Certain
By Lisa Bode

     “I think I’ll write an article,” I told Lara the other day, as we sat surrounded by papers and folders, trying to plan this issue. “I’ll write about the fear of – uncertainty.”
     Lara knows me well. Her eyebrows went up and she started to smile, because she knows that at this very moment I am struggling with the fear of uncertainty, with the fear of unknown, with the fear of the future. She knows that anything I would share in this article would come not from some lofty inspiration mastered long ago, but from real-life situations struggled through this very week.
     Because I am afraid. We can all be afraid. The future seems shrouded in fog, and for all we know, that fog could be hiding something that may hurt us deeply.
     In a large sense, America and the world faces the possibility of future terrorist attacks. The globe could be engulfed in war. Jesus could return at any moment, or He could wait awhile yet.
     A loved one could die. An unexpected opportunity could show up on our doorstep.
     We could make new friends or lose old ones. We could continue in our present direction or begin a new calling.
     Our life might be turned upside down tomorrow. Or again, it might not be.
     Maybe is the key word of the future. Perhaps. It’s possible. Don’t count on it. Uncertainty.
     What are you going to do next year anyway? What’s next after high school? Will you really be happy following this plan? Will you ever get married? The last question may be the greatest cause of our fear. Just this summer I’ve talked to two girls under the age of seventeen who were both struggling with the fear of continuing singleness. It could be funny, but it’s not. It’s frightening. Both of them could be single forever. It’s a possibility.
     Reality – and by this I mean the “seen” things of life, the sights and sounds and situations that surround us – reality is a raging sea of maybe’s and maybe-not’s. Uncertain, unexpected, and unpredictable, reality offers no promise to cling to, no surety to sustain us when sudden fear looms in our hearts.
     Nor can we lean on human feelings. This morning over a banana and m’n’m’s (terrific breakfast!), listening to beautiful music in my room and looking out at the green, green earth, uncertainty did not seem like such a problem. It was a beautiful morning! The optimism of the human heart was enough to sustain me. For the hour.
     But at lunch, as my youngest sisters discussed with volume the drama of double weddings, as I barely rescued my clothes from being drastically shrunk in the dryer, as I tried to imagine away a headache and eat leftover zucchini, the future seemed like a grim picture, and fear like the only logical response.
     Feelings – the pendulum that swings between ecstasy and despair, the natural optimism that soars one moment and crashes the next – cannot allay our fears. An upbeat attitude is not enough to uphold us when a wave of fear sweeps our lives.
     Girls, fear will attack us. It attacks at the moments when reality seems most uncertain and feelings most vulnerable. And no situation, no ministry, no job, no amount of chocolate, no plan, no person (no person) can deliver us from fear, or answer all our questions, or satisfy our deepest needs.
     Rather depressing so far, isn’t it? I could say, “Don’t worry, it will all look better in the morning!” But I won’t say that, because you may not be a morning person, and in the morning, life may in fact look worse.
     I could say, “Of course you’ll get married! Just wait a year or two.” But I won’t say that, because God’s plan for you may be continuing singleness. Feeling and reality do not hold the solution to fear. We must look to something else.
     A few months before I turned seventeen God gave me what became my life verse, Psalm 27:4. “One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in his temple.”
     We don’t seek God as our One Thing because we are super-spiritual saints. We seek God because we’ve tried leaning on reality, and we’ve tried trusting in feelings, and we know they don’t work. He is the One Thing that really matters. He is the One Thing that really satisfies. And He is the One Thing that delivers from fear.
     Fear is rooted in “all things” – in stress and schedules and singleness and sin and sinners and whatever may fall outside those categories. Deliverance is found in the “One Thing” of Jesus Christ.
     The beautiful place of overcoming fear is where we let go of “all things” and cling to the “One Thing”. It’s where we lay aside uncertain reality and unpredictable feelings and, as Elisabeth Elliot says, hang our souls on the unchanging promises of God. There and there alone do we find our fear swept away.
     We cannot stand on the raging sea of reality, nor the quicksand of human feelings. Only the Rock of God’s promises can uphold us.
     This means, in a very practical sense, that when reality says, “You may be single forever”, and feelings say, “Life is terrible!”, you reach for your Bible, and you open it up, and cling to the promises for dear life. You say them over and over to yourself. And you don’t give fear the shallow answers of, “Well, I could get married sometime” or “No, no, life is good”. You tell your fear the deep and lasting promises of God. On those promises you hang your soul, and you will be secure.
     Let’s look together at some of God’s promises. The key phrase we’re looking at is “all things” (the root of our fears). Study these verses carefully. Say them out loud and apply them to your specific situation.
     Matthew 6:33: “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”
     Ephesians 1:11: “...being predestinated according to the purpose of him who worketh all things after the counsel of his own will”.
     Romans 8:32: “He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?”
     Philippians 4:13: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
     2 Corinthians 9:8: “And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work.”
     Ephesians 1:22: “And hath put all things under his feet....”
     Romans 8:28: “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”
     Romans 8:37: “...in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.”
     These are not fairy tale imaginations. These are not wishful thinking, a hope against hope that maybe they will come true. These are Truth! They are certain in the most uncertain reality, steady in the most unsteady feelings. These promises will not fail. And they are only a beginning. You’ll find many more promises if you look.
     Girls, future uncertainty is only our perception. We see a question mark where God sees a period. Our future is as certain as it could ever be.
     Jesus has already written our life story. He created each of us with a beautiful idea of who He wants us to be. He has designed our destiny, and He knows what is the next sentence, the next paragraph, the next chapter of our lives.
     Your life story is written by a God who is so powerful that He measures the waters in the hollow of His hand and sees the nations as a drop in the bucket. Your life story is written by a God who is so loving that He will never leave you, and His everlasting arms are always beneath you, and He will not withhold from you any good thing.
     You will doubtless struggle with fear again. It’s not a one-time battle. But the victory is always yours to claim. The next time fear raises its ugly head, the next time reality terrifies you and feelings plummet, cling to the promises! Cling to the promises! They work in real life, not just hypothetical situations or long-ago days. They are for you, today, right now!
     I’m writing what I have tried, what I’ve experienced, what I know works. I have feared! Reality and feeling have failed me! God’s promises have not!
     Earlier this summer, I spent sixteen days in relative aloneness in Indiana – a writer’s dream and a social butterfly’s nightmare. (I accompanied Lana for her first two weeks at a Christian classical music camp.) My trip culminated in a weary, lonely afternoon of traveling home. Reality and feeling were against me.
     I got off the plane to make my connecting flight in Chicago O’Hare. There is something terribly wrong with that airport’s air conditioning. I’d slept only five hours the night before, and in the noise and heat of the jostling crowd, my head reeled in a vague sleepiness and aching pain.
     My backpack refused to zip shut, so I carried it and a laptop computer very awkwardly, the straps of my luggage and the rough cotton of my shirt torturing my sun-burnt arms. I’d hardly eaten and felt faint, desperate enough to pay over a dollar for one apple, and five dollars more for one small bottle of Advil. In all the airport, I did not see one familiar face, not one person who was glad I existed. In a wave of weariness, I looked bleary-eyed through the heat to a distant sign pointing in some remote direction to the concourse I was after, on the other side of the airport.
     And suddenly, something wonderful happened.
     No, the air conditioner did not start working. No, I didn’t meet an old friend who just happened to be flying through Chicago that day and would be happy to carry my bags, buy me Advil, get me an iced coffee, and tell me I looked beautiful.
     Something else happened – something very real, very wonderful. I remembered a promise. “The eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms....” – Deuteronomy 33:27. God was there in such a real way, walking beside me, upholding my footsteps, reminding me that He would never ask me to bear more than I could handle. Stumbling alone through the airport, I suddenly felt so loved, so treasured, so strengthened. A Love that would not let me go had already written my destiny. And in this rather uncomfortable sentence of my life story, His presence felt all the sweeter.
     Life can be terrifying – reality a raging sea, feelings a swinging pendulum. But you don’t have to fear. The promises of God are a solid rock. He is a Friend you can cling to. On His Word you can hang your soul. He is ready to satisfy your deepest desire, meet your greatest need, write the sweetest story, give the brightest future.
     He is your certainty in an uncertain world.
     I can’t explain the joy He gives – except to say I think you’ll feel as happy as I did, walking through the Chicago airport. ©

