardening, and animals. We especially like dairy goats and have written and talked about them a lot to each other.

What we’ve learned...
Stefanie:
     I think one of the most important things in keeping a friendship strong is putting your friend first. Always be willing to listen and offer encouragement. Even if something doesn’t seem like a big problem to you – if your friend is upset, listen to what she has to say and give advice if possible.
     Share helpful Bible verses with her. This has been a year of many trials for my family and me, and I have greatly appreciated the letters, cards, verses, and poems that have been sent. An understanding letter really does help!
     If you have a disagreement or your friend writes something that makes you upset, don’t sit down and write an angry letter back! Wait a couple of days to “cool down”. Then when you are calmer, try to resolve the issue peacefully. Often it won’t seem like such a big deal a couple of days later. But if you respond in anger, you will regret it.
     Pray for each other regularly. Remember that your main purpose in life is to glorify God, and try to do this through your friendship. “And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by Him.” – Colossians 3:17.
     Wherever God has placed us, whatever duties He has given us, we should strive to do our best and glorify Him – this includes being the best friend we can be!

Becky:
     Show love to your friends, treating them as you want to be treated. Always look to the Bible – it contains many verses about friendship as well as examples of friendship that we can seek to follow.
     Encourage your friend. “Heaviness in the heart of man maketh it stoop: but a good word maketh it glad.” – Proverbs 12:25. Be patient and longsuffering: “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” – Proverbs 15:1.
     The fruit of the Spirit should characterize every friendship. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance....”

Sarah:
     Show initiative!  In friendship, it is important not to wait for your friend to make the first move toward a better relationship. Do it yourself! Think, “How can I encourage my friend and make her feel loved and appreciated?” Then act on your ideas. If you have a quarrel, be the first to ask forgiveness – don’t wait! (See Ephesians 4:26.)
     Perseverance is another important quality in friendship. You must stick to your friendship through thick and thin, good and bad, if you want that friendship to last. Strong friendships are the result of hard work and commitment. “A friend loveth at all times....” – Proverbs 17:17. (Admittedly, some friendships are better ended, so if in doubt, seek the counsel of your parents.)
     We must focus on our friends and be sensitive to their needs. “Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.” – Romans 12:15.
     Forgiveness is necessary, because we sin against one another by omission and commission. “I’m sorry” should be frequent words in a friendship. An unforgiving spirit can be deadly to a relationship. Don’t hold grudges or allow unresolved problems in your relationship (Matthew 5:23-24).
     Most important of all is love.  Love encompasses in one word how we are to treat one another (1 Corinthians 13), and is absolutely essential to friendship.
     “Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law.” – Romans 13:8.

Karen:
     Having a friend many miles away is a unique and special relationship. This type of friendship requires work and attention to keep it alive and strong. Because you have little or no face-to-face contact with one another, it is easy to lose touch with your friend – “out of sight, out of mind”!
     Following are some helpful things to build and keep a long-distance (pen-pal) friendship strong:
   · Write frequent letters. Your letters should reflect your personality, interests, walk with the Lord, etc., and tell about your life. (Give accounts of everyday occurrences at your home and special events.) Work to discover your common interests and build on them! You probably won’t know what experiences she has had or all the hobbies she enjoys unless you ask. Always express a keen interest in what is going on in her life.
   · Send pictures of yourself, family, home, church, pets, etc.
   · Do special projects together. For example, write a story or article together, or exchange essays, poems, or stories you’ve written.
   · Call your friend from time to time. Also try to visit each other – this helps to cement a friendship. The more ways you can communicate and spend time together, the better.
   · Above all, love and encourage one another in the Lord. Share experiences of His grace and mercy in your life and in the lives of those around you. Pray often for your friend and her needs. Share with her your own needs, desires, and trials, and ask her to pray for you. Recommend encouraging books, and challenge her in Bible study and memorization. Keep the slate clean between you. If you have wronged or offended her, be quick to ask forgiveness, and work through your differences. Don’t focus on negative things and items of contention between you.
     Enjoy and cherish your long-distance friendships. And “see that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently” – 1 Peter 1:22b.

