A Heart Wholly His:
Practical Help for Dealing with Infatuation
By Ruth Roebke

     Ohhh! (sigh) There he is. Is he looking this way? Oh, he is! Stay calm…smile… So far, so good. Here he comes! I can hardly believe this is happening to me. The nicest guy I know is walking straight towards me!
     …and walking, right past me. Why can’t he stop and just say – hello? Doesn’t he know I exist?
     Does this sound familiar? Have you ever had a similar conversation with yourself? Your knees were knocking, your brain was spinning, and your heart was doing those funny little flip-flops. You may have added a spark of personal flair. Did you faint perhaps? Or maybe there was less drama, but the focus was still the same: him.
     Through the years I have noticed that there are varying degrees of the intensity of such emotions, but it is the rare exception that never develops a crush on some member of the male species. The reasons vary as do the circumstances, but the result remains the same: choosing the trinket of infatuation over the treasure of God’s best.
     It would be naïve of me to attempt to exhort you to never have such feelings. It would almost be like telling you not to scream on the two-hundred-foot drop of a roller coaster. So, the issue is not so much whether you experience bouts of infatuation. Holiness in this area does not stem from the absence of these emotions. If we are going to experience the type of holiness God speaks of for the unmarried woman, we must dig deeper.
     In 1 Corinthians 7, God speaks of the differences between those who are married and those who are not. “…The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit…” - 1 Corinthians 7:34.
     There is a purity that is all-encompassing – a purity of spirit. I still remember asking myself, “Am I pure in my spirit?” At the time the answer was an obvious no. But in the years since, the Lord has brought purity to my spirit. This is freedom!
     Yet such a freedom does not happen instantly and it requires constant diligence. “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” – Proverbs 4:23. You are waiting for a treasure. You can settle for the trinkets. They will bring pleasure and enjoyment, but you will miss the sweet satisfaction of God’s best.
     This choice is certainly not the easy road. There will be times when you will seemingly miss out on all the fun. In other words, your heart simply is too vulnerable. You could go to that dinner or Bible study – it would not be a horrible, dark, lascivious sin to sit across the table from the cute dark-haired boy – but your heart would be at risk.
     This type of constant diligence requires honesty with ourselves. I can think of numerous times when I have made decisions, choosing what appeared to be an unnecessary standard, to protect my heart or someone else’s heart. I have no regrets. The treasure is worth it.
     I think often of the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31. She does her husband good all the days of her life – all of them. (See Proverbs 31:12.) For this reason he is able to trust her. If you are married, are you doing your husband good today?
     If you’re single, you can develop a trustworthy heart right now. This perspective will increase your capacity for the greatest gift you can give – genuine love. The focus of genuine love is to give.
     But we have a problem. Have you noticed? Most of us won’t be getting married in the next couple of weeks. So what do we do? We wait.
     I can hear the cries now. “Wait?! I can’t wait!”
     This time of waiting is not a curse – it is a gift. You are covered with the covering of the Lord. You have the opportunity to enter into intimate fellowship with Him. This is the treasure of today, while you wait for the treasure of tomorrow. The Beloved longs for you to seek Him with all your heart. (See Jeremiah 29:13.)
     As young men with good looks, charm, personality, character, and love for the Lord come into your life, you can develop a crush or you can develop your relationship with the Lord. He knows your thoughts, so talk with Him about what you see and feel. Then turn your focus to Him.
     Worship Him! Some of my sweetest times with the Lord have been in just such times.
     Within the gift of waiting is the gift of time. You have the time to develop friendships, time to love your family, time to disciple other young ladies, time to learn skills and seek ministry opportunities. Most importantly, though, you have time to love the Lord.
     If you learn to direct your desires to the Lord, you will lead a life of delight. Write love letters to Him; take walks with Him; share your secret thoughts with Him.
     Bind your heart with His heart. Ask Him to spread His covering over you; become His. Choose to delight in Him, and He will become your desire. (See Psalm 37:4.)
     Then the young men you meet will begin to be just that – young men, not the objects of your daydreams. And one day the Lord will whisper in your heart, “This is the one I have for you.” And your joy will be first and foremost in the Giver. “I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine….” – Song of Solomon 6:3.
     The more time I spend with the Lord talking over the issue of romance, the more I am assured of His having a perfect will. He can be trusted to bring romance to your life in His time and His way.
     And so it is my prayer that someday you will find yourself saying, Ohh, He is here. I can hardly believe it. Be still… delight in Him. So far, so good. Lord, it is true: You are my Beloved. My heart wholly belongs to You. I love You with all of my heart! ©

Desire: Frustration or Fulfillment?
By Lisa Bode

     She is fourteen years old.
     She is at the airport.
     She came here with the rest of her family to pick up her dad from his business trip. As she waits, she notices a young woman across the hallway. Stylish. Smiling. Confident. Just a few years older than she is.
     Her brothers and sisters start to yell that they “see Dad”, and she looks up. But she doesn’t see her dad. She sees the guy walking behind him.
     Wow. He is attractive. Young. Tall. Wearing khaki.
