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Week 7
Gaining a Clear Conscience
"I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more
abundantly." John 10:10b
"Confess your trespasses
to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed...." – James
5:16a. God wants us not only to have a clear conscience before Him, but also before others. We need to ask
forgiveness from people whom we have offended. This is difficult to do, as it runs against our human pride. However, unforgiven
offences cause strained relationships, and can sever them completely! It is therefore important to clear up any wrongs we have
committed against others.
Practical Steps:
First, genuinely forgive others for their offenses toward you. This involves setting aside the pride
of what you feel you deserve, entrusting the whole matter to God, and opening your heart to those who have hurt you. Start
with parents and those closest to you, and work out from there. Forgive every sin that has been committed against you, including
broken promises, false accusations, favoritism, inconsistency, or angry discipline. Fully forgiving others enables you to get rid
of any anger and bitterness, and allows you to move on and clear up your own offenses.
Secondly, list (mentally or on paper) your offenses toward all these people. It may be difficult to
think of any. It is important to remember that offenses which seem totally justified to you probably were very hurtful to others.
Your offenses could include being ungrateful, disloyal, irresponsible, lazy, deceptive, proud, resentful, or resisting authority.
Since our sins are usually more difficult for us to remember than the sins of others, we need to search our hearts, mentally
relive our past, and pray for wisdom from the Lord. He will be faithful to bring to mind your offenses toward others and help you
focus solely on understanding how much you hurt them.
Specifically confess each sin to God -- include words, actions, thoughts, attitudes, motives.
Remember that God sees everything.
Once God brings to mind things for which you need to ask another's forgiveness, it is essential that
you follow through and do just that. The alternative to asking
forgiveness is trying to balance guilt and blame; this will bring destructive bitterness.
Asking forgiveness is painfully difficult, because the devil is anxious to keep us guilty and tries
to deceive us into complacency. All too often we accept his rationalization because we do not want to hurt our pride.
However, we must understand that a clear conscience is one of the most important things we can have.
Without a clear conscience, our relationships with others and our work for the
Lord is severely hindered. We will be headed toward failure
because our lives will soon be full of covered sins. A guilty conscience will keep us immature and deceived, and our Christianity
will seem like mere hypocrisy to others.
Humbly asking for forgiveness can also lead to unprecedented spiritual growth and blessing!
Asking another's forgiveness is difficult because we are generally a proud people, and admitting sin
is humbling. However, as we develop humility, hard though it may be, God will give us more grace. This means that He
will work in our hearts a greater desire to do His will, and greater power to accomplish it.
Become desperate for a clear conscience. Acts 24:16 should be our goal – to “...have
a conscience without offense toward God and men.” (See also Proverbs
28:13.)
Contrary to what we normally think, asking others to forgive us for our offenses toward them usually
causes them to think more highly of us!
List below the initials of people from whom you need to ask forgiveness. On the
bottom line, write the name of a close friend, Bible study partner, or family member who will keep you accountable to thoroughly
ask forgiveness of everyone on the list.
Accountability partner:
Be sure to identify your basic offense against another. Often the first offenses we
think of are simply surface conflicts springing from a root sin. For instance, procrastination in obeying your parents may be
related to a root problem of a dishonoring spirit. If you confess only the procrastination, the dishonoring spirit is likely to
manifest itself and hurt your parents in other ways. Remember that what seems like a tiny offense to you may look like a big
offense in the eyes of others.
Once I know the basic offense, it is vital that I work out the right wording beforehand. (Otherwise,
in the difficulty of the situation, I might easily forget my resolve or weaken my request.) Right wording is very
important! Be sure to avoid:
any blame (“It was your fault, too”).
explaining how it really wasn't your fault (“I did it because I was tired”).
pride (“If I was wrong”).
a demanding tone (“Forgive me”).
A good wording to use is: “God has convicted me of how wrong I was in
[honestly name the offense]. I don’t
deserve your forgiveness, but would you forgive me?”
The important thing is that the other person senses in you a true attitude of humility and
repentance. Be certain that the other person actually has forgiven you. A usual response to "I'm sorry" can be, "Oh, don't feel
bad" or "I haven't really thought about it," an unclear response that can
sometimes mean there is still underlying bitterness. Asking the question
"Will you forgive me?" and getting a definite answer is best.
Be sure to use the appropriate method when you go to ask for forgiveness. A phone call or personal
visit is best, because these methods involve direct communication. Letter-writing should be avoided, because a letter would
document the wrong, and your goal is to clear it up. Letters can also be misused or shown to others, and
they often go unanswered.
Look up the following Scriptures and list
insights and truths to apply from each one:
Psalm 103:11-13
Acts 10:15
Romans 8:31
Understand that your request for forgiveness may meet with refusal. There can be several reasons for
this. Your asking for forgiveness asks them to get rid of their blame; this may leave them with a lot of guilt for their own
faults. They do not want the guilt, so they may just hold on to the blame and refuse to forgive you. Or they may sense that you
are not genuinely repentant. They may need some time, or need to see a change in behavior before they are willing to forgive you.
If you need to provide restitution for your offense, be sure to do so. Otherwise they may be unwilling to forgive you because they
think that forgiving you means that you will never provide restitution.
Be willing to demonstrate your repentance by making restitution if needed, changing your actions,
etc. Make a list here of practical things you can do to help improve your relationships with the ones you have
offended:
Beware of misplaced conviction. This can occur when God brings conviction for genuine wrongs we have
committed, but we refuse to ask forgiveness for them. It is as if we put a lid over these offenses, and refuse to deal with them.
Then the conviction that God sends runs off and falls onto other things, so that we feel very guilty over tiny little
unintentional things.
