Week 11
Overcoming Anger and Frustration

"I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly." John 10:10b

     This week's lesson involves viewing my possessions as truly belonging to the Lord and yielding all my personal “rights” to Him. When I have given all my rights to God, I am able to overcome irritations and live peaceably with others.

CONCEPT TO THINK ABOUT:  In order to experience God’s fullest power and blessing, I must yield all of my personal rights to Him.

Characteristics that show we are not applying this principle: 
     (Place a check by any that you see in your own life.)

• Feeling irritated with people or situations.
• Being angry when I feel I’m taken advantage of.
• Demanding that others give me what I feel I deserve.

Testimony (from Lisa Bode):
     Every day I struggled with anger and arguments with my family members, as I tried to accomplish what I had on my schedule. Getting things done has always been very important to me. But instead of finding satisfaction in my work, I was regularly angry and frustrated because the schedules of other people in my family were always getting in the way of what I wanted to do. There were many good things I was busy trying to accomplish, and yet interruptions and changes would mess up my schedule all the time.
     At first I tried to solve this problem by treating my schedule as more important than the plans of others. If my brother was on the computer, I would want him to get off right away, because I needed to use it. Usually he didn’t want to get off, and we would argue. I would be frustrated that he was in my way and preventing me from getting my work done as fast as I wanted to. If Mom needed my help, I would be completely stressed the rest of the day, still trying to accomplish everything I’d put on the day’s list.
     Although it is good to be diligent and responsible, I finally realized that my life did not have good balance in this area, and my root problem of anger kept causing stormy conflicts. “Do you look at things according to the outward appearance?” – 2 Corinthians 10:7a. I was focusing only on the surface problems.
     When I asked God to help me stay on schedule, He first taught me that what I accomplish is not as important to Him as the kind of person I am. “What profit has a man from all his labor In which he toils under the sun?…Fear God and keep His commandments, For this is man's all.” – Ecclesiastes 1:3, 12:13b. He wanted me to be patient, quiet-spirited, and loving; in fact, this was more important to Him than my getting ahead in school, catching up on correspondence, and meeting all my other personal goals. As I realized that God’s focus was on my character rather than on my accomplishments, I sought His help in learning to overcome my anger.

Key Truths:
     The Lord taught me first that my anger occurred when someone violated one of my “rights”.
     I could see that whenever I had become angry, frustrated, or upset, it was because I felt I had a right that someone else had violated. I had a right to my own plan for my morning, and when my little sisters wanted me to stop my work and help them, I became angry. As I reviewed all the rights I felt I had, I realized that they were at the root of all my anger and frustration.

     The only way to conquer my anger was to give up my rights, and to transfer them to God. “So likewise, whoever of you does not forsake all that he has cannot be My disciple.” – Luke 14:33.
     As I yielded all my rights, one by one, to God, I experienced a new freedom in my daily life. I yielded the right to be on schedule. I yielded the right to spend my time the way I wanted to. I yielded the right to follow my daily plan.
     I have also seen the importance of giving the Lord ownership of all my material possessions — clothes, money, etc. For example, if I have yielded to God my right to my clothes, and then my sister shrinks my shirt, I can remember that I had given my shirt to God. He owned the shirt, and He had permitted it to be shrunk. With this line of thinking, I have no cause to be angry with my sister. If God provides the resources, perhaps I can replace the shirt. If not, that is okay. All my things belong to Him, and He is in perfect control of everything.

     Although I have given God my rights, I still have responsibilities I must fulfill.  I was responsible to be diligent in all I did, to follow my parents’ direction, to be punctual with deadlines, and to accomplish what God set before me.  So though I still worked hard, still planned each day, and still worked toward a goal, when my plans were interrupted and my schedule went awry, I realized that God was allowing these things to happen. The interruptions did not frustrate Him or take Him by surprise, and since my schedule now belonged to Him anyway, my anger was gone.

     In the place of anger I now experience a whole new thankfulness to God for whatever He enables me to do. Working for Him is no longer a necessary chore, but a benefit that gives me great excitement. Whenever I have uninterrupted time or have effectively accomplished a day’s work, I try to thank Him for it. It took me a little while, though, to learn to thank Him for interruptions!

     But I learned that interruptions and times of waiting are only His adjustments to my schedule, and that I need to be flexible and grateful when they come. “Direct my steps by Your word, and let no iniquity have dominion over me.” – Psalm 119:133.
     Now whenever I get angry or frustrated, I stop, trace it back to the violation of a personal right, and then surrender that right to God. This has been so effective!
     Learning to conquer anger has given me greater benefits than I ever imagined. First of all, I am able to live each day with a quiet heart and an availability to meet the needs of others with an attitude of joy and peace. Yielding the right to do my own thing has also opened my eyes to what God wants to accomplish each day through me. When I am stressing out trying to get my whole day’s work done, I can never know the excitement that comes when I just live each day for God and follow His agenda. Yielding my rights has also given me a better relationship with my family members, and allowed me to see that each of them is more important than my projects.  Sometimes a few minutes spent with my little sister is more important than anything else I do all day.
     By learning to yield my rights, I have been able to see things from a whole new perspective and live with the joy of being at the Lord’s disposal! “And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.” – Colossians 3:17.


Steps of Application:
     Think of the last few times that you have gotten angry. What basic things did you become angry about in these situations?





     Think about what words/actions/attitudes tend to cause you to become angry.