Choose God's Peace
By Jennifer Steele

     I have been pondering much lately over God’s timing and how we are to wait on Him. We can pine away, wishing for what is not. We can push through the fog, demanding that something happen now, creating a counterfeit of what God had intended. We can drown ourselves out in the plague of “What if’s”. Or, we can rest. We can accept the unknown, and choose God’s peace. This has been my challenge of late as I have been waiting on the Lord for direction for this next year. What is so amazing and comforting is that He has never failed me yet. Do I think that He is going to “let go” now?
     As much as I want His will and His best, I have often wondered, “How do I practically ‘choose God’s peace’?” Do I assume an attitude of prayerful meditation, humming hymns like “Trust and Obey” while soberly acting the martyr? Or maybe I should just bounce right along through my days, answering questions like, “What will you be doing now?” with “Congratulations! You’ve just asked the question of the hour! You know, I have no clue, but please call my prayer support hotline in 24 hours for an update.”
     Hmm... J. Actually, I think our proper response to God is beautifully summed up in the following account by Corrie ten Boom. She tells of a time when she and her father were on a train, headed back home from Amsterdam:
     ...he stood up, lifted his traveling case from the rack over our heads, and set it on the floor.
     “Will you carry it off the train, Corrie?” he said.
     I stood up and tugged it. It was crammed with the watches and spare parts he had purchased that morning.
     “It’s too heavy,” I said.
     “Yes,” he said. “And it would be a pretty poor father who would ask his little girl to carry such a load. It’s the same way, Corrie, with knowledge. Some knowledge is too heavy for children. When you are older and stronger you can bear it. For now you must trust me to carry it for you.”
     And I was satisfied. More than satisfied – wonderfully at peace. There were answers to this and all my hard questions – for now I was content to leave them in my father’s keeping.
     Later on...
     Father sat down on the edge of the narrow bed. “Corrie,” he began gently, “when you and I go to Amsterdam, when do I give you your ticket?”
     “Why, just before we get on the train.”
     “Exactly. And our wise Father in heaven knows when we are going to need things, too. Don’t run out ahead of Him, Corrie.”
     Whenever we are worrying or fearful in some way, it is so important to take those things straight to our Father, and tell Him that we cannot hold it. He will gladly lift it from us. Fear and worry are burdens that the Lord never intended for us to have. In fact, He commands us not to cling to these things, for the burden of it will pull us down. The practical application of choosing God’s peace for me has been just this. He has given (and will give!) the grace to recognize the enemy coming in my thought life, and to refuse anything that does not line up with His commands and promises in Scripture. The choice is ours!
     “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” – Isaiah 41:10.
     “But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying ‘Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid.’ And Peter answered Him and said, ‘Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.’ So He said, ‘Come.’ And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus. But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, ‘Lord, save me!’ And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him ‘O you of little faith, why did you doubt?’ And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased.” – Matthew 14:27-32.
     It was when Peter began to fear that he began to sink. Whatever the cause of your fear, have you considered that the Lord has a reason for allowing the circumstances just as they are? Be of good cheer! It is the Lord!
     “Therefore the Lord longs to be gracious to you, and therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you....  How blessed are all those who long [literally wait] for Him.” – Isaiah 30:18. Waiting for God is not an easy assignment. It is, however, worth it. He will bring your answer, and you can rest assured that it will be incredible.
     In closing, I would like to share with you a poem called “Make Me Thy Fuel” by Amy Carmichael.