Abigail:
     There are times when we need to tell our friends that they have done something wrong, but we must be careful how we speak to them. “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” – Proverbs 27:6.
     With our friends (and everyone), we need to put their wishes above our own and treat them as we want to be treated. “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” – Ephesians 4:32.©

A True Friend
Havilah Worden

     Most of us know people that we consider friends – but how many of them are true friends? Do you have a friend that “sticks closer than a brother” (see Proverbs 18:24b)? Are you that kind of friend to others?
     Friendship is a gift and a responsibility. It is something we have to work on, and something we are able to reap from. Oswald Chambers wrote, “Friendship... means identity in thought and heart and spirit.”
     True friendship is not an emotion, preference, or feeling. It is giving of oneself to another person. Friendship, in essence, is love.
     God, as the Creator and Giver of friendship, set the perfect example of true friendship. In the Old Testament, it is said that God spoke to Moses as a man speaks to his friend. Moses is called the friend of God. (See Exodus 33:11.) God was like a Counselor or Confidante for Moses. He supported Moses and stood beside him. At times the children of Israel were angry with Moses, and several times they wanted to kill him. Even Moses’ own brother Aaron didn’t always support him. But God was always there for him, always standing by him, always encouraging him.
     Through His relationship with Moses, God gave us an example of true friendship. And more importantly, He illustrated the personal relationship that He desires to have with us.
     Usually when we think of friendship, we think of love. This makes perfect sense because true friendship cannot exist apart from love. But what exactly is love?
     In his best-selling book My Utmost For His Highest, Oswald Chambers wrote, “Love is the outpouring of one personality in fellowship with another personality.” This means spending time with those you love, but especially getting to know them and letting yourself be known to them. Nearly everyone has different sides or aspects to their personality. Your true friends will know your “other side”, and you will know theirs.
     Fellowship is important, but true love and friendship go deeper. Jesus said in John 15:13, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” Jesus demonstrated this love by giving His life on the cross. Now that’s true friendship! Just as Jesus selflessly laid down his life for His friends, a true friend will be willing to give her time, talents, abilities, possessions, dreams, and even her life for her friend. As Christians, we have that kind of Friend in Jesus. Are we willing to be that kind of friend to others?
     In 1 Corinthians 13, Paul defines and describes true love. This passage also seems to describe a true friend.
     “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
     “Love never fails.... And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, 13.
     Yes, this is true love and true friendship! What more could you ask for in a friend? What more could you be?©

Pilgrim Friends
By Sarah Knecht

It is my joy in life to find,
At every turning of the road,
The strong arms of a comrade
To help me onward with my load.
And since I have no gold to give
And love alone can make amends;
My daily prayer is, while I live,
“God, make me worthy of my friends.”
~ Author Unknown

     Having been blessed with wonderful parents, seven dear siblings, and two close friends outside my family, I have often prayed the prayer of this unknown author. All these dear ones have given me their strong arms and helped me onward through encouragement and prayer. Their unselfish love and patience are just a few of the many qualities which clearly mark them as worthy friends.
     What makes a worthy friend? Proverbs 27:17 says, “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” A worthy friend will point you toward Jesus as your Best Friend, and motivate and inspire you to be more like Him. When I am visiting with worthy friends, I do not feel pressured to impress or amuse them. Instead, I am free to focus on the Lord. A true friend will correct us in love.
     It is important to remember that worthy friendship is a rare thing. There will be the newsy, “Hello, how are you?” friends, the next-door neighbors and the Christian peers. But because of her rare nature, a worthy companion and kindred spirit will be a precious thing. I once heard it said that a man will be fortunate to have five or six good friends in his lifetime.
     To make Jesus our Best Friend must be our first priority. Spending time with Him in His Word and on our knees in prayer deepens this bond of friendship. Next, we should turn our attention to making our parents and siblings our best friends. These are the ones who know us best, and definitely need our devotion and influence. Then, if God so blesses, we may reach out to the fellow comrades whom He has placed at the turnings of our roads.
     When choosing friends, consider the model of John Bunyan’s classic allegory Pilgrim’s Progress. The tale of Christian and his fellow pilgrims Faithful and Hopeful is full of rich insights on worthy friendship. The three travelers shared a common purpose (to reach the Celestial City), and a common path (the straight and narrow one). Likewise, good friends should share high standards and an eternal focus.
     The pilgrims strengthened each other in the Lord. Remember how Christian and Faithful stood fast together at Vanity Fair, and how Hopeful strengthened the despondent Christian in Doubting Castle? On the Enchanted Ground, Christian stirred up Hopeful, and in the River of Death, Hopeful encouraged Christian.
     Along with friendship comes the responsibility of influence. When Hopeful saw Faithful’s bright example, he decided to follow the Lord. When Christian unwisely led his friend Hopeful off the right path, they were both taken by Despair. These examples are just a few to be gained when we think of friendships in terms of companionship on our pilgrim journey.
     The friendship of a worthy pilgrim is indeed a wonderful blessing from the Lord. Offer your strong arms to each other and bear one another’s burdens as you journey onward together.©