Sometimes the devil misuses our desire for a clear conscience by making us feel guilty and confused
about things for which we do not need to ask forgiveness. When we feel unsure whether or not to ask another's
forgiveness, this two-part test can help:
1.) Did I sin? If what you said or did was not a violation of God's Word, or
disobedience to the Holy Spirit's clear promptings to you, then there is no need to ask
another's forgiveness. If it is obvious that another is offended by something
you did that was not a sin, you
can talk to him or her with love and humility to clarify the misunderstanding or apologize for the inconvenience. ("I'm sorry I
couldn't get back to you sooner...")
2.) Did I offend them? Often we sin in thought, attitude, or motive. Though this does offend
the Lord, and we need to ask His forgiveness, these sins in themselves do not offend others. If you have thought
judgmentally toward a friend, ask the Lord to forgive you. But you don't need to tell your friend; it would probably only hurt her
feelings! It is only when wrong thoughts, attitudes, or motives spill over into wrong words or actions
(which can include even small things like rolling your eyes or using a wrong tone of voice) that we need to ask forgiveness.
Realize the forgiveness you have in Christ; don’t rehearse or worry about what’s already been
forgiven. Go on with life in humility and love! Once you have finally been able to correctly clear your conscience, the Lord will
give you new power in your walk with Him, greater joy, and increased effectiveness in working with other people. Through humbling
yourself, you receive the grace to do His will.
Terrific Results:
Look up the following verses, and list insights and truths to apply:
Grace – God pouring His blessing on my life. James 4:6, 10.
Boldness in approaching God and others. Hebrews 4:16.
Closeness to the Lord. Hebrews 10:22.
Spiritual maturity. Hebrews 5:14.
Friendship with others. James 5:16.
Testimony to the world. 1 Peter 3:15-16.
Spiritual fruit. John 15:5.
Continue to search your heart each day for unconfessed sin. Be willing to ask forgiveness for each
one. "Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my
anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way
everlasting." - Psalm 139:23-24.
Week 7 memory work: Choose at least one verse from the following list. Memorize the verse(s)
that you think will be the most helpful for you to remember:
Acts 24:16
Psalm 139:23-24
Julie was excited to learn about the importance of a clear conscience -- until she realized what
it would mean. Then her stomach knotted up and she wanted to forget she'd ever heard
this lesson.
She knew what applying it would mean -- asking her mom and dad to forgive her for something she had
done months ago. Her parents had told her she couldn’t email for a
week. She'd gotten angry -- that wasn't fair! One night she had emailed her friends -- and later her parents found out.
Nine months had gone by. She'd been very obedient since then, and had grown a lot in her walk with
the Lord. She would never do that kind of thing now. It had been so long ago... And after all, her parents had been rather harsh
and angry about it. They had never asked her forgiveness; why should she ask theirs? What would you do if you were Julie?
How Gaining a Clear Conscience Brought Freedom and Joy to My Life
By Lisa Bode
For many years, I tried to brush aside and forget about my offenses toward others. However, the
mounting number of unconfessed sins in my life resulted in guilt and bitterness. This led to coldness in my relationship with the
Lord and tension in my relationships with others. It kept me from being free to do God’s will and from showing His love to the
people around me.
I was slow to understand this principle. I thought at first that since sin could
not be taken back, it was really best to forget about it and go on. But I found that the sins I tried to forget and leave behind
only weighed upon my conscience and inhibited my success in everyday life. I realized then that confession and forgiveness was
needed. I confessed my sins to the Lord, and He forgave me. This restored my relationship with Him and enabled me to learn from my
past mistakes. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive
us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” - 1 John 1:9.
But the Lord was not finished teaching me. Though I was then content
to simply confess my sins to Him alone, He showed me that it was necessary to also ask forgiveness of those I had offended.
This was a hard truth
for me to accept, because of my pride and my fear of what others would think. At first I tried my best to rationalize my sin and
avoid confessing, but my conscience only became heavier. I realized that my relationships with others would not improve if I could
not ask their forgiveness for my offenses toward them. My mind finally grasped the truth that clearing my conscience toward
others was imperative for my spiritual success. Even though I knew it would desperately hurt my pride and perhaps shake
others’ opinions of me, I knew it had to be done.
Asking forgiveness of another person goes against every natural inclination. The first time I
purposed to ask forgiveness, it was agonizingly difficult, but God used it to give me
more humility, grace, and wisdom. As I saw the benefits of asking forgiveness, I purposed to completely clear my conscience of every
offense I had done in the past.
Each time I asked forgiveness, I experienced humiliation, but the Lord
gave me grace and deepened my relationships with others. “Surely He scorns
the scornful, but gives grace to the humble.” – Proverbs 3:34. As I learned true
humility, clearing my conscience became not quite as difficult as before. It was not long before I realized that even if my own
character growth was the only benefit of clearing my conscience, that would be enough.
By asking forgiveness I learned to view sin from God’s perspective and realized the importance of compassion for the
hurts of others.
The other results of clearing my conscience continually amaze me.
Asking forgiveness resolved
tension and pain in many of my family relationships. By clearing my conscience I was able to respond to my authorities God’s way
and learn to be a good example for my brother and sisters. This made life at home so much more encouraging and beneficial to me.
Asking forgiveness of those outside my family enabled me to share about the Lord, to express love for others, and to deepen
relationships with those God has given me as friends.
If I had never learned to clear my conscience, I would still be caught in the sin and guilt
and heartache I once had. But instead I am experiencing the wonderful
benefits of having a clear conscience. It is far worth the humiliation of asking forgiveness to gain a clear conscience!
Now I have an added safeguard against sin by remembering that if I
do sin, I will have to ask
forgiveness again – a thought that has deterred me many times! “... I
myself always strive to have a conscience without offense toward God and men.” – Acts 24:16. I am so glad
to know the blessed joy of having a clear conscience.
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