From prayer that asks that I may be
Sheltered from winds that beat on Thee,
From fearing when I should climb higher,
From silken self, O Captain, free
Thy soldier who would follow Thee.

From subtle love of soft’ning things,
From easy choices, weakenings,
Not thus are spirits fortified,
Not this way went the Crucified.
From all that dims Thy Calvary,
O Lamb of God, deliver me.

Give me the love that leads the way,
The faith that nothing can dismay,
The hope no disappointments tire,
The passion that will burn like fire.
Let me not sink to be a clod,
Make me Thy fuel, Flame of God. ©

Your Identity in Christ
By Melody Dornink

     I think that most of us have battled with the fear of man more than once in our lives. It’s a tough issue – especially for us girls. We like to look pretty and be pleasing to everyone, but that doesn’t always work out as well as we’d like.
     I personally have had a desperate struggle with the fear of man, especially over the past couple of years. The enemy has been trying to tear down my standards by sending me thoughts like, “Well, everybody else is doing it!” But I’ve found that doing something just because it is the “in” thing is a terrible way to live. Just because a lot of people do it doesn’t make it right.
     So much these days, we as Christian girls are swept along with the world, doing the “in” thing because it’s “cool” and will make us popular and feel accepted. But just fitting in with the crowd doesn’t make us stand out as daughters of the King. Doing what everyone else is doing doesn’t give the world a refreshing picture of a pure and joyful young woman who is living for her Savior and not concerned about what the world thinks.
     So how do we get out of the rut of doing what everyone else is doing? How do we step out of the level of superficial comfort, where we are accepted because we look and act like everyone else? How do we stretch beyond what the world is doing, and instead live our lives for Jesus and Him alone?
     These are some of the questions that I have been struggling with. I am a person who likes to blend in. I don’t like to stand out or be considered “weird”. So if I am with others and they start to talk about something that is rude or uncalled for, I tend to laugh and joke along with them. Or if they start picking on someone, I tend to just go with the flow. Is that the way God wants me to act? Of course not!
     So I can see that my struggle is with the fear of man versus the fear of God. Do I want to please people and do what they are doing and try to “fit in” with the crowd? Or do I want to please God, go down the less-traveled path, and stand for Him?
     The Lord has been showing me how to overcome the fear of man by finding my identity in Jesus Christ. “Identity” means uniqueness, personality, character, and individuality. We have all been made different – after all, no two fingerprints are the same. We have all been created by God with our own uniqueness. When we try to pattern ourselves after other people, it is like telling God, “I don’t like the way that You’ve made me; I want to look just like someone else.” Finding your identity in Christ means finding your uniqueness in the Kingdom of God. God has created each one of us with different talents and personalities, and He wants us to use them, not to cover them up and try to be like everyone else.
     If we are close to Jesus, and we are studying His Word and doing what we believe in our hearts He wants us to do, then we don’t have to worry about what people think of us. As we become increasingly consumed with Jesus Christ, the fear of man will disappear. We are no longer interested in pleasing people; we are only focused on Jesus and we want to please Him. What everyone else thinks falls way behind. Jesus is the only One who matters anymore.
     When your focus is on what people think, then your focus is off God. That’s a scary thought! How many times have we made God’s thoughts less important to us than what people think? How many times have we put the fear of man before the fear of God? The awesome thing is that God is always there to forgive us, no matter what we’ve done. (See 1 John 1:9.)
     Do not waste the precious time of your youth worrying about what people think of you. Focus on God, and place Him at the center of your life once again. ©

Fear or Faith
By Rebekah Bowser

     Fear is the opposite of faith. Fear grips our hearts, makes us feel self-conscious, nervous, worried, doubtful, and far away from God.
     Like any other fear, the “fear of man” can either be very obvious or extremely subtle.
     Jesus came to break us free from the law of sin and death. With His Spirit as our guide, why do we ever struggle with fear? Fear stems from unbelief, a lack of trust in God.
     When the disciples were in the ship with Jesus, and the great storm arose, they were afraid! The Savior was asleep, and the wind was tossing the ship, until it was nearly full of water. It may seem to us that they had a valid reason to be afraid for their own safety, but listen to the words of Jesus: “And he said unto them, Why are ye so fearful? how is it that ye have no faith?” – Mark 4:40.
     “The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?” – Psalm 27:1. If we fear God, we have no reason to fear anyone else. The Lord is our strength and He is able to deliver us!
     Another kind of fear often masks itself as “low self-esteem”; I believe this is actually a form of pride. God made us just how we are; we are perfect in His sight. We will never please everybody. No matter how hard we may try, it is impossible!
     If we are humble, expecting nothing from others, it is not hard to let that Christ-like spirit rule in our heart and life. If we are filled with Christ, we will have no room for fear and unbelief!
     Thoughts like, I don’t want to go there; I don’t “know” anyone and then I might feel funny, or, They might act all right to my face, but I’m sure they really don’t like me… are negative and fearful self-centered thoughts. This kind of thinking comes from Satan, who wants to pull us into bondage any way he can.
     Maybe we don’t know anyone that is going to a certain event, but wouldn’t it be so much better to go with the attitude of a servant and giver, rather than with the spirit of fear? Lord work Your will in me…
     And maybe some so-called “friends” really do despise us, yet are too “polite” to show it to our face. Does it really even matter? Jesus was despised and rejected of men – can we expect any less? We need a prayerful, loving heart as in Matthew 5:44, 46: “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.... For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye...?”
     Love – bless – do good – pray – we will never feel burdened from giving these to others. We will find instead that we are losing a burden – of fear.
     I once read that “we can be more afraid of what someone thinks about us than we are afraid of sinning against God”. This is not the way of victorious Christian living. Our purpose on earth is to glorify God, not to please man. The only way to overcome the fear of man is to fear God!
     If we confess our fear and see it as a sin in our life, we can turn in faith to God and find victory over the binding power of fear. It takes much time in prayer to God – crying out for Him to truly live in us, to take out the pride and replace it with humility. We will never feel the peace of God until we let go of our fearful, self-conscious feelings and let His love rule within us, guiding our feelings, thoughts, and actions.
     There is victory in Christ! I have found as I cry out to Him, He gives a peace that overshadows all doubts. Never underestimate the power of our God. He is able.