     He walks over to the stylish young woman, as if drawn by a magnet. They beam at each other. They embrace. They walk away, still beaming, holding hands, both talking at once.
     She comes to. Her dad just said hello, and would she hold her little brother’s hand so he doesn’t get lost? Her family clamors around her, and they move toward the exit.
     All she feels is – ouch. Overwhelming desire consumes her. This couple, so happy, so young... So many others like them, flitting through the airports and shopping malls of the world... So many songs and stories and pictures, all forming a tantalizing symbol of what she longs to have, but can’t. Like a chocolate bar dangling just out of reach.
     Craving desire fills her, and she doesn’t know what to do with it. She is only fourteen; this is ridiculous; she is far too young – no, that doesn’t help. The scolding thoughts don’t take away the sudden ache of want.
     Only a few years ago, “no boys allowed” was the rule when she played with her friends. Just a few months ago, in the excitement of high school beginning and ambition blossoming, she wanted to stay single forever. Or at least for a long time.
     And that still seems sensible – but what to do with these feelings? How to handle this desire, this growing, gnawing want?
     Are you this girl? Maybe you are a little younger, but you still know these feelings. Maybe you are far past fourteen, but realizing that since its awakening, your desire has only grown.
     Maybe you are infatuated – the guy across the aisle at church or in class, who fills your dreams, whose only fault is that he doesn’t appreciate your existence. Or maybe there isn’t anyone, yet you’re fingering the idea, fantasizing, wishing, wanting.
     Either way, you have a problem. It can be kind of an embarrassing problem to share with other people, yet it can consume your life.
     You have a desire. And it’s not being fulfilled. And that can hurt.
     Your feelings are crying out for love, romance, attention, and your mind is telling you that right now – and maybe for the next several years – it’s impossible. Maybe you’re too young. Maybe you haven’t met the right one. Maybe you’re called to single ministry right now.
     But maybe you are fighting those facts. Has your desire grown so strong, seemed so unbearable, that you want to jump out of God’s will and seek fulfillment on your own? Are you considering throwing away your standards and recklessly pursuing romance, in the hope that then you will be perfectly happy?
     Girls, it would be very wrong, and you know that in your heart. It would also be incredibly dangerous. And you wouldn’t be happy for long. Your pursuit would end not in ultimate fulfillment, but in destruction and desolation. The chocolate may be dangling just out of reach, but when you jump across the boundaries of right and wrong in order to get it, you find out that it’s poisoned. Sin does not satisfy. It leaves you badly hurt. Very badly hurt. Don’t do it.
     Okay, you won’t do that. You’ll wait for God’s plan; you’ll stay in His will. You’ll follow your family out of the airport and go home and do the dishes and complete another lesson of algebra. But you still have this desire, unfulfilled. Back to square one. Problem identified, solution needed.
     Why does God do this to us? It seems so unfair. He created romance; this was His idea; and here we are dealing with feelings that cannot currently be gratified. You would think it would be easier if we never wanted friendship until the day we met someone, if we never wanted romance until the day it blossomed, if we never wanted marriage until the day we wed. Before that day we could be so focused, so happy.
     But we know that’s not how life is. We desire before, sometimes long before, the fulfillment. Usually we do not live 24/7 continually crushed by secret longing. But all of us would probably acknowledge that those moments do come, when desire rushes in like a runaway train and our only coherent response is – ouch.
     Why does God do this to us?
     Why does He give desire without fulfillment?
     Because of His great love.
     Listen very closely. Are you infatuated? Are you dreaming? Are you wanting?
     Your natural desire for love and romance is not wrong. It can lead to great wrong, and the devil would steer you in that direction, but your desire in itself is not wrong.
     Your infatuation is your opportunity. Your desire can become your journey to a deep and beautiful friendship with the Lord of the universe.
     What the devil would turn to impure rebellion, or discontent frustration, God would transform into sweet satisfaction.
     That is why He allows the desire before the fulfillment. Because ultimately, we can only be fulfilled in God and God alone. Our desire should propel us to seek Him.
     Maybe you met someone who turned your world upside down, yet never noticed you. Or maybe you woke up this morning with that ache again of longing unfulfilled. What do you do?
     This is the message God has built in my life. In reading and applying it, I pray that we would find together the fulfillment of desire.
     Pour out your heart to God. Jesus became a human being – fully God and fully man. He understands how you feel! He is longing for you to stop keeping your feelings to yourself and to pour them out to Him. “…Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us.” – Psalm 62:8.
     This means that if you’re busy, you must make the time in your schedule to push everything else aside and talk to God and listen to Him. This means if you’ve been staring out the window blinking dreamily and humming romantic music, you need to get down on your knees and open your Bible! Communicate with God! He will not force His solution on you, but He’s right there waiting for you to reach up to Him.
     You know that need you have sometimes to just spill to someone? Spill to God! “Lord, all my desire is before thee; and my groaning is not hid from thee.” – Psalm 38:9. Rest in the knowledge that He knows, that He cares, that He loves you. He doesn’t think you’re silly or ridiculous. He won’t reject you. So tell Him all about it.