Making Friendships, not Cliques
By Marianna Orlando

     Friendship is a wonderful gift from God. Being able to call up a friend and tell her about a joy or sorrow is truly a blessing. However, I often see, in many churches and school circles, groups of friends that have formed a clique or an “in group”. Even a small clique can be a powerful thing.
     A clique has the power to bring hurt and loneliness to many who aren’t included. I know many have felt lonely, disappointed, and hurt from being excluded from parties, classes, and such. I’ve also felt frustrated when trying to make friends with the clique or “in group”.
     We have to stop and remind ourselves what vanity such things are. In the end, what do I want my time to count for? Will my works be wood, hay, and stubble, or gold, silver, and precious stones which cannot be consumed? (See 1 Corinthians 3:12.)
     I think that it must sadden the Lord to see His children bringing hurt to one another by not reaching out. Hebrews 13:1 commands, “Let brotherly love continue.” Are we really loving our brothers and sisters as we ought to? Do we love others as ourselves, or are we puffed up with pride in our own importance? Is the “in group” really the “in group” in God’s eyes? Do we have prejudice in our own hearts because we might believe a bit differently from someone else, or go to another church?
     Do we look down on others, thinking that we might be a bit better? Or do we shrug someone off as “not my type”? In God’s sight, no person is more valuable than any other. God looks at the inside, not the outward appearance. 1 Samuel 16:7 says, “...for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.”
     Stop and ask yourselves, “Am I in a clique or an ‘in group’ that is leaving others out?” I know that many do not even realize that this is happening, or that there are others being left out. But I would like to encourage you to look around and ask the Lord to show you the ones who may not be included in much, the ones who might be lonely. Even if they do not share all your convictions, they may be open and willing, and the Lord may use you as an example in their lives.
     Of course we will always have some friends who are closer than others, some who are really kindred spirits and with whom we find true fellowship. But I believe it is God’s will that we also extend a hand of friendship to those we may not know as well.
     So I encourage you to make sure that you and your friends are not forming cliques and leaving others out. If you are in a group visiting with friends, look around and see if there is anyone standing alone. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you anywhere in your life where you might have erred in this area. Pray that the Lord would give you His eyes to look around you and His love to extend a hand of true Christian friendship.©

Hospitality for Hypocrites vs. Community for Christians
By Linda Weikert

     Today is my deadline for this article on hospitality. After opting for a good night’s sleep, I dismissed the idea of writing in the wee hours of the morning. So with my day before me, I started with a wonderful Bible time with five of our daughters and one son. We moved on to chores which I was determined to direct, walking in the Spirit, and it went very well. I was fast moving toward the children’s playtime and my writing time when a phone call from a widow in our church stopped forward motion.
     She was wanting to come for the afternoon, and I couldn’t really tell her, “No, not today. I need to work on an article about hospitality.” So instead, I said (walking in the Spirit), “Yes, it would be fine for you to come for the afternoon.”
     And so goes the entire month. Much of our company has been by invitation as a natural response to needs, friendship, and fellowship. All has been sandwiched in during my husband’s busiest work season, while caring for a busy household of ten.
     What should I learn from this busy month? I think God is teaching me that hospitality must be a common everyday part of my life, as I love my family and make them comfortable in their own home, and as we together share our lives with those God brings to us.
     Genuine hospitality will dispel the lonely feeling of an independent culture and replace it with the warmth of a caring community of believers. There is a tremendous need for us as Christians to share our struggles honestly and “wash one another’s feet”. There is also a world watching us, possibly very curious to know if there truly is a hope and wondering just how we do it. What a wonderful opportunity we have to witness of our Lord through a diligent, hospitable response to their curiosity.
     Our family has chosen to refrain from children’s programs that are so common today for every aspect of a child’s social development and education. Instead, we work, learn, worship, and fellowship together as a family (with a few exceptions). Family events are relished, and there is much time and preparation that goes into even simple things.
     Following are some of the ways we have enjoyed showing hospitality together as a family:

• Candlelight Christmas nativity in our barn for church, family, and neighbors

• Sledding and ice-skating parties in our machine shed flooded by my older son Caleb

• Inviting people to church specials

• “Singspiration” on our front porch and lawn

• Prayer meeting in our home

• Going-away party for friends that were moving, again in our machine shed, with wood chips on the floor and borrowed tables and benches from church