“My faith has found a resting place,
in Jesus’ blood and creed;
I trust the Ever-living One,
His wounds for me shall plead.
Enough for me that Jesus saves,
this ends my fear and doubt;
A needy soul I come to Him,
He’ll never cast me out.
I need no other argument,
I need no other plea,
It is enough that Jesus died,
and that He died for me.”
– Lidie H. Edmunds

     It is enough! May we praise Him and take hold of His promises!
     “Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage....For we through the Spirit wait for the hope of righteousness by faith....For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another....If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.” – Galatians 5:1,5,13, and 25. ©

Fear in Ministry
By Sonya Martin

     “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” – 2 Timothy 1:7. We have often heard this verse quoted as an admonishment to be bold and to not give way to fear. Only recently did I discover the preceding verse: “Wherefore I put thee in remembrance that thou stir up the gift of God, which is in thee by the putting on of my hands.”
     It seems that “the fear of man” tends to plague us most when we are stepping out in faith to minister for the Lord or to use a spiritual gift. We may be preparing to serve away from home, lead a children’s ministry, or share a testimony. I have found the following steps to be effective in conquering the fear of man.
     Know your calling. God “has...called us with a holy calling, ...according to His own purpose and grace....” – 2 Timothy 1:9. Knowing your life calling gives special purpose to stepping out in faith.  Ask God to confirm your life calling from His Word. Knowing you are “called” by God to accomplish a certain task gives boldness.
     Learn humility. Look for ways to humble yourself. Begin by realizing you can’t do it on your own. You need the help of others, either through prayer or tangible support. Ask specific people to pray for you in specific ways. Ask God to make you a pure vessel that He can use for His glory. Be willing to be humbled by mistakes or failure, if that is His will. Fall on your face and cry out to God for strength, acknowledging that you are incapable and inadequate. Reject judgment, pride, and comparison toward others. Focus on the needs of others and think of those who will be especially encouraged by your ministry.
     Expect testing. “Be...thou partaker of the afflictions of the gospel according to the power of God.” – 2 Timothy 1:8. Once you decide to step out in faith, you may encounter testing, which could come in the form of criticism or opposition. You may even be tempted to abandon the project. It’s much easier to quit than to continue! Knowing you are called of God and desiring to obey Him gives endurance. It is easy to become weary. Ask God to bring a special purpose and meaning to you in regard to the task you are about to perform.
     Leave the results to God. Be committed to obedience to Christ whatever the cost, fulfill your calling, and leave the results to Him.
     Knowing God’s calling on our lives, learning to focus on others, not ourselves, and growing through testing will produce fruit that will last for eternity. Rekindle the gift God has given you, without fear, in power, love, and a sound mind. ©

Time Management
By Sarah Shedd

     1.) Cry out to God. Plead His help and wisdom. Fully pour out your heart before Him. Tell Him that He is your first priority, and mean it. Lay your life before Him. Put Him in charge of it all. Acknowledge God as the giver of all time – acknowledge that it all belongs to Him. One thing is needful – to sit at His feet.
     2.) On a clean sheet of paper, jot down a quick list of everything you think you’ve got to do in the next, say for instance, two weeks. List all the involvements that take up your time. Be short and specific. The goal is to get it out of your head and onto paper.
     3.) Cross out everything that you really do not have to do. Cross out everything unnecessary, frivolous or wasteful. The question is, “What can I possibly leave out?”
     4.) Cross out everything you know you will not have time to do, and everything that is entirely impossible and unfeasible. Does anyone recognize a process of elimination J?  [Make sure in this step, however, that you are dependable and keep to the best of your ability the commitments you have made to others. - Ed.]
     5.) Place a star beside the most essential things. Numerically indicate the order of their importance. Assign those things to specific days, or half-days. Figure out where you think everything should basically line up. The goal is to at least have a reasonable, supposed-to-function plan!
     6.) Show the list to your parents. Make any necessary alterations. Thank them for their counsel J! Their ideas and input are indispensably valuable to you.
     7.) Pray over it again, thanking God, submitting, and dedicating it to Him.
     8.) Proceed in an orderly and systematic way to accomplish your specific goals for the glory of God alone. Enjoy life! You should be able to see now that maybe you have more time than you at first thought! You might even find that there is space to do some of those impossible things after all. (If you sense that there are still too many things to fit in healthily, you’re just too busy. Please start over at step #1.) Free yourself from stress under God’s direction.
     ~ warnings and extra comments ~
     Be flexible. Be willing to adjust.
     God, His Word, and people are more important than “other things”.
     Leave room for the unexpected.
     Leave space to take deep breaths!
     Take every moment God gives you seriously, and treat it as an important treasure.
     Choose to enjoy all the life God gives you. Joy!
     Actively choose to do the right thing on purpose.
     I don’t believe God wants us to live a disorderly or passive life. I believe He wants us to intelligently, purposefully, and prayerfully decide how to spend our time.
     By the way, it’s not at all wrong to rest, relax, and enjoy recreation either. Please balance your work and rest.
     Remember the Scriptures say that “bodily exercise profiteth a little”. An important little, I would say. God did not intend us to be hothouse plants! If you can serve God more effectively and not be a burden to others by staying healthy and in shape, please do so!
     I know sometimes (such as in a crisis situation), we can do hardly anything to “fix” our shattered and crazy schedule. Sometimes nothing really seems to work. It’s like imposing method on madness, I know! In that case, hang on for the ride, and trust Jesus. He is our confidence, and He does not condemn His children. He will give you freely His inner peace, even when your whole world is upset. Just ask Him. ©