     Trace these angry moments to violated “rights”:





     Yield each right to the Lord in prayer.
     Ask Him for grace to keep these rights yielded and respond with meekness (rather than anger) the next time someone violates any of these rights.
     “Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another”. — Romans 12:10. “And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work.” — 2 Corinthians 9:8.


CONCEPT TO THINK ABOUT: In order to experience true inner peace and security, I must cast my burdens on the Lord.

      List the specific responsibilities and jobs that you have:





     "Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved." - Psalm 55:22.
     "Commit your works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established." - Proverbs 16:3.

Steps of Application:

• Specifically give each of your "burdens" to God – imagine rolling each one to Him.
• Ask Him to make it clear to you and your authorities if any of these responsibilities is not His perfect will for you at this time.
• When carrying out the responsibilities that are His will, ask Him to meet your every need while you do them. "And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:19.
• Realize that although you need to fulfill your responsibilities, you never need to become overwhelmed; focus on simply obeying God, and realize that the ultimate results are up to Him.

• Realizing God’s far-superior plan for your life. As you relinquish your own plans and willingly embrace His perfect will for your life, you will get to see His plans for you unfold.

• Seeing God work through you. When you yield your life to God, He will mightily use you to advance His Kingdom. At first we may not be able to see how God’s working through us is all that great, but as time goes by we are usually able to see more of how God’s work through us is a strategic part of His overall plan.

• Working without an overwhelmed feeling. When you have cast your burdens on the Lord and yielded all of your rights to Him, you are free to work on the responsibilities He has given you, knowing that (though you must do your best) He is truly responsible for the results.

• Getting freedom from anger and worry. When God is in the “driver’s seat” of every area of your life, you no longer need to worry! You can have a heart at rest, fully trusting Him. (See Proverbs 3:5-6).

• Being kept from wrong paths. When you submit to God's guidance in your life, you can be sure He won’t steer you down the wrong path! He is perfectly qualified to guide your life, because He sees the future.

• Rising above conflicts. By yielding your rights to God, you can avoid getting angry and frustrated when people or circumstances spoil your plans. You will instead realize that God is in ultimate control, and submit yourself to Him.

       Week 11 memory work: Choose at least one verse from the following list. Memorize the verse(s) that you think will be the most helpful for you to remember:

• Psalm 119:33
• Proverbs 3:5-6
• Matthew 11:28-30

     “What is that you’re wearing?” Amy eyed her younger sister critically as she set her purse on the desk.
     Beth turned around, looking nervous. “Amy, I would have asked you but you were gone. All my shirts are in the wash and I have nothing to wear, and this color looks great on me.”
     Amy recognized her best sweater and bit her lip to keep from saying something rude. It would be just fine if Beth borrowed her sweater – except that she was a size larger, and that she had spilled spaghetti sauce on Amy’s shirt just last week.
     Amy was still hot under the collar about that one. Beth had wanted to replace it, except her spending money was already gone. So that was that – Beth was off the hook, and Amy was minus her favorite white shirt. And she wasn’t about to lose a sweater, too!
     “No, Beth.” She shook her head. “It would be fine except for what happened last week. Besides, you should have asked. I had the cell phone with me.”
     “Oh, come on, Amy!” Beth pouted. “Why do you get to have all the nice clothes?”
     Amy decided not to push it and stuck her head out the door. “Mom?”
     “She’s at the post office,” Beth said, brushing her hair. “And Mrs. Smith is going to be here any minute to pick me up and I have to wear something.”
     “I don’t care. Take it off.” Amy felt her temperature rising. “Next time do your laundry so you have something to wear.”
     “I’m not taking it off,” Beth announced, fastening her hair back. “And you can’t make me.”
      The doorbell rang.
     Beth turned from the mirror.  “That’s Mrs. Smith. I have to go. Come on, Amy! I won’t spill on it.”
     “Beth, I said no!” Amy called after her sister. The door slammed in reply.
     What should Amy do now? How does this week's lesson apply to her situation?

How Surrender to God Has Brought Freedom and Joy into My Life
By Lara Bode

     I have discovered an amazing joy in taking the things that God has given me – such as time, money, etc. – and placing them “on the altar” to surrender them to God. I should dedicate every aspect of my life to God – my future, my affections, etc. This is evidence that I really trust Him. “Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass.” – Psalm 37:5. The word for “commit” in this verse means to “roll off onto”; thus, the implication is to surrender every aspect of my life over to the Lord. I completely yield to His leadership and trust Him to direct me.
     Surrender to God is based on the understanding that He has designed everything for a purpose. When I dedicate all my possessions and relationships to God, I trust Him to accomplish His perfect purposes through them.
     Giving my rights and expectations to God has allowed me to conquer irritations and anger. For as long as I can remember, there have been various things in my life that have frustrated me. When I yielded all my personal rights and expectations to God, I realized that God allowed these irritations to help mold me to become more like Christ. Since God is greater than any source of irritation, I know He could stop the irritation if He wanted. If He allows irritations in my life, I can be sure that He has a purpose for them. I am learning that one of my first responses to an irritation should be to thank God for it. Thanking God allows me to view my irritation objectively, and helps me understand what God may desire to accomplish in my life through it.
     Whenever anger is present in my life, it is an indication that there is some right, expectation, or possession that I have not yet given to God, or that I have taken back something that I had previously yielded to God.
     Understanding this principle has helped me to live in joy, to trust God, and to be grateful for everything He gives me. He is Lord of my life. My goal is to be like Jesus, who sought not His own will, but the will of the Father who sent Him (see John 5:30).