• Lunches for moms

• Picnics outside for children

• Trampoline and volleyball – these make good ice-breakers

• Bonfire with hot dog roast and marshmallows

• Providing overnight lodging, a meal, and sack lunch to missionaries, church speakers, or singers/musicians coming to our church

• Delivering baked goods or dinners to homes where there is a need or celebration

• Sunday night popcorn (something to invite a family to)

• Friday night Bible study

• Giving clothes and items to one in need

• Work party

• Tubing

• Neighborhood barbecue

• Watching children for emergencies, friends in need, anniversaries, or births

• Strawberry picking

     Sometimes we extend hospitality to those who cannot return it. My husband is always very alert to opportunities for helping others.
     One very hot Saturday morning, several years ago, was no exception. We were having a nice breakfast in our dining room when, looking out the bay window, we noticed an older couple walking along the highway. They were hitch-hiking and did not catch a ride, so the woman sat down on the curb. The Iowa humidity was practically unbearable, and it was only morning.
     My husband Dean said, “I’m going out to see if she is okay.” I was hesitant – but, he went anyway. Then I watched with surprise as he brought them to the house. He politely introduced them to our three children and myself.
     A sad life had taken its toll on their faces. I was struggling with extending the hand of hospitality.
     Dean invited them to breakfast – with utter disbelief on my part! As I went to the kitchen to prepare two plates, Dean helped me and said to me quietly that he had invited them to spend the day and have the man paint our fence in exchange for bus tickets to Minneapolis, Minnesota (their destination).
     We exchanged some whispering – furtive on my part! This ministry of helping was going too far.
     These people might be very wicked, or criminals. To set the scene even more, rural homes need lots of fixing, and this time our hot water heater wasn’t working, and dishes needed to be done. We were also in the midst of preparing to go to another state for a home-schooling conference. I had a heap of ironing – much of it 100% cotton – packing, cloth diapers to wash, and a nursing baby. Hayley, our oldest, was seven at the time and was definitely not the help she is today J.
     Well, there could be no more fussing – we must all get busy. Dean started the man painting, while I got the woman set up in our cool basement, ironing. They worked like troopers – so did we, and by evening everything was done. Conversation was shared throughout the day. They were very polite and did not use bad language. But I was still skeptical as to the safety of such a gesture on our part.
     Dean secured bus tickets for them, but departure was scheduled for Sunday afternoon. So he invited them to spend the night and go to church with us in the morning. There was more furtive whispering when we were alone. But, there was nothing else to do but go to bed.
     We gave them our bedroom, and we all piled into Hayley’s room with only one twin bed, because that was the only room with a lock on the door. We prayed, but I did not sleep well. I imagined all the worst things that could happen.
     Morning came uneventfully. We took them to church and Sunday school, and out to lunch with friends. We thanked them profusely for all of the work they helped us to do. I had never seen someone iron so nicely, and the lady helped me with other things as well – especially dishes!
     We put them on the bus, and except for one postcard, never heard from them again. But, as I look back and wonder about entertaining strangers, I wonder if God sent them along to help our little family get ready for vacation. I hope they came to Jesus.
     My heart is almost always eager to minister to the saints, reach the lost, or get acquainted with neighbors. But to organize and engage the “troops” and keep them going as we prepare for hospitality can seem like a mountain too high to climb and cross over.
     The younger children just simply do not have the same drive and motivation as the rest of us, and yet they must cooperate with us and be included. Hayley, our oldest daughter, reminds me, “If we give up at any point it is fatal to our cause to keep our house somewhat clean and orderly, with an aroma of ‘hominess’.”
     I teach the children to keep checking with me for the next thing to do. I also teach them the phrase – “What else do you have for me to do?” Many times it is my own selfishness and laziness that prevents me from always being prepared for hospitality. This is an area I am crying out to God for discernment on. Adjusting my standards of cleanliness and orderliness to fit my family’s capabilities and busyness seems to be necessary. Our home is bustling and full of activity, and we do have lots of messes.
     I am reminded of a dear older couple, a minister and his wife, whom God placed next door to us when Dean and I were newlyweds. They were the most hospitable couple, and so unique and comfortable being themselves. Of course it was expected of them by job description to entertain their parishioners, but it was evident that they really loved people. They flung open their doors and hearts and arms constantly. I learned so much from them.
     Buffy, a small white dog, would greet guests as the doorbell rang with barking and yipping. Bernita would welcome them warmly. Earl would sit down at their baby grand piano in the parlor/living room area and play with no music, giving a relaxed and cheerful atmosphere.
     They always had some cobwebs; the carpet was quite worn; and the furniture was old in their rambling home with river view. But they entertained the very elite of their large church, and people were drawn to them like a magnet. The fragrance of Christ was truly abiding in their home.
     May the fragrance of Christ be in our homes and hearts as well. Amen.
     “This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.” – John 15:12.©