     Desire reveals to us our weakness, our need, our distraction. We can’t hide that from God; we can’t pretend we’re strong and awesome and doing okay when in reality we feel like our lives are giving way. We must come to God in our weakness and honestly share with Him our need, and He will meet us there in a very special way.
     Give God all your heart. You must make the conscious choice to give God all your heart, not to give pieces of it away to different guys you know, not to imagine falling in love with your mental image of Prince Charming, but to willingly kneel down and to say with all that is in you, “God, here is my heart.”
     With your heart you are giving to God your affections, your feelings, your future, your every relationship, your entire life. You are taking what is most precious, most important to you, and laying it on the altar.
     “My [daughter], give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways.” – Proverbs 23:26.
     Have you heard of the concept of guarding your heart? “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” – Proverbs 4:23. Where is your heart more protected, more guarded, than in God’s safekeeping? If you give Him your heart, He will take care of it, and satisfy it, and protect it from others’ misguided designs and from your own fumbling plans.
     Giving your heart to God is a continual process. It means that you daily choose to love God with your affections first and foremost. “…You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart….” – Luke 10:27a.
     It means that you accept whatever He says “yes” to, and leave behind those things to which He says “no”. It means that you make sure everything coming in or going out of your heart, every influence and decision and relationship, is okay with Him.
     What is keeping you from giving your heart to God? Are you afraid He will smash it to bits? Are you afraid He’ll burn to ashes what you lay on the altar? Are you afraid to take your hands off the most precious things of life, afraid that if you ask God to handle the details, He’ll handle them the wrong way? Are you afraid to trust Him?
     We fear desolation, and we long for our own happiness. So carefully contrast these two verses:
     “Samaria shall become desolate; for she hath rebelled against her God….” – Hosea 13:16.
     “…none of them that trust in him shall be desolate.” – Psalm 34:22.
     Rebellion will lead to desolation; trust will not! Giving your heart to God is the best way to guarantee its joy.
     Choose to be satisfied in God. God is the only One who can satisfy you. No one else can even come close. “For he satisfieth the longing soul, and filleth the hungry soul with goodness.” – Psalm 107:9.
     If your dream Prince Charming would appear today and fall madly in love with you, you would find that he couldn’t satisfy your deepest desires. Your heart would still cry out for more, for God, for a deep, abiding friendship with Him.
     Romance was never meant to be our ultimate fulfillment. If God brings it into your life, it will be simply one more aspect of your life calling, and you will have one more sinner to love.
     Girls, this means that you’ve already met the greatest Love of your life, and you already have all you need to be completely fulfilled!
     Do you believe that? It is true.
     The way to find out that it is true is to try it. Choose to seek God. Read His Word. Ask for the grace to desire Him first. Decide that you will be satisfied in Him.
     Give yourself this test. You pick – which would you like? Circle the letter of your choice.
     A) God
     B) Your Prince Charming, real or imaginary
     Choose God! Let your dream guy go! Choosing God does not necessarily mean that you will never experience romance. But it does mean that you will experience God’s best for you, and that may very well include romance in God’s time, God’s way, with God’s choice.
     When you feel hungry with desire, when your longing becomes a gnawing ache, find satisfaction in God! He fashioned you for a purpose and created you with an idea. He is writing a beautiful story for your life. Only He can make you who you should be.
     He determines your personal value not by how many guys like you. He set your value at the life of His Son, and He loves you with an everlasting love and sees you as a precious jewel.
     Psalms 62 and 63 give deep insight to the one who is desiring. “My soul, wait in silence for God only, for my hope is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation…. On God my salvation and my glory rest….” – Psalm 62:5-7
     “...My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You, in a dry and weary land where there is no water…. My soul is satisfied….” – Psalm 63:1,5.
     Rejoice in God’s gift for today. Today are you married? Rejoice! Are you single? Rejoice! Are you about to go on a fun outing with friends? Rejoice! Do you face a long, lonely day of work? Rejoice!
     Do you get the idea? Rejoice – not in denial of tough reality, but in faith that God loves you so much, that He knows what is best for you, that His way really is perfect, that as you walk uprightly He won’t withhold from you any good thing (see Psalm 84:11). Today, if you are walking in His will, He will not withhold from you any good thing!
     So stick with Him through thick and thin, and rejoice in whatever He gives. (Is there anyone else you would rather follow? Another way you would choose? Ever feel like the disciples? “...Lord, to whom shall we go? You have words of eternal life.” – John 6:68.)
     Every day God gives you a perfect gift of this day. God’s best for you may mean that you stay single your whole life – or maybe just for the next ten months, or the next ten years. (What’s that you said? “Ten years! I’m dying!”) God is not going to give you grace for the next ten years today. But today God will give you grace to rejoice in today. Tomorrow God will give grace for tomorrow. So claim God’s grace and rejoice in His gift for today!
     This is my application of Lamentations 3:21-25. (Look up the actual verses and study them as well.)
     “Today I choose to think on this; therefore I do have hope. Today the Lord’s lovingkindnesses will never cease. Today His compassions will never fail. They are new this morning. Great is Your faithfulness. The Lord is my portion. [I choose God, remember?] Therefore I have hope in Him. He is good to me when I wait for Him, when I seek Him today.”