Adventures in Tutoring
By Christy Mills

     For the last four years the Lord has given me the opportunity to be a tutor. It wasn’t necessarily a position I sought, but rather one that Jesus dropped into my lap. I began tutoring the January of my junior year for a family in our home school group. I had been praying for a home business for a while, and I was very excited to see my prayers answered. The mother of the family that I worked for had health problems, and they wanted someone to help school the children.
     The first year, I tutored the seventh-grade daughter, working about five to seven hours a week. The next year, I again tutored Rachel. We worked together primarily on math and English, but I also gave her the other assignments for the day, answered questions, corrected tests, and had vocabulary card fights. (It’s a long story J.) Tutors don’t have to only be about schoolwork. I soon felt like a big sister, and Rachel is now one of my good friends. The following year I added a student, Rachel’s brother Zach, who was in fifth grade.
     Teaching Zach was very different from teaching Rachel. I was Zach’s sole teacher, which meant lesson planning at home, and arranging each day’s schedule. He also had some learning disabilities and plus, he was a boy, and that was a totally new adventure in itself. That year I spent about fifteen to twenty hours a week tutoring.
     Last year was my favorite tutoring experience. I worked about twenty-five to thirty hours a week with Zach and also his eighth-grade brother Jace. We had many learning adventures together. Actually, that’s just a fancy way of saying that we had a lot of fun while we did school work. It was a year that none of us will forget – cutting up a chicken leg to look first hand at hinge joints and ball-and-socket joints, making a cloud in a canning jar, and working on adverbs and adjectives while sitting outside on the trampoline.
     This year has been a little different. Instead of working with home schoolers, I’m working in our public middle school. I volunteer on Tuesdays and read with children who need special “encouragement” to read. It’s been challenging, but also very rewarding. My ultimate goal is to get some tutoring jobs through the school, but for now I’m happy just volunteering. Tutoring is a wonderful opportunity to make a difference in someone’s life, to be an influence for Jesus.
     If, after reading all this, you are thinking, “Great! I want to be a tutor – how do I get started?”, begin by asking yourself these questions.
     “Do I have a heart for children?” There is a difference between those who are teaching children because they love them and those who are teaching because it’s a job. Is this a ministry or a job? Where is your heart? Tutoring is an awesome way to get involved in a child’s life as well as in the family’s lives. You never know who you may touch with the ripples you make.
     “What subject(s) am I qualified to tutor?” You may excel in a certain subject and struggle in another, or you may be proficient in them all. But, please do not try to tutor physics if you’ve never taken it J.
     “Home school or public school?” These are two very different categories; you are dealing with very different atmospheres. I would suggest seeking your parents’ guidance especially in this area.
     “What kind of a situation do I want to get into, such as, my home or theirs?” I tutored at the family’s home in one instance, but I have also tutored other children at the public library.
     Also, think about how many hours you want to tutor. Is this a full-time or a part-time job? How much are you going to charge? I made anywhere from five to ten dollars an hour depending on the number of students, but this may differ in your area.
     After you have asked yourself and your parents these questions, the next step is to advertise. My first suggestion would be to advertise in your home-school newsletter or at your church.
     If you and your parents decide that you should tutor at a local public school, the first step is to call the principal of the elementary school or the middle school (or both). Explain what you want to do, and if you are willing, mention that you are also able to volunteer some of your time. Volunteering is a good way for teachers and staff members at the school to get to know you.
     Writing up a resume is another good idea; this gives the principal and parents some way of getting to know you. Calling Christian schools in your area would be another good idea.
     For the tutor-to-be, I would like to offer a few tips, learned from personal experiences and mistakes. Be creative! Each child has a different way of learning. Creativity can be expressed in a variety of ways. Read out loud. Make games to go along with what you are learning; this can be as simple as playing “memory” with your vocabulary cards. Write missed spelling words on the counter with frosting or shaving cream. Do science experiments; dissect flowers and chicken legs (as well as gross things like eyeballs and frogs); fill up a balloon with jell and let it get hard just to see what happens. Vary your methods and don’t let things get too predictable; do school outside, on the porch, in a tree, etc. (Yes, I have used all of these ideas; but, make sure that the things you do are checked with the parents. The family I worked with was very laid back.)
     Don’t be afraid to be strict. You want to have a trusting relationship based on acceptance and approval, but don’t be afraid to put your foot down and correct. Establish rules and expectations. Make sure that all work meets those expectations, and if it falls short, correct. This is one of the areas that I have struggled with, because I wanted the children to like me. Don’t worry; they will respect you as well as like you even if you are firm.
     Be careful not to get too familiar. Remember that you are the teacher; keep the position of authority. This is another area that I have struggled with; so take it from experience, if you get too friendly, your students will no longer respect you.  Be friendly, but don’t forget, you are the teacher!
     Have fun! Your students might not remember all the dates and rules, but they will always remember you and the time that you spent together. This can be good or bad J. Set them a good example to follow, because they will follow you! Have fun together so that when they look back, they can say, “That was one of the best years of my life.”
     Happy tutoring! ©