A Summer of Thought
By Lisa Bode

Dear Sisters,
     It is an oppressively humid afternoon in early August. I sit with my journal at a picnic table, savoring the freedom of the moment – freedom from the pressures and responsibilities that have filled this summer. Now for a few days, while my family is camping, work is miles away, and I can smell the comfortable smoke of campfires and watch the pine trees waver in the breeze.
     I open my journal and pause to just think – to think, as I answer those who interrupt my thoughts at such moments as these, about the “deep things of life”. Where am I going, and what has brought me here?
     This summer has certainly been a far cry from the ordinary. Last May, as I washed radishes in the laundry room sink, I considered that my spring schedule was now ending, and that summer lay before me with all its potential. I looked at the work ahead of me with a mixture of excitement and foreboding.
     I had recently began a new project, one that would fill my schedule and stretch me beyond my current limits. When I told people about it, they often looked astonished or sympathetic. Perhaps on the surface it sounded rather unexciting, but I had found it to be quite the thrill. It was this: teaching writing to home-schooled students.
     I had signed up to teach, with another writing teacher, a high-school rhetoric and composition course for the entire 2001-2002 school year. This was a rather sensible decision, really. I had the time, and it would make a good learning and teaching experience, not to be turned down.
     But then the sense I may have had apparently left, and inspiration took over. I had just finished teaching an elementary writing course, and the students had won my heart completely with their comments like “I wrote greenbacks because I don’t know how to spell money” or “Do you have a thesaurus? I want a synonym for it” or “I can’t write a ‘which clause’ because I don’t want to write about a witch”. Teaching this age was just too much fun to quit.
     So the inspiration came. What if I taught this age group for an entire school year? The interest was there – both on my part and with home-schooling parents in the area. An outline for an elementary writing curriculum jumped into my head. Prayer and counsel confirmed this idea was more than a whim, and before I knew it, students were registering, and I was committed.
     Summer was upon me before I knew it. The first week of June I went to a home-schooling conference with some of my family, and was privileged to be a leader at the young women’s seminar. It was a delight to meet some of you, and a marvelous opportunity to share with all the girls what the Lord is doing through this ministry of The King’s Daughter. To be perfectly honest, I was terrified about speaking to a thousand people at once. Even friendly faces, when there are a thousand of them, can be rather intimidating to one whose maximum audience was previously fifty!
     But the Lord, as He has always been faithful to do, gave me all I needed to do His will. I am responsible only to obey Him – a simple task, really, for His commands are not burdensome (1 John 5:3), and He completely equips me for them. The results are in His hands.
     During the end of June my grandma from Washington State came to visit. We had so much fun together, playing games and picnicking. Grandma, Leah, and I made matching pink sundresses for Anna, Lydia, and Katie. We enjoyed working together – and I don’t even recall sticking myself with a pin, which is truly amazing. And the girls loved the sundresses, of course. With pink you can hardly lose!
     With the last issue of The King’s Daughter safely at the printer, I was ready in late June to begin planning my writing classes. One Friday evening the rain came down in sheets. Grandma and the others were at a concert at the Kennedy Center, and I had opted to stay home with the little girls. The rain had turned a little valley in our back yard into a real river.
     After doing the dishes, I took the girls out and we daintily played “Follow the Leader” in the river, whereupon I went inside to clean myself up. Next time I looked out the window, I found them rather un-daintily soaking each other. When they did come in, they each required a big bath towel and a new set of clothes. We then made microwave smores with chocolate chips, and I put them all to bed.
     Then the fun began! I pulled out my elementary course syllabus that I had drafted a few weeks previously. With some other resources and a pen and paper, I began writing the curriculum in the quiet night. Over the next few weeks the work continued – actually aided by a severe head cold that kept me down long enough to do some necessary reading and planning. The work ended with a grand finale on July 3^rd, stuffing twenty binders at our dining room table. Thankfully, I had much help, and working assembly line, we got it done pretty fast.
     On July 4^th, I watched the fireworks in Washington, D.C., knowing that the God who has called us is faithful, and that by His blessing the initial preparation for my elementary writing course was complete.
     It literally poured rain on us in Washington, D.C., and we sloshed through ankle-deep puddles for blocks and blocks an hour before midnight. We got home soaked to the skin and tired, but it was quite the adventure, and we slept in the next morning.
     Once I’d been awake long enough to get my wits about me, I sat down at a big table and opened the folder for the high-school writing course, Rhetoric and Composition. I re-oriented myself with the work that had been done (very little) and the work that still needed to be done (very much), and organized five stacks of paper for the five topics I needed to plan in the next five weekdays.
     This work was certainly challenging, but the challenge was fun. A few moments did come when I worried myself with things beyond me – things like the results of my work, the responses of others, the burdens of tomorrow – and I panicked. But every time I set out to seek the Lord and to obey Him today, the panic melted and the work was somehow done. The God who has called us is faithful. If we are in His will, we have nothing to doubt, and nothing to fear.