     Are you following your family out of the airport and leaving a beautiful happy couple behind? That can be tough. But remember the God you’re following. And make the choice to rejoice.
     Do not let feelings rule! We’ve already determined that we have romantic feelings, and that these feelings are not wrong. However, we can – and we must – keep these feelings under control.
     Do not surrender to your feelings. Do not become their servant. Do not let your feelings run wild down any path. They can, and they probably will if you let them!
     You are able by God’s grace to control your feelings, and controlling your feelings is a good thing. “...we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ”. – 2 Corinthians 10:5.
     Never let your feelings go down the path of impure thinking. You know how impure thinking begins – so innocent, and the next thing you know, you’re shocked at what’s going through your mind. Don’t get close to the line. Don’t go there. Impure thinking is sin. If you find yourself there, stop, confess it, ask God’s forgiveness, be cleansed by Him, and don’t go there again.
     Don’t let your feelings go down the path of fantasy. Fantasy can be defined as imagining what your life could be like, but isn’t – what could happen a week or a year from now, but isn’t happening today. Fantasy can seem so sweet and fun, to stare out the window making up a scenario of your meeting Mr. Wonderful in some exotic place, and he said, and you said, and then, and then, and then…
     And what you are thinking may not be wrong, as in evilly sinful. Maybe you’re making up a really nice, pure, Christian love story. But is this fantasy God’s best for you? Does it help you live today fully? Does it help you become who God wants you to be? Does it help you reach out in love to those God has put in your life today? Does it help you get a good grade on the algebra you’re supposed to be doing while you’re staring out the window?
     Fantasy can be a snare of the devil to literally paralyze us today with daydreaming about tomorrow. Fantasy can consume your life. Don’t go there. Leave it to God to write the story of your future. “…And in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them.” – Psalm 139:16.
     Don’t let your feelings go down the path of premature romance. Remember, romance is not wrong. But for many of us, romance is not God’s will for us today.
     It’s like each of us has a romantic person inside of us. Sometimes this person silently sleeps, patiently waits, while we focus on other aspects of life that are God’s will for us today. But every so often – maybe very often in your case – the person wakes up and croons something like, “Oh, he is so adorable. He is so sweet. He is so….” Stop it! And say to your romantic person what you may say to a little child. “It is not time to wake up yet. Go back to bed, and I will tell you when you may wake up. And be completely quiet so you can sleep.”
     And this romantic person probably responds like a little child. In a few minutes you will hear, “Can I wake up now?” No. Keep it asleep until God’s time. It is possible by God’s grace.
     Avoid those things that feed impurity, fantasy, or premature romance. It makes no sense to inundate your life with music, books, pictures, or relationships that draw you in the direction of impurity, fantasy, or premature romance, while at the same time you are determining to control your feelings in these areas. It just doesn’t work!
     In our culture we are surrounded by an emphasis on romance – maybe because the world is seeking fulfillment and has chosen romance as a disappointing substitute for God. Many things in our culture are obviously very wrong. These you should definitely avoid, always and forever!
     But other things, like a pure and honorable love story, or a sweet wedding song, or even a Christian how-to-do-courtship book – these things do not strike us as sinful. In the right situation they could be helpful and good. (Remember, romance is not wrong!)
     But the question is, will this help you live God’s will for you today, or will this cause you to become distracted? You know your own weakness. If you are struggling with an infatuation, then quite frankly, listening to a wedding song or reading a romantic story may be the last thing you need! Switch the CD and find a new book! A biography of Amy Carmichael might be a nice place to start.
     Galatians 5:16 gives an interesting insight: “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh.” You don’t want to carry out the desire of the flesh? Replace the bad with good! Focus on walking by the Spirit, on living life fully, one day at a time, in God’s will. Fill your thoughts with God’s Word; fill your relationships with genuine love and service; fill your schedule with good works.
     Advice to the infatuated: do focus on what God has given you to do today. It can be tough, because we are human, but God gives grace one day at a time. Stop looking out the window and start doing that algebra lesson!
     Do sleep at night. Meditate on this verse: “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.” – Isaiah 26:3.
     Do eat, even if you’re not hungry.
     Do find someone to serve. Start with your family and then go beyond your home, building positive relationships through loving service. This gives you something worthwhile on which to focus.
     Do not give yourself away! Are you infatuated? Keep it to yourself. Avoid the girlfriend discussions of “Ooo, ooo, who likes who?” These are very silly, and can get you in all kinds of trouble.
     Does this mean you don’t tell a soul if you’re struggling? It means you evaluate your motives. Don’t create a sensational story out of your infatuation. But, it is often a good idea to open up and share your struggles with a carefully selected, very few people – only people whom you can tell in confidence and whom you know will pray for you, keep you accountable, counsel you wisely, and help lift you up. Your parents should be the first people you consider.
     Now what about the guy in all this? He’s the one who unwittingly caused all this trouble in the first place, right? How do you act toward him?
     Do not tell him how you feel. Do not flirt. Do not pursue him. God created men to initiate and women to respond. Do not make the first move.