Just Like Candace: A Story
By Rebekah Vari

     There was no doubt that Candace Palmer loved her little sister. She felt as if she would do anything for her. She had even prayed before Amanda was born that God would give here a little sister.
     But there were times when it wasn’t easy being a big sister. For one thing, Amanda copied everything she did, or so it seemed. Just like the other day...
     “Those desserts last night at Mr. and Mrs. Brown’s anniversary party were sure something, weren’t they?” said Mrs. Palmer at the lunch table.
     “I know,” said Michelle, Candace’s seventeen-year-old sister. “I couldn’t decide which ones I wanted to try. There must have been at least twenty selections!”
     “I liked the double-decker chocolate cake,” said ten-year-old Lucas. “That was the best!”
     “But I especially liked the lemon meringue pie,” said thirteen-year-old Candace. “No one makes it like Mrs. Lloyd, and hers are especially good.”
     “I especially like them, too,” stated six-year-old Amanda.
     “You didn’t have any last night,” said Candace.
     “Why not?” asked Amanda.
     “Because you were so full of chocolate cake that we thought we’d have to roll you out to the car,” said Lucas.
     “That’s enough,” said Mrs. Palmer. “Finish your lunch, and no more comments like that.”
     “I still especially like Mrs. Lloyd’s pies,” said Amanda.
     Does she have to keep using the word "especially" just because I used it? thought Candace.
     “I’m glad, sweetie,” said Mrs. Palmer. “Now let’s all try to finish our lunch soon. We leave in an hour for our appointment at the eye doctor, and we don’t want to be late.”
     Candace quickly finished her sandwich and helped Michelle clear the table and wash the dishes as everyone else finished.
     “I want to help, too,” said Amanda. “I’m especially good at washing dishes.”
     “Not today,” said Candace.  “We need to get this done quickly so we’re not late. Why don’t you go brush your teeth?”
     “But we’re not going to the dentist,” said Amanda. “I especially don’t like going there.”
     “It’s a good idea to brush your teeth, anyway,” said Michelle. “You know Mama wants you to do it after every meal. You can help with the dishes tomorrow.”
     Amanda sighed as she walked away. “I especially don’t want to brush my teeth.”
     Michelle suppressed a laugh. “I think Amanda is being especially careful to use the word ‘especially’ today.”
     “I find it irritating,” said Candace. “All I did was say it twice, and now it’s become a permanent fixture in her vocabulary.”
     “You have to admit that it is kind of cute,” Michelle said.
     “Maybe,” thought Candace. “But not when you’re the one being copied.”
     A few weeks later, Candace’s friend, Amy, came to spend the weekend with her. They had been planning the weekend for two months, and Candace could hardly believe that it was finally here.
     “Come on in,” Candace said, taking Amy’s bag and holding the door open for her when she arrived.
     “Thanks. Do you want me to take my stuff up to your room?”
     “Sure. We can go up there and get settled, then we can decide what we want to do.”
     Amy followed Candace up the stairs and into her room, with Amanda following right behind.
     “You have a really pretty room,” Amy said, standing back to admire it. “I like your curtains. The light blue color really adds something.”
     “I’ve got a pretty room, too,” said Amanda. “Do you want to see?”
     “Not now, Amanda,” said Candace. “Amy just got here, and we want to give her time to get settled.”
     Amanda continued, “My curtains have bears and hearts on them, and so does my bedspread. Michelle sleeps in my room, too, because I get scared of the dark at night, but she keeps her clothes and things in here. Her bed doesn’t have bears and hearts, though. We have the biggest room in the house, did you know? Daddy’s and Mommy’s is the second biggest. Lucas has a room, too, but it’s downstairs. He’s not afraid of the dark. He’s a big boy and has a flashlight. Do you have a flashlight in your room?”
     Amy laughed. “Only a small one. It doesn’t work very well because the batteries need to be changed.”
     “Oh,” Amanda said. “My dad changes all the batteries in the flashlights here at my house. I don’t have one of my own, yet, but I hope I will someday. What’s your favorite color?”
     “I like yellow,” Amy said.
     “Me, too.”
     “I thought your favorite color was red,” said Candace.
     “I like red, too. I like all kinds of colors. Candace’s favorite color is blue, Michelle’s is pink, and Lucas’s is green. Mommy and Daddy like fall colors. Do your mommy and daddy like fall colors?”
     “Well,” Amy began.
     “Why don’t you go play with Lucas?” Candace asked.
     “He’s outside raking leaves and doesn’t want me around because I like to jump in the piles,” said Amanda.
     “Well, then, why don’t you go see what Michelle’s doing?”
     “She’s studying at the computer and Mommy said I wasn’t to disturb her. I want to be in here with you girls.”
     “We’re busy right now. Why don’t you come back later on?”
     “When?” asked Amanda.
     “I don’t know, but go find something else to do until Amy is done getting unpacked.”
     Amanda walked out of the room, her head hanging and a little pout beginning to form on her face.
     “Your little sister is so funny,” said Amy. “I wish I had a little sister sometimes.”
     You can have her, Candace thought. She always dominates the conversation whenever I have a friend over.
     A few minutes later, Amanda peeked her head into the room. “Are you done being busy yet?” she asked.
     “No, Amanda. Go downstairs and see if you can help Mama.”
     “She’s on the phone. Can’t I please come in? I especially want to be with you.”
     The look on Amanda’s face looked so pitiful and pleading that Candace could hardly resist.
     “All right,” Candace sighed. “But you have to be quiet. Amy and I are talking.”
     Amanda came in, sat on the bed, and tried her best to be quiet for about the first sixty seconds while Candace and Amy talked. But it was no use. She simply couldn’t keep it in for that long. The urge to say something overruled.
     “Guess what!” she broke in, “I can read a whole book by myself!”
     “You can’t read, yet, Amanda,” said Candace, exasperated.
     “Yes, I can!” she said. “I can read Curious George all by myself.”
     “That’s only because you’ve heard us read it to you so often that you’ve memorized it. You can’t read, yet.”
     “I can, too!” Amanda exclaimed. “I’ll show you.”
     She ran out of the room and came back ten seconds later with Curious George in hand.
     “We’re not going to read now, Amanda. Amy and I are talking, and you interrupted us. If you can’t sit quietly, I’m going to get Mama.”
     “But I want to read Curious George to you!” Amanda wailed.
     At that moment, Mrs. Palmer came up the stairs and looked into the room.