     It is immensely frustrating to work in my own strength, because I wear myself out accomplishing nothing of value. But it is thrilling to abide in the Lord, because as I simply obey, seeking Him first, the miracle of fruit begins.
     In mid-July I put that work on the shelf and returned to being editor of The King’s Daughter. The stack of correspondence waiting for me was quite astounding. But you would never guess how much fun it is to sit at one’s desk, opening envelope after envelope with all kinds of photos, letters, and submissions – some from people I’d never heard of before.
     Over the next two weeks of July, as Lara, Lana, and I worked together, this issue went from being that stack of envelopes on my desk to fully-designed pages ready to edit. “Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it....” (Psalm 127:1). Except the Lord puts these pages together, we labour in vain who edit them. There were hours when I labored in vain, when I had not the blessing of the Lord on my work because I had not asked.
     Do we realize how all-important His blessing is? Do we seek it?
     Now here it is early August, and I sit at the picnic table, enjoying the smell of campfires, waving away a few gnats, and remembering. Though the summer was not all smooth and successful, yet I can look back and see every goal reached, every project completed to deadline. I am keenly aware that my own ability did not accomplish it – and that the moment I would credit myself, the real work would stop.
     In a new way I know that the most important part of work is not the time when I sit down and do it, but the time when I kneel down and pray about it – because it is the Lord who determines if it is done, how it is done, when it is done – and more importantly, whether or not any eternal fruit will come through it.
     Without Him we can do nothing. With Him anything is possible. Do we live as if we believed that?
     I close my journal and think ahead – to what the rest of August will hold, before writing classes begin in September. Again I realize there is more to do than I can possibly do on my own. Four projects are due to be completed, and though thankfully I am not the only one working on them, the part I play I know quite well is too much for me.
     God calls us beyond our ability – beyond our schedule – beyond our expectations. He wants us to be willing to throw ourselves at His feet, to give everything we have to His cause, to not panic but to trust. It is His work. He will do it.
     A few hours pass and it is night. We play family games and roast marshmallows. It is so fun to roast a marshmallow, because turning it perfectly golden brown is such a challenge, and the taste is so rewarding. And you must never roast only one – or two for that matter – because there is always the chance that the next one you roast will taste even better.
     The little girls go to bed and the fire dies down. I pull up a camp chair and subconsciously study the campfire. The wood is now burning a vivid orange and creating the light that flickers around me.
     I am like wood. So many times I cling to my own life – my own plans, my desires and needs. I will not surrender to the Lord for fear that He would run my life down the drain. I have forgotten His love, and I prefer my own agenda.
     Slowly, slowly, He has been teaching me to surrender this life completely to Him, to slip, as it were, my wood into the fire. All right. Hands off my own life. I am abandoned, surrendered.
     Difficult circumstances have come my way that I would not have chosen on my own. Right now I do not know the good that will come from them.
     But, on the other hand, I would never have chosen the paths that have led to such great blessing and fulfillment as I am now experiencing. This calling of teaching writing is not one I pursued. It is one the Lord gave me after other visions died, and it is one that is perfectly formed for me – one that I really enjoy (unbelievable though it may seem J).
     A stack of wood does no good defending itself in a heap on the ground. But when dead to itself, surrendered to the will of another, it can be fuel to give light and warmth all around.
     “...Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit.” – John 12:24.
     Am I willing to die daily to my own dreams? It is the only way to realize His dreams for me. Don’t I want to give my life to shine light and warmth to others?
     The night passes, and the next day dawns even more hot and humid than yesterday. After a morning packed with activity, I take advantage of the opportunity to sit in the shade with a book and a cold drink. I look up and see, past the campground, the beautiful blue hills of Shenandoah National Park. Each one is formed so uniquely, intricately, perfectly.
     How sovereign God is! The earth is His footstool (Isaiah 66:1). The clouds are the dust of His feet (Nahum 1:3). His power and His imagination and His love formed those mountains. Will I ask Him to form my life?
     Surely I can leave everything in His hands. I am only responsible to obey as He has called me. The results of the work, the responses of others, the needs of my own life – those are beyond me; those are His responsibility. Why waste my energy worrying about what is His to handle? Don’t I trust the Creator of this beauty?
     The harvest of summer – the fruit of our lives – are not produced by our own efforts. No amount of planting and fertilizing and weeding and watering can create a single tomato. No amount of talent can save a soul. It is only by His power and love flowing through a surrendered life.
     I wonder, if I would fully surrender to Him, and accept whatever He gives me, would He form my life as beautifully as He did those hills?
     I know He will.
     “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” – Jeremiah 29:11.©