     Do you want to split hairs with a question like, “Well, what is flirting?” Evaluate your motives. Is it okay to ask a guy how his school is going? Well, why are you asking him? The answer to your question is probably found in your motive. Be honest with yourself.
     Acting selfishly – to get someone’s attention, to pursue your own fulfillment, to attain your own fun – is never God’s best. God’s best is agape love, patient, kind, selfless, and all those other beautiful descriptions you find in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. Read them. Find out what true love really is, and you’ll realize that love is not what the world paints it to be.
     Love is not aching desire or sudden infatuation.
     Love is God meeting the needs of others through you. And love begins with Him.
     Desire – an aching longing that consumes your youth in discontent frustration or distracted infatuation? Or an opportunity to get to know, and find fulfillment in, the God who is Love?
     You choose.
     Read the choice that one girl made: “The desires and dreams – all of it went on the altar, out of my hands, into God’s capable hands, for Him to do as He pleases. I know He is capable of everything. This means no more worry and doubt and fear and trying to work it all out. This means no fantasy, but focus. This means no exhausting pursuit of fulfillment, but love for everyone God puts in my path. And the funny paradox is that giving up is the way to gain. Take my hands off and it actually works. Stop pursuing fulfillment and I find it.” ©

Walking in Love
By Lisa Bode

Dear Sisters,
     A few rays of golden sunlight peered behind the cold gray clouds of this Monday morning. The leaves of the trees fell in the slow breeze.
     I’d been up for a few hours now, chasing details, cleaning, washing dishes, and now I was out getting groceries. I studied the piercing beauty of the horizon for a moment before I looked back down to my work. I had not yet met with God that morning. I knew in my heart I needed to meet with Him very soon.
     I felt unhappy, discouraged by difficulties, confused by questions, overwhelmed by the upcoming week of work. I looked in myself and found two things – sin and weakness. I knew from God I could find forgiveness, and strength made perfect in weakness. I needed to meet with Him. From God and God alone could I find what I needed to truly live.
     I found a quiet place, and opened His Word, and asked again what has become the cry of my heart these last few weeks. God, teach me genuine love. Give me the grace to walk in the way of love.
     The autumn clouds did not instantly clear, but joy grew in my heart. My difficulties melted in light of promise; my questions were answered by clear commands; my work became possible by God’s enabling.
     All of this, as I sought genuine love.
     “…You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself.” - Luke 10:27.
     This is the sum of the law, the essence of what God requires for us – to love Him with everything we are, and to love those around us. Period. The end. Two things on my to-do list.
     And the two go hand-in-hand – “…the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen… the one who loves God should love his brother also.” – 1 John 4:20-21. So really it is one thing we are called to do. Love.
     Love is not one more quality I should work on developing. It is not one more thing I should do today before I go to bed. Love is a way of life. And it is the only way to live effectively, successfully, happily. Genuine love in its utter simplicity is all-encompassing beyond comprehension.
     Sometimes I feel like a lot more is required of me than just – love. I have on my desk in my room a day planner. Each week I consider schedules and check calendars, and then fill my day planner with scribbles outlining projects I need to do. Cook dinner on this night, graphic design magazine pages on this day. Now that the school year has begun I am teaching writing to thirty-nine students ages eight through fourteen. This means each week I write on my day planner classes I need to teach, papers I need to grade, students or parents I need to contact. Details, details, so many details!
     As the week progresses, I write more jobs into my day planner as they come to mind. Return this to Wal-mart. Go through the mail. Take my sisters to the park. Clean the bathrooms.
     I try to find the balance between working too hard and not working hard enough. When do I stop work and go build relationships, be with family, make a phone call, read a good book, meet with God, enjoy life, simply rest? And when do I hole myself up in the office and stare at the computer? How do I make sure I’m always using my time wisely?
     I become tired, overwhelmed, frustrated. I lose the joy in my work. My life changes into a to-do list that is never completely checked off.
     And God points me back to genuine love. Every moment I spend walking in love – love for God and love for others – is not a moment wasted. Do I want to really use my time wisely? Do I want to make my life count? Do I want to get it all done and get it all done well?
     Then the solution is not to work harder, faster, better, to work myself to distraction. It is to love, and to see my work as only a means to the end of love. At this moment as I sit writing – do I view this article as one more project on my wearying to-do list today? Or is this the way I can love God and love you right now?
     If I am not writing this article in love, it doesn’t matter how fast I type and how nice I sound. I am wasting my time.
     If I am not teaching my students in love, it doesn’t matter how many papers I can grade in an hour or how smoothly a class goes. I am wasting my time.
     If I am walking in love, it doesn’t matter whether I’m doing “unimportant” things like ironing a shirt or answering a phone call or reading a silly story to my sister. I am spending my time the best way I ever could.
     This is beginning to sound like 1 Corinthians 13. “If I… do not have love, I am nothing. And if I… do not have love, it profits me nothing.” But if I do have love – “love never fails”.
     When I wake up in the morning do I ask myself, “What do I need to do today?” Or do I ask God, “How can I love You and love others today?”