     “Amanda, why do I hear you yelling?” she asked.
     “I want to read Curious George to Amy, and Candace won’t let me. All they want to do is talk. Candace said that if I couldn’t be quiet, she would go and get you.”
     “Let the girls have some time to themselves for a little while,” said Mrs. Palmer. “There will be plenty of time for you to read Curious George to them later. Let’s go downstairs, and we’ll get out the play dough while I start getting dinner ready.”
     “All right,” Amanda said. “But can I be with the girls later on?”
     “Yes, you can, just give them some time to visit by themselves.”
     Candace rolled her eyes as Mrs. Palmer and Amanda went down the stairs. “She can be exasperating sometimes,” she said to Amy.
     “I think she’s cute,” said Amy.
     The rest of the afternoon went smoothly according to Candace, with Amanda out of the way. But she was dreading after dinner, for she knew that Amanda would probably be allowed to join them. Sure enough, no sooner had they been excused from the table than Amanda followed them upstairs again.
     “Can I read Curious George to you now?” she asked Amy.
     “Sure,” Amy said. “If it’s all right with Candace.”
     Inwardly, Candace cringed. She knew it was the right thing to include her younger sister, but why was it so hard?
     “Go ahead,” Candace said.
     Amanda plopped herself down on Candace’s bed and beckoned for Amy to sit beside her.
     “I’ll be back in a few minutes,” Candace said as Amanda began to read.
     Why does it have to go this way? she thought, as she walked down the hall. It’s no fun to have friends over when you can’t spend any time with them. I might as well just expect to have to include Amanda in everything we do this weekend.
     Candace went into Amanda’s room where Michelle was picking up toys off the floor.
     “Hi,” said Michelle. “Where’s Amy?”
     “She’s letting Amanda ‘read’ her a story in my room.”
     “Why aren’t you in there with them? Or have you gotten tired of Amy already?” she asked with a smile.
     “I’ve gotten tired of Amanda already,” said Candace. “It seems like I can’t have any time with Amy without Amanda coming in and wanting to be the center of attention.”
     “I don’t think she means to be that way,” said Michelle. “She gets excited whenever we have someone over and enjoys being in the middle of it. Most of all, I thinks she just wants to be with you because you’re older, and she wants to do everything that you do, including being with your friends.”
     “But do I have to share all my time with her? If I always included her, Amy would spend all her time with Amanda. I may as well not have any friends over at all if I can’t spend any time with them by myself.”
     “Who says you can’t spend any time with them by yourself? I thought Amanda was with Mom in the kitchen before dinner while you two girls were upstairs talking.”
     “She was. That was after she was in my room earlier wanting to read Curious George to Amy. Mom took her downstairs and told her that she could spend time with us later. Now she’s in there acting like Amy came over to spend time with her.”
     “Don’t forget that Amanda will be going to bed in an hour or two, and you’ll have time to spend with Amy by yourself for the rest of the evening. Unless, of course, I choose to come in and bother you.”
     Candace laughed. “I don’t mind you. You always make things fun, but Amanda just gets in the way.”
     “Don’t you think that Amanda thinks it’s fun to be with you as her older sister, just like you think it’s fun to be with me as yours?”
     “I guess I never thought of it that way.”
     “Remember, too, that Amanda is only six years old. I know it’s not easy to be patient with her. How do you think I feel sometimes having to share a room with her when she leaves toys all over the floor?”
     Michelle finished gathering up the few things that were left lying around the room and placed them in the closet where Amanda kept her toys.
     “I guess you’re right,” Candace said. “But why does it have to be so hard? It’s not easy to include her. You don’t have any trouble including her when you have your friends over.”
     “That’s because I had you to practice on,” said Michelle.
     “Me?” asked Candace.
     “Of course. Don’t you remember when I used to have Jessica over, and you always wanted to play with us?”
     “Yes, but most of the time I remember you including me.”
     “And most of the time I didn’t want to. To me, you always seemed to get in the way, just like Amanda does with you. There were times that Mom gave me to spend with Jessica by myself, but there were also times that I had to include you. I didn’t like it, and it wasn’t easy, but I learned to enjoy having you around because I chose to enjoy it.”
     “You mean I have to choose to want Amanda around?”
     “You may not want her around, but when she is around, you need to look for ways to include her. I found that when I looked for ways that we could all have fun together, I had more fun than I realized I could have.”
     “Maybe,” said Candace. “That’s easier said than done.”
     “I’ll do my best to keep Amanda occupied while Amy’s here, if you like,” said Michelle. “I know that sometimes she gets a little carried away.”
     “Would you? I would be so grateful,” said Candace with a sigh.
     “No problem,” Michelle said. “I know what it’s like to be in your place.”
     “Well, let’s go to my room and see if we can rescue Amy from the clutches of Curious George.”
     Candace and Michelle entered the room where Amanda was just finishing reading to Amy.
     “I’ve got another one called Curious George Goes to the Zoo. Would you like me to read that one to you, too?” Amanda asked Amy.
     “I guess so,” said Amy, looking up as Michelle and Candace entered.
     “Amanda, why don’t you let Candace and Amy decide what they’re going to do since Amy is Candace’s guest?” said Michelle.
     “What are you girls going to do?” Amanda asked.
     “We haven’t decided yet,” said Candace.
     “When you decide, can I do it, too?”
     “That depends on what it is,” said Candace.
     “Amanda, why don’t we find something to do together in our room and then plan to spend time with Candace and Amy tomorrow?” said Michelle. “You’ll be getting your bath soon, and you wouldn’t have much time to spend with them tonight, anyway.”
     Amanda sighed, “Okay, but it’s especially hard to have to go to bed early when Candace and Amy get to have all the fun.” She followed Michelle out of the room, Curious George dragging sadly behind.
     Candace sighed. “At least she’s out of the way.”
     The rest of the visit went smoothly enough as far as Candace was concerned. There were still times that she wished Amanda would go away, but she tried her best to be tolerant of the situation. Michelle helped out as much as she could by diverting Amanda’s attention when necessary, and Mrs. Palmer would occasionally step in when she saw that Amanda was trying to get her own way. But despite these times, Candace still felt annoyed by her younger sister’s presence.