Writing Edifying Letters
By Heather Terrall

     Picture this: you started writing to a new pen-pal several months ago. Despite the fact that your regular letters are filled with events of the day, weather, jokes, your most recent shopping trips, and other things, you still don’t really “know” each other. Even though you have written quite a few letters back and forth, you are still just casual acquaintances and not really friends. You desire to reach a deeper level of friendship, but that doesn’t seem to be happening. What’s wrong?
     Proverbs 27:17 says, “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” How can such a verse be put into practice in correspondence? The reason that the above incident happened is because the letters described were filled with “everything” but were really empty. They were something like eating a big loaf of balloon bread only to find yourself as hungry as when you started. I write to quite a few pen-pals and I have found that the letters I value the most are the ones where the girl is willing to share from her heart. It’s fine to tell about the weather or jokes occasionally, but if every letter is just about surface things, you are not really “sharpening” each other.
     Following are several effective ways to build Godly relationships through correspondence.
   · Try to discuss spiritual things. This could include how to build relationships with your siblings, how to demonstrate a character quality God has been teaching you, or anything else God lays on your heart. My tendency when sharing about things like this is to share how I have done everything right (which, I promise you, is far from the truth)! My dad has told me, though, that people do not respect you less for humbly sharing your struggles. In fact, they respect you more!
   · Encourage your pen-pal. One of my pen-pals wrote recently “Heather, you are such a wonderful friend!” That was so meaningful to me! In the next letter you write, try to share how your friend has encouraged you. Even simply writing, “Thanks for the uplifting letter,” or “I appreciate your prompt replies” is a wonderful way to brighten someone’s day!
   · Write out special Scripture verses and share how God spoke to you through them. I highlight special verses in my Bible so I can find them easily and share them with my pen-pals. Another good way to share Scripture is by sending stickers with meaningful verses on them. (Sometimes these are hard to find in regular stores, but you should be able to find them in Christian bookstores.)
   · Ask questions. Questions are necessary for any good conversation, and communication by mail is no exception! Some good starters are: What good books have you read recently? What are some of your interests? When did you trust Jesus as your Savior? What ministry opportunities are you involved in? The list goes on and on – just be creative!
     In closing, let’s remember that your pen-pal is going to get as much out of your letter as you put into it! Only when you put your whole heart into what you write will you be able to build a close relationship with your pen-pals.
     Write edifying letters!©