     So I’ve found that genuine love transforms my work – that in fact, genuine love is the only way my work can ultimately succeed, the only way I can live effectively, the only way I can tackle my to-do list without becoming weary, overwhelmed, or frustrated.
     And genuine love transforms my relationships. I’m trying to look at each person in my life with this mindset: “God, how can I bless this person? How do You want to use me in showing Your love to him or her today?” So what, if this person is having a nasty attitude, or misunderstanding my needs. That is really not the point. Am I walking in love? Conflicts disappear, problems vanish, questions are answered, confusions dissipate, when I am walking in love.
     I want very much to be happy. Do you? I love to be happy, and when I feel unhappy, I want the problem fixed. Right now, if possible! I have needs; they need to be met; and I will go out and find someone or something to meet my needs and make me happy. Maybe I could go shopping with a friend. Maybe I could turn on some nice music. Maybe I could take today off work. Maybe I could go to Starbucks. Maybe I could travel to Australia. Maybe I could persuade everyone in my family to be nice to me, even on a Monday morning!
     Do you think this effort works? Do you think I find happiness this way?
     The answer is a huge, resounding no. As long as my focus is on myself, attaining my own happiness, finding my own fulfillment, I only fall deeper and deeper into a prevailing unhappiness.
     These things I seek may give me a temporary smile, but soon the song is over and the coffee cup is empty and the shopping trip leaves me with a grim cash deficiency, and then what? I’m dissatisfied.
     How can I find true joy?
     My pursuit brings me back to genuine love. My experience is that if I want to be completely fulfilled, joyful, content, satisfied in life, then I must pour myself out loving God and loving others. Love is the key to happiness – not other people loving me, but me loving others.
     Wait a minute. Am I really saying that happiness is found in pouring myself out for God and other people? Like I can find happiness in writing this article to you, putting away groceries at home, teaching twenty-six little kids tomorrow, and taking my sisters to the park? If I do it in genuine love, yes! But who’s going to meet my needs?
     The Lord. As I pour myself out in love, I will be more fulfilled in Him than I could be in anyone or anything or anywhere else. Jesus loves and treasures me. He created me with an idea and He is faithful to perfect what concerns me. He showers me with good gifts. Walking in love gives me a beautiful joy!
     I’ve experienced this. I’ve lived days surrounded by happy circumstances, people showing love to me and every situation in life just smiling. And yet I’ve been unhappy because I haven’t been walking in love.
     And I’ve lived days like today, Monday mornings when quite frankly, everything seems grey as the clouds and nothing is working out quite how I’d like (and I feel the familiar wail, nobody seems to understand!). And yet I’m happy because since I met with God, I’ve been walking in love.
     In myself there is no love. It’s not a quality I can manufacture or a talent I can flaunt, not an ability I can develop or a feeling I can force.
     God is love. The fruit of the Spirit is love. We find love only through seeking Him. We walk the way of love by continually, moment by moment, choosing to confess and forsake past failures, choosing to rest in His love and to channel it to others, choosing to walk in the Spirit right now.
     Daily we repeat the lesson.
     And daily we can live in joy and fulfillment. Even on Monday mornings. ©

Thanks!
By Bethany Tiss

     Tonight as I was rinsing the dishes, the Lord brought a verse to my mind.  “Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise.  Be thankful to Him, and bless His name.” – Psalm 100:4.
     With the Thanksgiving season approaching, I thought it would be a perfect time to express my gratefulness to the Lord and bless His most wonderful Name.  Here are just a few “gifts” (all are from Jesus Christ!) I came up with, and I invite you to share with me in thanksgiving to Him!
     JESUS! God sending His only Son to die on the cross for your and my sin is indescribable – our finite minds can’t even begin to comprehend that thought! He is the most wonderful Gift we could ever imagine! He came to earth in “...the form of a bondservant... He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross.” – Philippians 2:7-8. Thank you, Lord, for who You are, and for saving me – an unworthy, sinful person, saved by grace. (See Ephesians 2:8-9.)
     God’s Word is a “lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” (Psalm 119:105) The Bible is God’s very own Word to us – His “manual” for the Christian walk, a blessed gift which too often I take for granted. Think about those who have no Bible, those who live in spiritually dark countries! We are certainly blessed, and should cherish and treasure the Word of God. Thank you, Lord, for Your Word. Help me to “delight...in the law of the Lord” and meditate on it “day and night.” – Psalm 1:2.
     Family is an incredible gift! Think how lonely we would be without family – friends may come and go, but our family will probably be almost always there for us! They are the ones with whom we laugh and cry, and share good times and bad. Those of us who live in Christian families with Godly parents who guide us on the “straight and narrow” path are so fortunate, and we need to thank God for where He has placed us! Thank you, Lord, for the family You have given to me. Help me to “...look out not only for [my] own interests, but also for the interests of [my family].” – Philippians 2:4.
     Church and friends – whether you attend a large congregation, or meet with a small group of believers gathered in a home, or maybe you’re “on the search” (my family has been there – we can relate!) – whatever your situation, thank the Lord for Christian friends! God has provided these brothers and sisters in Christ to encourage. We can “rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.” – Romans 12:15. Thank you, Lord, for the fellow believers and friends you have placed in my path – at church, in my neighborhood, pen-friends, and so on.  Help me to be an encouragement, and “as iron sharpens iron, ... [sharpen] the countenance of [my] friend.” – Proverbs 27:17.