     “So, did you enjoy your visit with Amy?” asked Mr. Palmer after Amy had gone home Sunday afternoon.
     “Yes, we had a great time. I was sorry to see her go. We had been planning the weekend for so long that it’s hard to believe it’s over already.”
     “That’s the way it usually goes,” he said. “Were you able to include Amanda and Michelle in some of the things you did?”
     “Sometimes. We had fun with Michelle, but Amanda was a real bother when she was with us.”
     “I understand. I appreciate you trying to include her as much as possible.”
     “It wasn’t easy. I don’t understand why she has to do everything I do. Michelle says I was the same way with her when I was younger, and I guess I still want to be like her in some ways, but I don’t bother her to death when she has friends over or try to do everything like she does.”
     “That’s because you’re thirteen and Amanda is six. There’s a big difference.”
     “I know, but sometimes I wish I had someone different for a younger sister – someone who wasn’t so irritating.”
     “I don’t think Amanda is as irritating as you make her out to be. There are a lot of other younger sisters that you could have. If you really knew what some little sisters could be like, I think you’d be very grateful that Amanda is the way she is.
     “At least she wants to be like you and copy what you do,” her father continued. “Right now it’s important for you to be a good example for her and make her feel accepted, like Michelle has done for you. It’s not easy being an older sister, especially to a very active younger one that likes to be in the center of everything, but I think if you give yourself some time, you’ll find that you’ll be grateful that Amanda is your sister.”
     “What should I do in the meantime?”
     “Thank God that you have a sister like Amanda, and begin to focus on her positive qualities. Try it for a while, even when it’s hard, and see if the Lord won’t help you change your perspective by it.”
     “I’ll try,” said Candace, and she purposed in her heart that she truly would.
     A week later, the Palmer family was at church sitting in their pew just before the service started. As Candace pulled out her notebook, she happened to look up and notice a new family coming in the door. They filed in and took a seat in one of the pews in the back. As she observed them, Candace noticed that they had a girl that looked about her age.
     I’ll have to go over and introduce myself after the service, she thought.
     As the service ended, Candace looked back again at the new family. It didn’t look as if they were going to leave right away, so Candace took advantage of the opportunity and went over to introduce herself to the new girl.
     “Hello,” she said as she walked up. “I’m Candace Palmer. We’re glad you’re here today.”
     “Thank you,” the other girl said. “I’m Janet Benson. This is our first Sunday here.”
     “We’re glad you could come. Are you the oldest?”
     “Yes. I’ve got four younger brothers and a younger sister named Grace.”
     Candace glanced over at Janet’s little sister. She was standing on the pew, tapping violently on Mrs. Benson’s shoulder, trying to get her attention.
     “Mama! Mama!” she cried. “When are we going to eat? I’m hungry and tired of being in this place!”
     Candace winced at the volume of the little girl’s voice. She could be heard all over the room. Candace looked over at Janet and could tell that inwardly she was wincing, too.
     Mrs. Benson ignored her daughter’s whining, and picked her up and brought her over to where Candace and Janet were standing.
     “Could you please take her awhile?” Mrs. Benson asked Janet. “She’s starting to get tired, and we’ll hopefully be leaving in a few minutes.”
     “Okay,” Janet said quietly.
     “Hold me, Janet. I’m tired of standing!”
     Janet picked her sister up, who was quite a big girl for her age. As soon as she did, Grace wiggled out of her sister’s arms.
     “I want to walk around,” Grace said.
     “No, Grace, Mama said that you’re to stay with me.”
     “But I want to walk around the church and play. There’s nothing to do if I stand here with you. Besides, you’re boring. I want to go over and see that little girl over there.” And she pointed to Amanda.
     “That’s my little sister,” Candace said. “I can bring her over here to see you if you like.”
     “No, I don’t want to go over to see her. She looks like a mean girl.”
     “Why, Grace, that’s not a nice thing to say. You shouldn’t say things like that,” said Janet.
     “You can’t tell me what to do. You’re not Mama.”
     With that, Grace broke loose from her sister and began to run around the sanctuary, nearly knocking over an older gentleman in the process.
     Janet looked embarrassed and exasperated. “I don’t know what to do with her sometimes. She never listens to me or even to Mama. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about, having a little sister yourself.”
     Candace didn’t say anything. She definitely knew what it was like to have a little sister, even one that could be an irritation, but never did Amanda act like Grace.
     Candace talked a few minutes longer with Janet, before Mrs. Benson called Janet over to help catch Grace.
     “It was nice meeting you,” Candace said, as she went over to join her family again.
     On the way home from church, Amanda spoke up. “Did you see that bad girl running around the sanctuary today?”
     “I’ll say,” said Lucas.
     “Was that the younger sister of the girl you were talking to earlier?” Michelle asked Candace.
     “Yes. The older girl’s name was Janet, and the younger one’s name was Grace.”
     “That’s a joke!” said Lucas. “I would have thought her name was Tornado.”
     “She certainly was a handful,” Michelle said.
     “I wouldn’t be a bad girl like that,” said Amanda.
     “No, you wouldn’t, Amanda,” said Candace. “You’re a very good girl.”
     “Am I?” asked Amanda.
     “Of course,” said Candace. “You’re very well behaved, and I’m proud of you for being that way, too.”
     Candace remembered what her father had said to her the week before. “I don’t think Amanda is as irritating as you make her out to be. There are a lot of other younger sisters that you could have. If you really knew what some little sisters could be like, I think you’d be very grateful that Amanda is the way she is. At least she wants to be like you.”
     Candace felt a little hand slip into hers. She looked down to see Amanda leaning beside her.
     “When I grow up, I want to be just like you,” Amanda said. “I want to wear glasses and have friends over and not ride in a car seat and do everything just like you do it.”
     “Do you?” asked Candace, her heart beginning to melt.
     “Yes,” said Amanda. “I want to be especially like you.” ©