What to Say Next
By Lara Bode

     Okay, you’re visiting a new church and have just been introduced to someone you’ve never met before. You’ve both given your names and agreed that “it’s nice to meet you”; but now an awkward pause has taken over, and you find yourself looking at your feet wondering wildly, What do I say next?
     Take heart! Even if you are a naturally “shy” person, with just a little practice and planning, you can become a sincere and pleasant conversationalist.
     But before I go into that, maybe you’re already thinking, Wait! I feel funny even introducing myself! I’m always tongue-tied before I’ve even said a word! Don’t be J! You don’t have to be professionally-trained in etiquette before you can smile at someone new and say, “I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Lara Bode. What’s your name?”
     So now we’re all on the same page J. The problem for most of us comes with what to say next, after the person has given you their name. I will admit that this is probably the most difficult step. However, it doesn’t have to be awkward.
     Without allowing an awkward pause to develop, quickly say, “Nice to meet you, [their name].” Then follow with an appropriate general question, such as, “Do you live in [your town]?”
     Once they have answered this, if they don’t offer any other information or response, you can then tell them where you live, and maybe add a comment about how it’s such a beautiful town, or how the city is getting so crowded these days, or something of the sort. Then move on to another topic. You can do it!
     Remember the following four keys to being a sincere and pleasant conversationalist:
   · Maintain a heart of love for other people. Remember that everyone you meet is someone that the Lord Jesus gave His life for. Communicate a genuine interest in the person with whom you are talking.
   · Don’t just stand there and talk about the weather. Develop some good basic questions to help people get started telling about themselves. For instance, you can ask, “What do you like to do in your spare time? How many brothers and sisters do you have? What work do you do?” These are sure to be comfortable topics, and by helping someone talk about themselves, you will be learning information about them that will help in getting to know them better!
   · Even if you feel a little nervous or awkward, make a point to act comfortable and confident. Do make eye contact, and smile! Don’t look at the floor, wiggle uncomfortably, or shuffle your feet.
   · If you have succeeded in getting them talking, really listen to what they are saying. Smile and nod your head encouragingly when appropriate.
     At pauses, (unless you need to leave), try not to let the conversation die off. Ask a question related to what they were saying, to keep them going. For example, if they are telling you about their missions trip, you might ask, “About how many people live in the town where you served?” or some similar question to show you are interested.
     When you are first meeting a new person, don’t get frustrated if making conversation seems like an effort. There may not be any deep conversations at first, but that’s okay. Just be yourself, act friendly, and try to keep the conversation going and learn some basic things about them.
     It is very important to remember their name and some things that they tell you! Then next time you meet them you should call them by name, and (if appropriate) ask a question based on your last conversation. For instance, if your new acquaintance Sally mentioned that she was going to try making bread for the first time, at your next meeting you could say something like, “Sally, how did your bread turn out?” Remembering things that people tell you shows that you were listening, and helps your relationship progress.
     What do you do when for some reason you need to spend a few minutes talking to someone with whom you have little or nothing in common? These same principles for good conversation also apply in situations like this! Smile, act natural, and ask a general question. Once they answer, respond enthusiastically with a related question or two.
     If you feel like you’re running out of conversation options, one good thing to remember is to talk about things you may have in common. (i.e., do you both like to read, travel, play soccer, embroider, garden, bake bread, play the violin?) To look for common ground, try a question such as, “Have you read any good books lately?”, “Do you play a musical instrument?”, or “We’re taking a vacation to Williamsburg this fall; have you ever been there?”
     Happy talking J!©

A Mother's Helper
By Amy Cook

     “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.” – Galatians 6:9-10.
     A few months ago I was approached by a Godly woman in our church who asked me if I would be willing to be a mother’s helper at her home. She has five children from ages 8 months to 11 years and needed some help around the house. I agreed, and have been working for her ever since. Neither of us knew at the beginning what it would be like, but we are learning together J.
     Now you may be asking, “What’s a mother’s helper?” A mother’s helper is simply what it sounds like – a girl who serves a mother in her home.
     I am like an older daughter helping Mrs. Smith, who doesn’t have an older daughter yet. She fulfills her role well – home schools the children, cooks the meals, keeps the house clean, and does other behind-the-scenes jobs. Yet occasionally this can get overwhelming. Shortly after I started working for her, Mrs. Smith broke her arm and was even more thankful for the extra help.
     I have really enjoyed my time as a mother’s helper. My role is to work right along with Mrs. Smith. I suppose it is something like a “mother’s apprentice”. Sometimes she goes to the grocery store (which is a lot easier without taking all five of her blessings along!). Other times she takes a rest, but usually she works as hard or harder than I!
     Each afternoon at her house is different. Last week I vacuumed a few rooms. I folded and put laundry away, wiped a few windows, cleaned out windowsills, and cleaned a tub.
     This is a “real job”, in that I get paid, but there are other benefits, too. There are so many things I can learn from being with Mrs. Smith. She has a wonderful relationship with the Lord and is so selfless toward her children and husband. I like seeing her excited about all the work that was done, and I like building my friendship with her daughter while we fold laundry. It’s not all boring over there – in fact, none of it is boring! Funny things happen, too, like finding out Timothy had been storing apple cores in his closet for a few months J.
     My job as a mother’s helper is not to replace my tasks at home, but to be an extra ministry opportunity. Before I go each Friday afternoon, I make sure my jobs at home are done. I want to caution you – don’t put ministry ahead of family!
     We read in Proverbs 31 about a Godly woman. She cared well for her children and husband, both physically and spiritually. She sewed, cooked, and cleaned. We are told that she excelled above all other women. However, the Bible says that she had help. We read in verse 15 that she fed her household and her maidens.
     God hasn’t called mothers to an impossible task. He has raised up younger women – you and me – to help. This begins with our own families and extends – “do good unto all”.©