     Have you ever stopped to thank God for plants and animals? God is so creative! Who would have ever thought to create plants to provide oxygen for humans? Only God, of course! Animals are spectacular to watch – have you ever been to Marine World, Sea World, or some place like that? What are some of the most interesting and amusing animals to watch? I, for one, love to see the dolphins, whales, and sea otters – they provide much enjoyment for their spectators! Although I’ll be the first to admit I don’t know why, I’m sure God has a specific reason and a purpose for creating snakes, big ugly spiders, and so on J! Thank you, Lord, for these amazing creatures you have provided for us, for plants which give us air to breathe. You are awesome in Your creative works!
     Martin Luther once said, “Music is one of the fairest and most glorious gifts of God.” I wholeheartedly agree! Listening to a timeless hymn or a classical tune is inspiring! If I play a fast-paced, rousing CD while I’m working, it motivates me to work faster! (Scrub harder, stuff envelopes with alarming speed, type faster, etc. etc. J) I thank the Lord for allowing me to play the flute and piano, and I pray that when people hear my music, they will be drawn to the Lord! “Make a joyful shout to the Lord...!” – Psalm 100:1. I think the word “shout” would include singing J.  Some are gifted with beautiful voices, while others may not be so talented in that area (that falls in my caliber!).  Yet God doesn’t say we need to have perfect voices in order to praise Him! He accepts all kinds – from the toddler shouting “Jesus Loves Me” off-key, to strong voices singing praises to Him. Thank you, Lord, for the gift of Godly music. Help us to always listen, play, and sing to Your glory!
     James 1:17 tells us that “every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father….” I have mentioned above some more prominent blessings God has given us; but we also need to take time to thank God for the little things! “In everything give thanks...” (1 Thessalonians 5:18; emphasis added).
     I have to say, The King’s Daughter and other Godly ministries have helped me tremendously as I seek to walk the straight and narrow path. Thank you, Lord, for these Godly young ladies and women who have written uplifting and edifying words to encourage me and other girls.
     Philippians 1:10 is very clear: we are to “approve the things that are excellent.” I believe an application of that is to read books that are edifying and that encourage us in our walk with the Lord. Thank you, Lord, for the spiritually uplifting books You have provided – they are truly a blessing.
     Health is one of the greatest gifts in life that we take for granted way too often! Usually when we’re sick or have a cold, we realize how great a blessing good health is K! God has given us bodies with which to glorify, honor, and serve Him.  Do you know someone who is sick or needs cheering up? “Pleasant words are like ... health to the bones” and “A merry heart does good, like medicine….” – Proverbs 16:24 and 17:22.  Thank you, Lord, for the gift of health. Help us to not take it for granted, but to serve You with the bodies You’ve given us.
     I hardly ever stop to thank the Lord for providing me and my family with food, clothing, and shelter. The good news is we don’t have to “...worry about [our lives], what [we] will eat or what [we] will drink; nor about [our bodies], what [we] will put on….” – Matthew 6:25. What a comfort to know that “...your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him.” – Matthew 6:8. Thank you, Lord, for caring about us. It is wonderful to know that You care about us and will always provide for us.
     I pray that as you celebrate this Thanksgiving season, you will “enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise.  Be thankful to Him, and bless His name.” God bless you! ©

The Echo of the Loon: A Story
By Jacinta VanZandt

     Slowly, silently, Susan closed the door behind her as she stepped outside. For a moment she stood, looking at the falling leaves and colorful world, yet, at the same time, not seeing them.
     Forlornly, Susan lowered herself to sit on the step, burying her face in her arms. She waited, but still, even here, in this solitary area, the tears would not come. Instead, the dull ache of pain and realization grew in her heart, weighing it down, as though it were a stone.
     It grew heavier and heavier until she felt that she could no longer bear it. She had thought that once she was alone, perhaps her tears would come, helping to relieve her heartache. But now she wished her husband would come out, come out and comfort her, come and help ease her pain.
     Someone else is here to ease your pain, a quiet voice whispered in her heart. Susan pushed the thought away; God wasn’t there for her! He had just taken her father, and now He thought that He could come to her and comfort her? Impossible!
     One small tear slipped down her cheek. Susan hadn’t realized how painful death could be. She had been too young when her mother died to even remember it now; and when others talked of death, somehow she had thought that its cold grip would never, could never touch her. Now she knew better, and it was all God’s fault!
     Two more tears escaped. The terrible news had come suddenly one day when her father came to visit her while the children were at school and her husband was at work.
     A few more tears found their way down her cheek as she recalled that dreadful day.
     Her father had moved stiffly, as though he were in shock. She stopped cleaning the kitchen so that she could lead him to the table and seat him, offering him some coffee and cake. But instead of answering, he had looked up at her with sorrow in his eyes. “Sit down for a minute, Susan.”
     She shuddered at his sober, serious tone of voice and his almost ashen face. Puzzled and afraid, she seated herself across from him, on the edge of the chair, preparing herself for the worst.
     He leaned over and took her hand, saying, “I went to see the doctor today.”
     Her already uneasy mind immediately cried out, “What? Why?” But all she managed to do was swallow and nod.
     As though reading her mind, her father said, “I didn’t tell you that I haven’t felt quite right lately; I didn’t want to worry you. I decided I had better get some tests done, just in case; so I went into the clinic last week. This morning I saw my doctor.”
     He drew in a long breath and let out the words in one quick burst. “I have cancer. My doctor said that it is too far along to be helped. I only have a couple of months to live.”
     Susan cried out then. She stared at her father and then jumped to her feet, yelling that she didn’t believe it, she couldn’t believe it! The tears came easily at that point, and her father came around the table and put his arms around her, comforting her the same way he had when she was little, murmuring that God would help them through it.
     After he left, Susan somehow managed to go through the rest of her normal household duties, her mind numbed. By some miracle she was able to behave normally when the children returned home.
     She waited until that evening, after all was quiet and still, to break the news to her husband.
     The next day, together, they told their children. The younger ones looked at them, a little confused, unsure exactly what it meant when you had cancer. They carefully explained that it meant that their dear grandfather would soon be going to heaven to be with Jesus. Then they started crying and couldn’t seem to stop.
     That was three months ago. The time had passed as fast as a week. Still, Susan hadn’t been prepared for it.
     The tears started coming, harder and harder, until she had to put a hand over her mouth to stifle the sound of her weeping.
     Her thoughts became angry again. God could have prevented this! He could have healed her father! He had healed other people!
     Suddenly, Susan stopped. Her head came up quickly and she stood, straight and tense. Her eyes turned to the mountains, a beautiful purple, orange, and pink hue, caused by the lowering sun. Her mind willed the birds to be silent. Then, the sound came again.
     The quiet, faint echo of a loon’s call.
     Another memory flashed through her head. A memory that had been forgotten, tucked away in the back of her mind. A memory that spoke to her.
     In this one, Susan was a young girl, in her early teens. She and her father were watching the sunset, as was their tradition. Since the day her father and mother had married to the day her mother died, they had sat and watched the sunset every evening. After her mother died, her father had carried on the tradition with Susan.
     As they watched the flaming mountains that evening so long ago, her father had at one point cocked his head and listened for a minute; then he leaned down and whispered to his daughter to “be quiet for a minute and listen carefully.”
     She cocked her head in an exact imitation of her father and listened. Amazingly, the birds stopped twittering goodnight and the wind stopped blowing. And she heard it, the very faint call of a loon from some lake in the mountains.
     “I heard it!” she excitedly reported to her father.
     He knelt down and explained to her as they looked out over the mountains, “There is a loon somewhere out there, calling to its mate. What we just heard was its call echoing back to us off of the mountain.”
     He stood up and said, “Whenever I hear that faint echo, it reminds me of God. I feel like God is trying to tell me that He is there. When your mother died, I was sitting out here, asking God why, why had He taken her? She was so young – I just couldn’t understand it and all I wanted was to be with her in heaven. Then I heard the faint echo of a loon, and I felt like God was telling me, ‘I am here. I may sound far away, and my voice is quiet, but if you are silent and listen, then you will hear Me.’ Then I suddenly thought of you, and realized how much you needed me. I needed to take care of you and just wait for God’s timing before I could be with my bride again.”
     Her father looked down and smiled at Susan’s young face as he concluded, “When God talks to you, He usually doesn’t shout. He whispers. That way, He knows if you’re listening. But most of us just sit and talk, and talk, and talk. We don’t like to take a minute off of our complaining to sit quietly and listen for His voice. In the same way, if you aren’t patient and quiet for a moment, you will never hear the sound of a loon’s call echoing off the mountain.”
     Susan blinked away her tears. How was it that this memory had come into her mind at this moment? Could – could it possibly be from God? Another quiet echo of a loon seemed to confirm that.
     Susan knelt right there in the grass. “Oh, Lord,” she prayed under her breath. “You are great and almighty. Forgive me. Forgive me for doubting You. Help me to trust You, even when I don’t understand what You do. I – I…”
     Susan stopped. She felt that she had prayed all she needed to at that moment. Now she would sit quietly and wait for Him.
     It was but a moment later that she heard the cry of the loon once more. God did speak in miraculous ways.
     Tears came to her eyes anew, but this time, they overflowed from a grateful heart. No matter how much she might miss her father, she knew he was in heaven, with his bride again.
     Her husband came out of the house, his face drawn and grim. He saw Susan standing in the yard, facing the mountains, and went to her. He pulled her close to him and then looked at her face. It was streaked with tears, but full of contentment, peace, and gratefulness.
     “What – ” he started to ask, but she silenced him by putting a finger to her lips.
     “Listen,” she whispered, leaning against him. She sent up a silent prayer to the Lord and thanked Him for sending her husband out just then, so that she was able to share this inspiring moment with him.
     He was quiet and they both listened until, together, they heard, one more time, the echo of the loon. ©